I registered at Montessori C - end of last post.
One of my sisters is a CPA who works for a children's NGO and as part of her work she evaluates preschools for allocating funding. At some point in her career she wanted to quit her CPA profession and go into teaching kids. So she got a Master's degree in education and taught fourth and fifth graders in a public school. But they had to move cities at some point and she realized if she wanted to be the kind of very dedicated teacher that she was, she was not having much time for her family in the evenings. So she went back to her accounting profession. She has two children, one now in college and the other in high school, both really sweet kids (not so kid anymore) and very smart and doing very well in school. Why do I bring this all up? Well, my sister from her experience as a teacher and a parent has very strong, let's say - sure - views on this whole preschool issue.
After registering in Montessori C, I had a niggling feeling that it may not be the perfect choice in terms of the money spent and the time involved in dropping off KB (since it is out of the way for B and a 15 min drive for me). I had toured a neighboring preschool run by a church which had a good reputation. But somehow I just did not feel good about that school. I toured that school a second time with B and when we went, all the preschoolers were sitting in one group in a classroom with the pastor holding some picture and telling them some bible story. I grew up in a school where we were taught a lot of Christian hymns and nearly 90% of the teachers were Christian. It is not that I have a problem with them teaching bible stories - I just did not want so much religious instruction at such an young age. Oh my God, as I write this I realized that I had forgotten to mention this in the minus point for Montessori C as well. They too have some bible lessons every week - except that if KB went MWF for half days, he would miss it for the first year. Only the next year when I put him five days a week, he will have to attend bible study class on Tuesday mornings.
Anyways - I talked to my sister again about my concerns. That I was spending $300 MORE (so you can imagine how expensive - just for 3 half days!) than the regular preschools just because it was a "Montessori" and that the drive itself would take some 35 min each way - door to door getting both kids in and out of the car. She had gone along with my Montessori decision until then. But after seeing that I was not sure if it was necessary to spend so much for age 3, she came on more strongly with her views. In her opinion a)it does not matter at all which type of school they go to at age 3 if it is a nurturing environment b) In fact it does not even matter if they don't "teach" much until they go to Kindergarten because at age five pretty much a lot of children just catch up with each other. She felt very strongly that there was no need to spend that much more for Montessori just because I feel KB will learn more there or because it is supposed to foster the child's creativity by allowing for free play.
I decided to keep Montessori C as a back up option and check out more schools. My neighbor's friend, another Indian woman, had told me about another preschool - also a 15 min drive for me, but on the way to B's work. I decided on a whim to call them up and check it out. The admissions coordinator told me that she could give me a tour right then since the registration process was the next week itself. So I went along with KB and KG (B had already left for work) to tour the school. Let's call this preschool W. I went at the appointed time and as I was trying to enter the gate, another parent was coming out, so I walked in while she held the gate for me. (Will get to why I mention this).
The first thing that struck me was that this school somehow had a completely relaxed and very sunny atmosphere to it. It had a central playground and the class rooms all opened out into this playground. There was a roofed corridor outside the class rooms - it had a bunch of stations - a large bin with colored rice and macroni with a bunch of pots in it, a station with a ton of wheeled toys of all sorts, another station with a table and six chairs and many mini tubs of paint with brushes and paper laid out...the open play area had toy shopping carts, rope ladders, a small rock climbing area, a little covered house area with a little sofa inside where I found a child playing on a toy cash register...
On the other side of the play ground, I saw a "gross motor development" specialist with a bunch of little children running through hoops, hopping into tires laid on the ground and what not. She applauded one child who pushed a hoop down but held it up for the next child to go through and said "Great cooperation, keep it up". She did not put on a stern voice to reprimand that child for pushing the hoop down, instead applauded him for doing things right after that.
The thing that really struck me overall was how happy and at home every child seemed to be there. The classrooms were spacious enough (not huge or small) and had a "pretend play" area with all kinds of dress up clothes and toys (a little girl had put on a "fairy" outfit as I peered into that class room and looked at me cheerfully and smiled), a toy area, a writing area, a craft area and books on low lying shelves.
From what the admissions coordinator described to me, it seemed as if the kids played pretty much all the time. They had more than one hour of play time in the playground outside and in the corridors outside the class room. One hour of in class time where also they played a lot. And some twenty minutes total of circle time. I went to this school just randomly to see what it was like - I just did not expect to like this school as much as I did. KB just did not want to come back home with me - I had to physically pick him up and drag him out and convince him that it was time to go home!
(Only thing though I am sure if he had been allowed in the classroom at Montessori C, he would have done the same thing).
Now to my decision:
- Preschool W is $300 cheaper
- Teacher student ratio is 1:6
- it is NAYCE accredited - which according to my sister is a big deal.
- except for one teacher who is new and has been there for two years, every teacher there has been there for 15 years!
- they do not give time outs. If a child's behavior is disruptive, they are taken to the office and made to "think" about what they did. If it persists, they talk to the parent and work with both the child and the parent to get things in order.
- We managed to get admission for the MWF 9 - 11.30 slot by standing in line well ahead of time and getting our names on top of the list!
- They do not have any religious instruction except for Christian songs during X-mas time.
Concerns about preschool W:
- the second time I toured with my SIL and nephew, I found that I could walk in through the gates without any problem. We peered into the two empty classrooms in front and walked to the other side of the U to enter the director's office. I am not sure if anyone noticed that we had walked in. This still concerns me. I found that there are a few other parents who are not happy with this either but three other parents I talked to love this school so much that they don't even think of this as an issue.
- well, this is not a concern, but more something to contend with. The popular "Indian" parent choice seems to be Montessori that is "academic". I get a little worried as to why I am gravitating more towards this preschool W where they only pretty much play all the time. The teacher reads them a couple of books a day, a music teacher comes once a week, the teacher herself sings songs every day. But there is nothing "academic" about this school. And what ever they do teach for age 3 kids, KB knows quite well already. Colors, shapes, numbers, letters...I mean what more does a three year old has to learn in an "academic" setting - I really am not sure. It makes me a bit nervous if I am making the right choice or not when I talk to a couple of my Indian friends who are very serious about the academic part at preschools. I feel KB will enjoy Montessori and may even learn a lot of different things there that he may not learn in this developmental preschool W. But I feel my goal at least at age three is that he should have fun - what ever basics he needs to know to go to pre-K or KG, he will learn at home anyway. I just don't know if I am missing something when I think about why a lot of other Indian parents don't like this kind of play oriented school. Left to myself, I will be happy if he played played and played all 2.5 hrs that he is there. I want him to learn to be with other kids and have fun interacting with them. There are parents who send their kids to Kumon at age 4, have a phonics teacher help them read at age 3 and it really makes me nervous if KB will be behind compared to these kids at age 5. And then if I pause to think about it, I realize I am just nervous around such parents. When I am in the peace and comfort of my home, I feel this is the kind of school I want for KB at age 3. What I will want for him at age 4 when he will understand a lot more and may actually benefit more from any other interesting things he might learn in a Montessori, I am not sure. But for now this is my choice. Except that the gate issue is really worrying me. I don't have too many options. Two other schools I looked into - one does not have an outdoor playground - forget that. Another home based Montessori - I have not toured it yet - but out of four hours, they only have 20 min of outdoor time. They have* to read a book every weekend and talk about in class every Monday. Too rigid for my taste. As of now I am down to these two options: preschool W and Montessori C.
If I am able to come to terms with the gate issue, I will choose preschool W. If not Montessori C is my only other option as of now.
For the kind ones who managed to read this far, thanks so much! :) I really mean it! I just wrote down my thoughts as fast as I could before the kids woke up!
I welcome and appreciate your comments on this topic!
By the way - both schools require KB to be completely potty trained. Am hoping and praying I should be able to do that by September for sure!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Guests, preschool hunting, sleeping...
Those are some of the reasons why I have not been posting for a while. I have had a bunch of guests - some family, some friends. My sister visited one weekend, my SIL and nephew another. It was a lot of fun but it also meant less time for blogging when they were here. And somehow I have been lazy to write anything. Also some days I feel very sleepy a little earlier than my usual sleep time past midnight...I enjoy reading what others write - and if I do that and also post comments - that's it - I don't have time to write a post. Since I am half asleep by that time.
A lot of posts came to mind - but I just did not get down to writing it. I figured some of those little things you want to write about - you either write it that day or it loses it's punch. Even for yourself. But the preschool search is very much on my mind and I talk about it almost every day to my sister or a friend. A lot of us are going through it now - so will post about it here.
KB will turn three in August'08. Initially I wanted him to start school in March or April of this year. But the one school - let's call it Montessori A - I had toured last year - which is quite popular in this city - had a ridiculously long wait list. They told me he would get an afternoon slot this year. Which meant I would have to drop him at 12.30 and pick him up at 3.30pm. This would mean that he would have to give up his afternoon nap. I did not want that for sure. So that school was out.
I had been so set on this A school when we moved to this city because at least amongst the few Indians who I knew in this city, this school was considered really good. So I was a bit lost when I figured this school was not an option in my mind since they could only give an afternoon slot. Another friend sends her daughter to Montessori B. I had toured that school last year with KB when they had an open house. As soon as KB entered the classroom, he started playing with the marbles and started sorting them into the different colors and put them into the respective bins for each color. He seemed quite at home and enjoyed playing at the different stations they had there. So I assumed he would feel at home there and we went to tour the school this year. We were just shown around the class room this time - we could not go in and see what the kids were doing. It was group walking in the corridor peering into the class room while the director kept talking about the school. I did not get too much out of the tour really. But since my friend's daughter goes there, she could tell me a lot of details about the school. Half an hour of play time first, then back to the class room. Once they are in class, they had part teacher directed activity and part free play - what ever the child wishes to do from all the play stations laid out in the class room. They had snack time for 15 min and after some more class room activity (all totaling about 2 hours), they were allowed to play in the play ground for another half an hour. So about one hour of play ground time and an hour and forty five minutes of class room time.
The plus points of Mont B:
a) KB seems like a Montessori kind of kid in my mind. He likes to tinker around with puzzles or sit quietly transferring water from one container to several smaller ones and have his own elaborate ritual and plan while doing so.
b) Well to put it bluntly - it is a "Indian-approved" kind of school. A lot of Indian parents around here seem to favor Montessori - which I didn't know about. Nearly every Indian parent I know here favors the Montessori system. When I put this in the "plus" list, I only mean that there is not much resistance to your choice - a lot of people think it is a great choice so you may feel like it is indeed a great choice.
c) My friend's daughter who is mild mannered (like KB) goes there. And my friend has no complaints about that school - she really felt her daughter was learning a lot especially after she turned four. According to my friend, she did not learn much at age three but she sees a lot of difference at age four.
d) May be a mixed age group (Age 3 - 5 are in the same class room) will be something KB will enjoy since he likes playing with kids older than him.
Minus points of Montessori B:
a)It costs nearly $300 more than a developmental school in the neighborhood (also considered to be a very good school, except it is not a Montessori)
b) It is not on the way for B to drop KB off in the morning. He has to go the opposite route, drop KB and trek back to the other end to get to work. And it takes about 15 min to reach the school by car.
c) Personally I am not at all sure if KB should go to Montessori at age three at least - spending all that extra money. Also, irrespective of the money spent, I felt KB will quite happily sit in one corner doing some little activity obsessively for a long time and may not even really interact too much with the other kids. My primary goal for sending him to preschool at age 3 is so he will interact more with other kids and engage in a lot of physical play.
After much discussion B and I decided to register KB at this school anyway. Seemed like a safe choice. I paid a fee of $150 for registration and walked out. As I walked out, I met another Indian woman who sends her daughter to that school. She was looking to send her second child (a few months older than KB) to this school. We started talking and she commented, "you know I feel they don't teach much at this school. Kids don't learn too much here. I am looking for some school that is more academic than this school". Now this came as a surprise to me. I thought this school was reputed for being "academic" oriented. But not too much either. I guess each person wants a different thing out of their chosen school. I felt a bit knotted up wondering why I don't feel so strongly that it be "more" academic. I liked the Montessori philosophy and I got the impression that this school had a good balance of "academics" and play. But here she was telling me that the school doesn't teach much etc. Nevertheless, I just decided that I did not care about that/her opinion and that KB would still go to Montessori B.
I will continue this post later. Sleepy for one. The post is lengthy as it is. And I have to write about two more schools. Will do so hopefully this week.
A lot of posts came to mind - but I just did not get down to writing it. I figured some of those little things you want to write about - you either write it that day or it loses it's punch. Even for yourself. But the preschool search is very much on my mind and I talk about it almost every day to my sister or a friend. A lot of us are going through it now - so will post about it here.
KB will turn three in August'08. Initially I wanted him to start school in March or April of this year. But the one school - let's call it Montessori A - I had toured last year - which is quite popular in this city - had a ridiculously long wait list. They told me he would get an afternoon slot this year. Which meant I would have to drop him at 12.30 and pick him up at 3.30pm. This would mean that he would have to give up his afternoon nap. I did not want that for sure. So that school was out.
I had been so set on this A school when we moved to this city because at least amongst the few Indians who I knew in this city, this school was considered really good. So I was a bit lost when I figured this school was not an option in my mind since they could only give an afternoon slot. Another friend sends her daughter to Montessori B. I had toured that school last year with KB when they had an open house. As soon as KB entered the classroom, he started playing with the marbles and started sorting them into the different colors and put them into the respective bins for each color. He seemed quite at home and enjoyed playing at the different stations they had there. So I assumed he would feel at home there and we went to tour the school this year. We were just shown around the class room this time - we could not go in and see what the kids were doing. It was group walking in the corridor peering into the class room while the director kept talking about the school. I did not get too much out of the tour really. But since my friend's daughter goes there, she could tell me a lot of details about the school. Half an hour of play time first, then back to the class room. Once they are in class, they had part teacher directed activity and part free play - what ever the child wishes to do from all the play stations laid out in the class room. They had snack time for 15 min and after some more class room activity (all totaling about 2 hours), they were allowed to play in the play ground for another half an hour. So about one hour of play ground time and an hour and forty five minutes of class room time.
The plus points of Mont B:
a) KB seems like a Montessori kind of kid in my mind. He likes to tinker around with puzzles or sit quietly transferring water from one container to several smaller ones and have his own elaborate ritual and plan while doing so.
b) Well to put it bluntly - it is a "Indian-approved" kind of school. A lot of Indian parents around here seem to favor Montessori - which I didn't know about. Nearly every Indian parent I know here favors the Montessori system. When I put this in the "plus" list, I only mean that there is not much resistance to your choice - a lot of people think it is a great choice so you may feel like it is indeed a great choice.
c) My friend's daughter who is mild mannered (like KB) goes there. And my friend has no complaints about that school - she really felt her daughter was learning a lot especially after she turned four. According to my friend, she did not learn much at age three but she sees a lot of difference at age four.
d) May be a mixed age group (Age 3 - 5 are in the same class room) will be something KB will enjoy since he likes playing with kids older than him.
Minus points of Montessori B:
a)It costs nearly $300 more than a developmental school in the neighborhood (also considered to be a very good school, except it is not a Montessori)
b) It is not on the way for B to drop KB off in the morning. He has to go the opposite route, drop KB and trek back to the other end to get to work. And it takes about 15 min to reach the school by car.
c) Personally I am not at all sure if KB should go to Montessori at age three at least - spending all that extra money. Also, irrespective of the money spent, I felt KB will quite happily sit in one corner doing some little activity obsessively for a long time and may not even really interact too much with the other kids. My primary goal for sending him to preschool at age 3 is so he will interact more with other kids and engage in a lot of physical play.
After much discussion B and I decided to register KB at this school anyway. Seemed like a safe choice. I paid a fee of $150 for registration and walked out. As I walked out, I met another Indian woman who sends her daughter to that school. She was looking to send her second child (a few months older than KB) to this school. We started talking and she commented, "you know I feel they don't teach much at this school. Kids don't learn too much here. I am looking for some school that is more academic than this school". Now this came as a surprise to me. I thought this school was reputed for being "academic" oriented. But not too much either. I guess each person wants a different thing out of their chosen school. I felt a bit knotted up wondering why I don't feel so strongly that it be "more" academic. I liked the Montessori philosophy and I got the impression that this school had a good balance of "academics" and play. But here she was telling me that the school doesn't teach much etc. Nevertheless, I just decided that I did not care about that/her opinion and that KB would still go to Montessori B.
I will continue this post later. Sleepy for one. The post is lengthy as it is. And I have to write about two more schools. Will do so hopefully this week.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
What makes me happy
Kiran tagged me to write down things that make me happy. It's funny that a cheery tag like this can actually send me into melancholic mood...
Because I wonder about what makes me happy and I wonder if the answers are taking a while to come to my mind, if I am not happy now...or is it just that I am sleepy and my brain has turned off?!
I really enjoyed reading Kiran's list. I actually wished I could have written a list like that. To know so clearly that some of those things would make me happy...that would do me good.
Shoes, perfume, bags, a gift from husband (not that it happens often - he assumes now that I don't like what he gives me anyway!), chocolates, mom's cooking...none of those would feature in my list. I used to delight in "Kit Kat" chocolates when I was a kid - it really used to make me happy. My sister used to bring it from the US when she visited and somehow we used to get a stock every few months. Now it means nothing to me. Kind of sad when those simple things don't make you as happy anymore! Well, I love mom's cooking - but I don't know if that's what would make me "happy". On second thoughts, a "thoughtful" gift from husband may make me happy - just because he thought about it and got it! See, I am taking this tag so seriously.
I can think of some moments that made me truly happy. But when it fades into memory, it all seems so fleeting and hard to attain again - it makes me sad again. So I don't even think about it. I tend to thrive on just silly jokes and laugh so hard over nothing and somehow those moments are when I would say I am happy. But yes for the purpose of this tag - there are a few things that do make me happy...
- when I catch up with an old friend and I feel like I spoke to him/her only yesterday...that warm feeling makes me feel happy.
- the other day I was about to go downstairs to make my decaff tea and come back up to the office room (where I use the laptop) after saying "good night" to B. He walked out of our room to get something and somehow we end up talking in hushed tones (so as to not awaken the kids) right there by the stair case and laughed so hard over some silly joke he made...those unexpected moments of laughter just make me really happy. I just thrive on such moments.
- when I receive a nice long hand written letter or even a meaningful, warm email from a friend - who is truly making conversation with me...it really makes me happy.
- There are a few friends with whom I talk and somehow we end up spinning silly jokes - taking off from the other person's last line - just keep spinning on and on and laughing over nothing - it happens every now and then when we talk - I love those kind of conversations. We just laugh and laugh and just enjoy ourselves so much.
- I sometimes randomly make small sketches on pieces of paper (looking at some other sketch and copying it) - occasionally I paint it in color - when they turn out well, it makes me happy.
- When I was pregnant with KB, I could not find maternity clothes that fell nicely on me - especially the sun dresses. So I got myself a sewing machine and bought a couple of patterns and sewed a few sun dresses for myself. I felt really happy when I wore them - I never had the patience to sew nor did I think I could sew at all - that unexpected piece of my own creation made me happy. (OK, so sewing a good outfit makes me happy!).
- When I sing a song and hit the high note perfectly, and I hear the reverberation I feel truly truly happy. I wish I could sing more often and well. I would be much happier as a person over all I think!
- my children make me really really really happy. When the four of us sit together as a family and play with them, I wish I could live in that moment for ever. I feel truly happy and blessed. And even as I think that I have this fear that something may take that away from me.
- If my dad was also alive and if my parents still were living in our house in Chennai and I could go back to visit them there...spend time at home...it would make me so so so happy! Sorry Poppin - I know you are shaking your head saying "What's this obsession about a home in India?!". But the image of it fills me with happiness and that it will never be - that my children can never go back to a home there - makes me sad.
Now I am moving a happy tag to a sad tag - so I better stop here. It's pretty late anyway and B wants to leave early for work tomorrow - so I better wind up now. Sorry Kiran - this is just a random list of things that make me happy. Thanks anyway for tagging me - helps me realize that there are definitely some things that make me happy! :)
Because I wonder about what makes me happy and I wonder if the answers are taking a while to come to my mind, if I am not happy now...or is it just that I am sleepy and my brain has turned off?!
I really enjoyed reading Kiran's list. I actually wished I could have written a list like that. To know so clearly that some of those things would make me happy...that would do me good.
Shoes, perfume, bags, a gift from husband (not that it happens often - he assumes now that I don't like what he gives me anyway!), chocolates, mom's cooking...none of those would feature in my list. I used to delight in "Kit Kat" chocolates when I was a kid - it really used to make me happy. My sister used to bring it from the US when she visited and somehow we used to get a stock every few months. Now it means nothing to me. Kind of sad when those simple things don't make you as happy anymore! Well, I love mom's cooking - but I don't know if that's what would make me "happy". On second thoughts, a "thoughtful" gift from husband may make me happy - just because he thought about it and got it! See, I am taking this tag so seriously.
I can think of some moments that made me truly happy. But when it fades into memory, it all seems so fleeting and hard to attain again - it makes me sad again. So I don't even think about it. I tend to thrive on just silly jokes and laugh so hard over nothing and somehow those moments are when I would say I am happy. But yes for the purpose of this tag - there are a few things that do make me happy...
- when I catch up with an old friend and I feel like I spoke to him/her only yesterday...that warm feeling makes me feel happy.
- the other day I was about to go downstairs to make my decaff tea and come back up to the office room (where I use the laptop) after saying "good night" to B. He walked out of our room to get something and somehow we end up talking in hushed tones (so as to not awaken the kids) right there by the stair case and laughed so hard over some silly joke he made...those unexpected moments of laughter just make me really happy. I just thrive on such moments.
- when I receive a nice long hand written letter or even a meaningful, warm email from a friend - who is truly making conversation with me...it really makes me happy.
- There are a few friends with whom I talk and somehow we end up spinning silly jokes - taking off from the other person's last line - just keep spinning on and on and laughing over nothing - it happens every now and then when we talk - I love those kind of conversations. We just laugh and laugh and just enjoy ourselves so much.
- I sometimes randomly make small sketches on pieces of paper (looking at some other sketch and copying it) - occasionally I paint it in color - when they turn out well, it makes me happy.
- When I was pregnant with KB, I could not find maternity clothes that fell nicely on me - especially the sun dresses. So I got myself a sewing machine and bought a couple of patterns and sewed a few sun dresses for myself. I felt really happy when I wore them - I never had the patience to sew nor did I think I could sew at all - that unexpected piece of my own creation made me happy. (OK, so sewing a good outfit makes me happy!).
- When I sing a song and hit the high note perfectly, and I hear the reverberation I feel truly truly happy. I wish I could sing more often and well. I would be much happier as a person over all I think!
- my children make me really really really happy. When the four of us sit together as a family and play with them, I wish I could live in that moment for ever. I feel truly happy and blessed. And even as I think that I have this fear that something may take that away from me.
- If my dad was also alive and if my parents still were living in our house in Chennai and I could go back to visit them there...spend time at home...it would make me so so so happy! Sorry Poppin - I know you are shaking your head saying "What's this obsession about a home in India?!". But the image of it fills me with happiness and that it will never be - that my children can never go back to a home there - makes me sad.
Now I am moving a happy tag to a sad tag - so I better stop here. It's pretty late anyway and B wants to leave early for work tomorrow - so I better wind up now. Sorry Kiran - this is just a random list of things that make me happy. Thanks anyway for tagging me - helps me realize that there are definitely some things that make me happy! :)
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
KB ate what?!
Avocado parathas?! Wow! I mean this kid is really too much. I give him apple juice, he says "No". I ask him if he wants to have tutti fruti ice-cream - No. I think he just doesn't like food. No, just like his mother he is picky. That's all. Totally random.
We went to the Indian store the other day and B ordered Sev Puri. KB immediately asked for a cup of the same stuff - minus the puri. So he wanted the Sev - which he calls "Maggi" on taking a quick look. I feel excited if he just wants to try any new food. I can't explain why this fills me with excitement but it does. For a lot of parents, they are used to their child wanting to eat a lot of different things even if they are not good eaters. But for me, if KB even agrees to try something new, I feel happy - since he doesn't do so easily.
I saw this recipe for avocado chapathis. I give both KB and KG avocado every now and then as part of their meals. Mashed in the blender for KG and just sauteed for KB.
I decided to make avocado parathas today since I had a little bit of time since KB was in a good mood and looked like he would give me time to experiment with stuff.
These parathas turned out so yummy - I thought I should post about it so the few people who read my post can try it out. Especially since avocados are so good for health - it would be nice if some kids end up liking this stuff.
I took about 3/4 of an avocado (chopped) and added a pinch of turmeric, coriander leaves, two green chillies and put them all into the blender container. Just as I was about to blend it, on a whim, I just added a 1/4 teaspoon amount of MTR kothamalli thokku (coriander thokku). It gave it a bit of spicy twist. You can skip adding the thokku of course.
I blended this to paste and added enough chapathi flour (I used Laxmi brand) to knead it into a soft dough. No extra water added to the flour.
It gave me about 7 medium sized parathas. It is so easy to make parathas this way - once you blend it all as part of the flour - esp with avocados, it just yields to the motions of the roller so smoothly. No cracks, nothing.
By the way, two people (Neera in her comment) wrote to me that they tried out my MIL's pulav recipe and that it turned out to be awesome - I wish I could call my MIL now and tell her that. It is during these moments that you miss the person. But she lives on in the memories she has created for us and now in all the yummy pulav that a few people have had.
Oh back to the original story - so I made these avocado parathas and B just loved them. He could not guess at all what he was having until I told him. Note, this is "B" who loved them, not "KB" - if KB had "loved" the parathas, I would have been in heaven and still floating there! I cut half a paratha into different shapes (since KB had macroni with butter for a snack late evening - he did not want dinner) and lured KB to the table. I could not believe that he didn't actually run away looking at the green stuff in front of him. He actually had a few pieces. I think he stopped after a few pieces because he was not very hungry. But I still felt elated that he ate a few pieces of my new (borrowed recipe of course)creation. Am hoping to somehow get him to eat this good stuff more often! Hope some of you try this as well - good stuff for the kids especially!
We went to the Indian store the other day and B ordered Sev Puri. KB immediately asked for a cup of the same stuff - minus the puri. So he wanted the Sev - which he calls "Maggi" on taking a quick look. I feel excited if he just wants to try any new food. I can't explain why this fills me with excitement but it does. For a lot of parents, they are used to their child wanting to eat a lot of different things even if they are not good eaters. But for me, if KB even agrees to try something new, I feel happy - since he doesn't do so easily.
I saw this recipe for avocado chapathis. I give both KB and KG avocado every now and then as part of their meals. Mashed in the blender for KG and just sauteed for KB.
I decided to make avocado parathas today since I had a little bit of time since KB was in a good mood and looked like he would give me time to experiment with stuff.
These parathas turned out so yummy - I thought I should post about it so the few people who read my post can try it out. Especially since avocados are so good for health - it would be nice if some kids end up liking this stuff.
I took about 3/4 of an avocado (chopped) and added a pinch of turmeric, coriander leaves, two green chillies and put them all into the blender container. Just as I was about to blend it, on a whim, I just added a 1/4 teaspoon amount of MTR kothamalli thokku (coriander thokku). It gave it a bit of spicy twist. You can skip adding the thokku of course.
I blended this to paste and added enough chapathi flour (I used Laxmi brand) to knead it into a soft dough. No extra water added to the flour.
It gave me about 7 medium sized parathas. It is so easy to make parathas this way - once you blend it all as part of the flour - esp with avocados, it just yields to the motions of the roller so smoothly. No cracks, nothing.
By the way, two people (Neera in her comment) wrote to me that they tried out my MIL's pulav recipe and that it turned out to be awesome - I wish I could call my MIL now and tell her that. It is during these moments that you miss the person. But she lives on in the memories she has created for us and now in all the yummy pulav that a few people have had.
Oh back to the original story - so I made these avocado parathas and B just loved them. He could not guess at all what he was having until I told him. Note, this is "B" who loved them, not "KB" - if KB had "loved" the parathas, I would have been in heaven and still floating there! I cut half a paratha into different shapes (since KB had macroni with butter for a snack late evening - he did not want dinner) and lured KB to the table. I could not believe that he didn't actually run away looking at the green stuff in front of him. He actually had a few pieces. I think he stopped after a few pieces because he was not very hungry. But I still felt elated that he ate a few pieces of my new (borrowed recipe of course)creation. Am hoping to somehow get him to eat this good stuff more often! Hope some of you try this as well - good stuff for the kids especially!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Spontaneous moments...
I had mentioned in the previous post that we went to shop for a larger area rug for the living room. We have tiled flooring downstairs and carpeted floors upstairs where the bedrooms are. When I give KB his meals, I put a separate sheet and some toys on the rug and let KG play and move around there. But of late she moves around so fast that I end up running behind her while feeding KB. She turns, cranes her neck to the point of interest and rolls and slides and somehow gets to where she wants to go. She pulls things on top of her face, takes KB's toys that are not appropriate for her age (heavy) and tries to pull on them. Also, the floor is quite cold since it has been cold and rainy outside. So I decided it would be best to get a large rug so at least she can wander around more freely with less stress for me in having to monitor her movements on the bare floor. We got a nice rug that B picked up on Monday morning and we have it on the living room floor now. It's been so good for me to have this large rug because both KB and KG are able to have some space around them when they are playing or if KG is watching KB play.
Last night, KB again went to our CD rack and brought some random CD that he could reach. As per his "order" we put this CD in the player - it was "Dave Brubeck's greatest hits". It was fun to listen to some nice Jazz music after a long time. I was glad that KB didn't ask us to turn it off mid way and ask for some other children's CD. KB came and sat next to me while B was standing on the rug and listening to the music and chatting with me. Suddenly I told KB, "ask Daddy to play the piano". B immediately pretended like he was playing the piano with full gusto in the tune of the music we were listening to. KB found this very funny - all the animated body movements from B - and he started laughing. So I prompted him to ask his dad to play the Saxophone. B again pretended to be playing the Saxophone like a true Jazz musician - with added histrionics as if he was really holding a saxophone. He started dancing mildly with this pretend Saxophone too. Now KB really got into this game and started adding more and more instruments. The all rounder B who suddenly became adept at all instruments in this imaginary world was enjoying being the showman on center stage. He really danced on while playing the requested instruments. KB and I were laughing so much through all this - it was a moment to preserve in memory. We were truly making merry at that moment. Being given a part in KB's innocent and sweet world.
A little while later, we told KB it was his bed time and gave him his night time milk. Then it was time for his diaper change. We had mentally wound down for the night and thought the fun had ended. KB got down from the couch while the music was still playing and continued to linger in that moment by dancing crazily, imitating very much B's movements from a few minutes back. It was just unbelievably funny. It was pure delight for us parents to watch this little child of ours entertain us with his crazy but adorable dancing that was also quite in tune with the music playing in the background. Ah - I just thrive on such spontaneous moments. It doesn't happen when you keep looking for it but when it happens, it is pure, unadulterated joy! The new rug already has a memory attached to it. I suppose this is how a home is built!
Last night, KB again went to our CD rack and brought some random CD that he could reach. As per his "order" we put this CD in the player - it was "Dave Brubeck's greatest hits". It was fun to listen to some nice Jazz music after a long time. I was glad that KB didn't ask us to turn it off mid way and ask for some other children's CD. KB came and sat next to me while B was standing on the rug and listening to the music and chatting with me. Suddenly I told KB, "ask Daddy to play the piano". B immediately pretended like he was playing the piano with full gusto in the tune of the music we were listening to. KB found this very funny - all the animated body movements from B - and he started laughing. So I prompted him to ask his dad to play the Saxophone. B again pretended to be playing the Saxophone like a true Jazz musician - with added histrionics as if he was really holding a saxophone. He started dancing mildly with this pretend Saxophone too. Now KB really got into this game and started adding more and more instruments. The all rounder B who suddenly became adept at all instruments in this imaginary world was enjoying being the showman on center stage. He really danced on while playing the requested instruments. KB and I were laughing so much through all this - it was a moment to preserve in memory. We were truly making merry at that moment. Being given a part in KB's innocent and sweet world.
A little while later, we told KB it was his bed time and gave him his night time milk. Then it was time for his diaper change. We had mentally wound down for the night and thought the fun had ended. KB got down from the couch while the music was still playing and continued to linger in that moment by dancing crazily, imitating very much B's movements from a few minutes back. It was just unbelievably funny. It was pure delight for us parents to watch this little child of ours entertain us with his crazy but adorable dancing that was also quite in tune with the music playing in the background. Ah - I just thrive on such spontaneous moments. It doesn't happen when you keep looking for it but when it happens, it is pure, unadulterated joy! The new rug already has a memory attached to it. I suppose this is how a home is built!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Rainy sunday and yummy pulav
It's been raining in our part of the world all weekend. Usually on weekends, I feel this need to plan for the morning and make sure we take KB out to the park where he can run around and play freely. If we go on weekdays, I have to hold KG and run behind him to make sure he doesn't fall from the slide or some such thing (invariably he runs under some slide structure or falls from one when I am holding her or cannot run under something!). This weekend in a way was more relaxed for me since it was raining and we decided to just take it easy and not go out anywhere in the morning unless it stopped raining.
I gave KB his breakfast and then had mine, fed KG and then started cooking. Decided to make vegetable pulav and raita. I had my MIL's recipe for pulav which always turns out well. While I was cooking, KB had a great time playing in the new school bus tent along with B. He pretended to be driving B to the shop for groceries in his school bus. KB and our neighbor's daughter had a rollicking time playing in this tent on Saturday morning.
After feeding KB his lunch, we ate our lunch. We enjoyed the pulav so much (thanks to my MIL's recipe) that I decided to post the recipe here. After lunch, suddenly the sun was out and it had stopped raining. But we only had about 45 min before KB and KG's afternoon nap time. So we decided to go to the local library. It was so relaxing - KB and I walked to the Children's section, B and KG wandered off into some other non fiction area that he wanted to check out. KB sat on the table like one of the big kids there and pretended to read a book. He then got down and came to the shelf I was at and put the book back, got another book, went back to the table and continued to read.
We got back home and both KB and KG fell asleep in no time. B and I had tea and chatted for a short while. B normally doesn't eat white rice (has cracked wheat) - on days he has pulav he feels this need for a nice afternoon nap. He napped while I spent a little while looking at a couple of blogs, posting responses etc. B came upstairs and downloaded some photos from the camera into the computer - so of course we had fun admiring our own kids in their different moods in the photos. KB woke up early from his nap. Back to duties - feeding the kids/changing the kids/getting some basic dinner ready etc until 6.30pm. We then took the kids out to shop for a larger area rug for the living room. KB had a great time running around at the store and just to make such a relaxing and lovely day even more perfect, he ate his meal peacefully and quickly without any fuss. Some days are just cozy and fun no matter what the weather is outside!
Here is the Pulav recipe and a picture of KB enjoying his new tent!
----------------------------------------------
1)
Dhania - 3 teaspoons
Black pepper - 3
Cinnamon sticks - 4 or 5 small thin ones (I just took one full long one and crushed a few flakes into the mix - didn't want too strong a flavor).
Cloves - 4 or 5
Jeera - 1/4 tea spoon
Red Chilly - 1
Elaichi - 4 (open and crush seeds).
Fry these in little oil.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2)
Add:
Grated Coconut - 4tbl spoons
Green chillies - 3 or 4
Coriander - lots
Garlic pods - 2 chopped fine
Ginger - 1 piece
Onion (medium size) - half onion, chopped fine.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blend (1) and (2) to paste. Quickly sautee the paste in about 4 tea spoons of oil.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Add cooked Basmati rice (I cook the rice separately and boil the vegetables separately - all parallel processing - not really hard) and cooked vegetables to the paste (after the raw smell goes away from the sauteeing) and mix it well.
Vegetables I generally use - Potato, carrot, beans, Valore Lilva (not sure what it is called - we get it frozen at the Indian store), peas.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cracked wheat pulav:
I make cracked wheat pulav or pulav with brown basmati rice (lower glycemic index - for those worried about sugar/weight/cholesterol etc) if I just want to make a quick pulav with a lot of vegetables.
Since dotmom had asked me how I cook the cracked wheat - I thought I will post that recipe here too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy cracked wheat – light bulgur or the cracked wheat (No 2)avail at the Indian store.
Need cauiliflower (half, cut into florets), potatoes (1 or 2 small, peel skin, chop into big cubes), onion (one small, medium size pieces), a bunch of coriander leaves finely chopped and green chillies, 3 or 4 cut into half. Mint leaves too if u want. and beans, radish etc if u have/want.. just any veggies you add for pulav is fine.
Heat oil. Add 4 or 5 cloves, lil cinnamon, one bay leaf and two cardamoms (open). Then add onions and sautee for a min. To this add a dash of black pepper (if you have the pepper mill, fresh grind, if not pepper powder). (If you happen to have the MTR Pulav powder, you can add a teaspoon of that too).
To this add the cauli,aloo,green chillies, coriander. mix well and let it cook for just 1 min. add salt.
Add 3/4 coffee mug (or a full mug) of toasted cracked wheat to this and mix well with the oil and veggies.
Transfer the whole thing to a pressure cooker vessel and add 2.5 times (the amt of cracked wheat) water.
Pressure cook to only 3 whistles like for rice.
If you don't want to use the cooker, you can add water to the same pan and keep it covered and cook on low for half an hour. (I prefer this until I kind of get an idea of how much water works for that particular brand of cracked wheat).
Amt of water needed may vary depending on the wheat. This is a watered down version - but since it does not have coconut or too much masala stuff (no blending also) - it is a healthier/lighter version of the other pulav.
I gave KB his breakfast and then had mine, fed KG and then started cooking. Decided to make vegetable pulav and raita. I had my MIL's recipe for pulav which always turns out well. While I was cooking, KB had a great time playing in the new school bus tent along with B. He pretended to be driving B to the shop for groceries in his school bus. KB and our neighbor's daughter had a rollicking time playing in this tent on Saturday morning.
After feeding KB his lunch, we ate our lunch. We enjoyed the pulav so much (thanks to my MIL's recipe) that I decided to post the recipe here. After lunch, suddenly the sun was out and it had stopped raining. But we only had about 45 min before KB and KG's afternoon nap time. So we decided to go to the local library. It was so relaxing - KB and I walked to the Children's section, B and KG wandered off into some other non fiction area that he wanted to check out. KB sat on the table like one of the big kids there and pretended to read a book. He then got down and came to the shelf I was at and put the book back, got another book, went back to the table and continued to read.
We got back home and both KB and KG fell asleep in no time. B and I had tea and chatted for a short while. B normally doesn't eat white rice (has cracked wheat) - on days he has pulav he feels this need for a nice afternoon nap. He napped while I spent a little while looking at a couple of blogs, posting responses etc. B came upstairs and downloaded some photos from the camera into the computer - so of course we had fun admiring our own kids in their different moods in the photos. KB woke up early from his nap. Back to duties - feeding the kids/changing the kids/getting some basic dinner ready etc until 6.30pm. We then took the kids out to shop for a larger area rug for the living room. KB had a great time running around at the store and just to make such a relaxing and lovely day even more perfect, he ate his meal peacefully and quickly without any fuss. Some days are just cozy and fun no matter what the weather is outside!
Here is the Pulav recipe and a picture of KB enjoying his new tent!
----------------------------------------------
1)
Dhania - 3 teaspoons
Black pepper - 3
Cinnamon sticks - 4 or 5 small thin ones (I just took one full long one and crushed a few flakes into the mix - didn't want too strong a flavor).
Cloves - 4 or 5
Jeera - 1/4 tea spoon
Red Chilly - 1
Elaichi - 4 (open and crush seeds).
Fry these in little oil.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2)
Add:
Grated Coconut - 4tbl spoons
Green chillies - 3 or 4
Coriander - lots
Garlic pods - 2 chopped fine
Ginger - 1 piece
Onion (medium size) - half onion, chopped fine.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blend (1) and (2) to paste. Quickly sautee the paste in about 4 tea spoons of oil.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Add cooked Basmati rice (I cook the rice separately and boil the vegetables separately - all parallel processing - not really hard) and cooked vegetables to the paste (after the raw smell goes away from the sauteeing) and mix it well.
Vegetables I generally use - Potato, carrot, beans, Valore Lilva (not sure what it is called - we get it frozen at the Indian store), peas.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cracked wheat pulav:
I make cracked wheat pulav or pulav with brown basmati rice (lower glycemic index - for those worried about sugar/weight/cholesterol etc) if I just want to make a quick pulav with a lot of vegetables.
Since dotmom had asked me how I cook the cracked wheat - I thought I will post that recipe here too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy cracked wheat – light bulgur or the cracked wheat (No 2)avail at the Indian store.
Need cauiliflower (half, cut into florets), potatoes (1 or 2 small, peel skin, chop into big cubes), onion (one small, medium size pieces), a bunch of coriander leaves finely chopped and green chillies, 3 or 4 cut into half. Mint leaves too if u want. and beans, radish etc if u have/want.. just any veggies you add for pulav is fine.
Heat oil. Add 4 or 5 cloves, lil cinnamon, one bay leaf and two cardamoms (open). Then add onions and sautee for a min. To this add a dash of black pepper (if you have the pepper mill, fresh grind, if not pepper powder). (If you happen to have the MTR Pulav powder, you can add a teaspoon of that too).
To this add the cauli,aloo,green chillies, coriander. mix well and let it cook for just 1 min. add salt.
Add 3/4 coffee mug (or a full mug) of toasted cracked wheat to this and mix well with the oil and veggies.
Transfer the whole thing to a pressure cooker vessel and add 2.5 times (the amt of cracked wheat) water.
Pressure cook to only 3 whistles like for rice.
If you don't want to use the cooker, you can add water to the same pan and keep it covered and cook on low for half an hour. (I prefer this until I kind of get an idea of how much water works for that particular brand of cracked wheat).
Amt of water needed may vary depending on the wheat. This is a watered down version - but since it does not have coconut or too much masala stuff (no blending also) - it is a healthier/lighter version of the other pulav.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
KB and KG
For those of you perched on the wall and wondering which camp (one child or two) to jump into...
Here's evidence to convince you that
a) the second child will find ways to entertain herself.
Hmm...my fingers look interesting!
b) the second child will also often entertain and pamper the older one!
c) the two together will indulge you every now and then - let you take pictures, finish your lunch and then attend to them! When you see them bond this way, I can guarantee you will feel that it was worth going through all the pregnancy pains again!
d) You can relive every precious moment, every little milestone again with the second one - except this time you will* be more relaxed as a parent and enjoy it peacefully.
e)You will love your first child in a whole new dimension - in the role of the older sibling. You will marvel at the love he is capable of giving to someone who supposedly is now competing for your attention!
Here's evidence to convince you that
a) the second child will find ways to entertain herself.
Hmm...my fingers look interesting!
b) the second child will also often entertain and pamper the older one!
c) the two together will indulge you every now and then - let you take pictures, finish your lunch and then attend to them! When you see them bond this way, I can guarantee you will feel that it was worth going through all the pregnancy pains again!
d) You can relive every precious moment, every little milestone again with the second one - except this time you will* be more relaxed as a parent and enjoy it peacefully.
e)You will love your first child in a whole new dimension - in the role of the older sibling. You will marvel at the love he is capable of giving to someone who supposedly is now competing for your attention!
Income disparity
Hi Dotmom - This was getting to be another long comment - figured I would just post it in my blog space rather than hog your comment space again. This is in response to this comment from you:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does this statement exactly mean then??
//
am talking about the disproportionately high incomes of CEOs compared to the lowest workers at least in garment factories and such...
//
they are disproportionate for a reason.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By disproportionate I mean it is ridiculously so. Of course it is disproportionate for many reasons. I assumed you would understand what I meant - and not in the literal sense - that I expect an unskilled laborer to be paid exactly the same as the CEO or the doctor to be paid the same as the janitor.
There is competition for talent and so of course the cream of the crop gets huge amounts in pay and all sorts of incentives when s/he gets hired as the CEO. But the disparity, not just between CEO and the lowest level worker, but even the CEO and the average skilled worker is huge...one can understand a disparity - but 200 - 250 times (see link below) more money than an average worker - seems very* disproportionate to me. Esp if the workers way down below are being paid pittance and often has to live below poverty lines...
http://www.epi.org/content.cfm/webfeatures_snapshots_20060621
Companies have to make profits against stiff competition...the only way to win now is to have cheap labor but a large percentage of the profits reaped go to the CEOs and top level people extremely disproportionately.
My original point was that there are injustices everywhere. In my opinion, this kind of egregious disparity (which is what I meant by disproportionate and of course we can argue over weather it really is egregious or not) in pay is an injustice to the lowest level worker. I am trying to say that we are willing to live with one kind of injustice or the other in different aspects of our lives…but that doesn’t mean one doesn’t stop trying to work towards a fair and just society as a whole – you do it in your own way say when you wrote about the blood diamonds and some other person does it in some other way…There will always be inconsistencies but people try in their own ways and every bit counts…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adding to this post instead of writing in the comment space:
Preethi – thanks for reading and for commenting. My response to your comment will be my post itself – since that is what I was writing about in the first place – that it is disproportionate and of course with reason – but that in my opinion it is egregious – the disparity. Every one knows the skill sets and responsibilities are different – if not any Tom could be the CEO of a company. It is how much more should he/she be paid that we are arguing about.
Dotmom – An average programmer makes 150K and the CEO makes 300K – not a lot – in terms of just pay – but the stock differences awarded to each are huge. You can see that the CEO is not just making twice what the programmer makes but 250 times more. You cannot compare just base pay – the stocks contribute to the egregious difference. And CEO pays are determined by boards, I agree. But who make up the boards and how do they arrive at the package?
Here’s a part of the text from Mr.Warren Buffet’s shareholder newsletter:
Buffett on compensation committees:
From 2006 shareholder letter (Page 19 of http://www.berkshirehathaway.com/letters/2006ltr.pdf):
You’ve read loads about CEOs who have received astronomical compensation for mediocre results. Much less well-advertised is the fact that America’s CEOs also generally live the good life. Many, it should be emphasized, are exceptionally able, and almost all work far more than 40 hours a week. But they are usually treated like royalty in the process. (And we’re certainly going to keep it that way at Berkshire. Though Charlie still favors sackcloth and ashes, I prefer to be spoiled rotten. Berkshire owns The Pampered Chef; our wonderful office group has made me The Pampered Chief.)
CEO perks at one company are quickly copied elsewhere. “All the other kids have one” may seem a thought too juvenile to use as a rationale in the boardroom. But consultants employ precisely this argument, phrased more elegantly of course, when they make recommendations to comp committees. Irrational and excessive comp practices will not be materially changed by disclosure or by “independent” comp committee members. Indeed, I think it’s likely that the reason I was rejected for service on so many comp committees was that I was regarded as too independent. Compensation reform
will only occur if the largest institutional shareholders – it would only take a few – demand a fresh look at the whole system. The consultants’ present drill of deftly selecting “peer” companies to compare with their clients will only perpetuate present excesses.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From CNN:
Buffett and Munger both were scathing on the subject of executive compensation and the process of how pay is set at major corporations:
"The typical large company has a compensation committee," said Buffett. "They don't look for Dobermans on that committee, they look for chihuahuas."
He paused amid laughter, then added: "Chihuahuas that have been sedated."
Munger interjected: "I would rather throw a viper down my shirt front than hire a compensation consultant."
http://money.cnn.com/2004/05/03/pf/buffett_qanda/
I agree that the CEO deserves to be paid a lot more than an average worker in the company – he clearly has a huge responsibility. But what is the risk involved in his job? If the company fails, aside from the fall from grace, how is the CEO penalized? With a generous severance package? Check out this link about the “risks” involved in becoming a CEO.
CEO compensation is not necessarily tied to the performance of the company or adjusted as per the company’s growth anyway.
Stock prices do not slide because of CEO pay -- they slide because of drop in earnings. And a drop in earnings is not entirely because of a CEO not doing his job. Likewise, CEO is not entirely responsible for increase in earnings either.
Free markets are good and bad. Depends on which class of society you are talking to.
I feel I am able to sit in a comfortable situation and talk about its merits. But I cannot deny that there are a lot of people paying the price for my comfort and definitely that of an extremely indulgent life style for CEOs of big companies. If Walmart (or any large company for that matter) sets a price to its manufacturer in China, who in turn has to pay his laborers poorly to meet the price, who is likely to ignore environmental damage to balance costs – I am part of that system that doesn’t demand the laborer be paid more. Not as much as a top level exec to put it clearly here - but more than the pittance they get for the long hours they work. I am not out there saying that I want to pay more for my goods so that the laborer there gets more. Which was my point in the first place – that I am only willing/able to fight some battles…And we all try to contribute to a fair and healthy society in our own ways.
I finally got some uninterrupted time at 11.30pm. Too tired to write more – but we know where we stand in this issue.
Anyways – made for an interesting exchange!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Continuing the post:
In response to your last comment:
I agree that those sorts of things – 35h weeks only etc are not sustainable in this competitive world. But all my points still stand. It is more after coming to the US that I have noticed, read and thought more about all this. Free market is good – leads to competition, quality, consumption, jobs etc etc. But free market is not really a free market - it favors the rich and powerful. It certainly does not trickle down in an ideal manner. If it was trickling down so well, then the disparity in wealth, in what kind of health care, education and retirement people can afford won’t be so wide and obvious. My point about CEO pay and how the compensation gets decided etc is to highlight this. One person gets grossly over paid irrespective of performance and the lower level workers grossly underpaid in comparison
(as GND has written in the comments here). CEO pay is not governed by free market economics. Free market is driven towards maximizing profits which doesn’t often go with protecting the environment.
How much do we - on a day to day basis - think about all this or protest what we think may be an injustice? Again my point really is that we can/are willing to only fight so many battles. And that we all keep trying in our own ways.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does this statement exactly mean then??
//
am talking about the disproportionately high incomes of CEOs compared to the lowest workers at least in garment factories and such...
//
they are disproportionate for a reason.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By disproportionate I mean it is ridiculously so. Of course it is disproportionate for many reasons. I assumed you would understand what I meant - and not in the literal sense - that I expect an unskilled laborer to be paid exactly the same as the CEO or the doctor to be paid the same as the janitor.
There is competition for talent and so of course the cream of the crop gets huge amounts in pay and all sorts of incentives when s/he gets hired as the CEO. But the disparity, not just between CEO and the lowest level worker, but even the CEO and the average skilled worker is huge...one can understand a disparity - but 200 - 250 times (see link below) more money than an average worker - seems very* disproportionate to me. Esp if the workers way down below are being paid pittance and often has to live below poverty lines...
http://www.epi.org/content.cfm/webfeatures_snapshots_20060621
Companies have to make profits against stiff competition...the only way to win now is to have cheap labor but a large percentage of the profits reaped go to the CEOs and top level people extremely disproportionately.
My original point was that there are injustices everywhere. In my opinion, this kind of egregious disparity (which is what I meant by disproportionate and of course we can argue over weather it really is egregious or not) in pay is an injustice to the lowest level worker. I am trying to say that we are willing to live with one kind of injustice or the other in different aspects of our lives…but that doesn’t mean one doesn’t stop trying to work towards a fair and just society as a whole – you do it in your own way say when you wrote about the blood diamonds and some other person does it in some other way…There will always be inconsistencies but people try in their own ways and every bit counts…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adding to this post instead of writing in the comment space:
Preethi – thanks for reading and for commenting. My response to your comment will be my post itself – since that is what I was writing about in the first place – that it is disproportionate and of course with reason – but that in my opinion it is egregious – the disparity. Every one knows the skill sets and responsibilities are different – if not any Tom could be the CEO of a company. It is how much more should he/she be paid that we are arguing about.
Dotmom – An average programmer makes 150K and the CEO makes 300K – not a lot – in terms of just pay – but the stock differences awarded to each are huge. You can see that the CEO is not just making twice what the programmer makes but 250 times more. You cannot compare just base pay – the stocks contribute to the egregious difference. And CEO pays are determined by boards, I agree. But who make up the boards and how do they arrive at the package?
Here’s a part of the text from Mr.Warren Buffet’s shareholder newsletter:
Buffett on compensation committees:
From 2006 shareholder letter (Page 19 of http://www.berkshirehathaway.com/letters/2006ltr.pdf):
You’ve read loads about CEOs who have received astronomical compensation for mediocre results. Much less well-advertised is the fact that America’s CEOs also generally live the good life. Many, it should be emphasized, are exceptionally able, and almost all work far more than 40 hours a week. But they are usually treated like royalty in the process. (And we’re certainly going to keep it that way at Berkshire. Though Charlie still favors sackcloth and ashes, I prefer to be spoiled rotten. Berkshire owns The Pampered Chef; our wonderful office group has made me The Pampered Chief.)
CEO perks at one company are quickly copied elsewhere. “All the other kids have one” may seem a thought too juvenile to use as a rationale in the boardroom. But consultants employ precisely this argument, phrased more elegantly of course, when they make recommendations to comp committees. Irrational and excessive comp practices will not be materially changed by disclosure or by “independent” comp committee members. Indeed, I think it’s likely that the reason I was rejected for service on so many comp committees was that I was regarded as too independent. Compensation reform
will only occur if the largest institutional shareholders – it would only take a few – demand a fresh look at the whole system. The consultants’ present drill of deftly selecting “peer” companies to compare with their clients will only perpetuate present excesses.
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From CNN:
Buffett and Munger both were scathing on the subject of executive compensation and the process of how pay is set at major corporations:
"The typical large company has a compensation committee," said Buffett. "They don't look for Dobermans on that committee, they look for chihuahuas."
He paused amid laughter, then added: "Chihuahuas that have been sedated."
Munger interjected: "I would rather throw a viper down my shirt front than hire a compensation consultant."
http://money.cnn.com/2004/05/03/pf/buffett_qanda/
I agree that the CEO deserves to be paid a lot more than an average worker in the company – he clearly has a huge responsibility. But what is the risk involved in his job? If the company fails, aside from the fall from grace, how is the CEO penalized? With a generous severance package? Check out this link about the “risks” involved in becoming a CEO.
CEO compensation is not necessarily tied to the performance of the company or adjusted as per the company’s growth anyway.
Stock prices do not slide because of CEO pay -- they slide because of drop in earnings. And a drop in earnings is not entirely because of a CEO not doing his job. Likewise, CEO is not entirely responsible for increase in earnings either.
Free markets are good and bad. Depends on which class of society you are talking to.
I feel I am able to sit in a comfortable situation and talk about its merits. But I cannot deny that there are a lot of people paying the price for my comfort and definitely that of an extremely indulgent life style for CEOs of big companies. If Walmart (or any large company for that matter) sets a price to its manufacturer in China, who in turn has to pay his laborers poorly to meet the price, who is likely to ignore environmental damage to balance costs – I am part of that system that doesn’t demand the laborer be paid more. Not as much as a top level exec to put it clearly here - but more than the pittance they get for the long hours they work. I am not out there saying that I want to pay more for my goods so that the laborer there gets more. Which was my point in the first place – that I am only willing/able to fight some battles…And we all try to contribute to a fair and healthy society in our own ways.
I finally got some uninterrupted time at 11.30pm. Too tired to write more – but we know where we stand in this issue.
Anyways – made for an interesting exchange!
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Continuing the post:
In response to your last comment:
I agree that those sorts of things – 35h weeks only etc are not sustainable in this competitive world. But all my points still stand. It is more after coming to the US that I have noticed, read and thought more about all this. Free market is good – leads to competition, quality, consumption, jobs etc etc. But free market is not really a free market - it favors the rich and powerful. It certainly does not trickle down in an ideal manner. If it was trickling down so well, then the disparity in wealth, in what kind of health care, education and retirement people can afford won’t be so wide and obvious. My point about CEO pay and how the compensation gets decided etc is to highlight this. One person gets grossly over paid irrespective of performance and the lower level workers grossly underpaid in comparison
(as GND has written in the comments here). CEO pay is not governed by free market economics. Free market is driven towards maximizing profits which doesn’t often go with protecting the environment.
How much do we - on a day to day basis - think about all this or protest what we think may be an injustice? Again my point really is that we can/are willing to only fight so many battles. And that we all keep trying in our own ways.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tag time again - A to Z
Neera tagged me to do this:
A -Available?
Not even for myself most of the time these days!
B-Best friend:
Strangely even as a child, I always said I had many close friends, but no one best friend…
C-Cake or Pie?
Cake. Definitely not Pie!
D-Drink of choice:
Hot tea with a lot of sugar!
E-Essential thing used everyday:
Sugar and Salt! If either one was not available at home, I would have to go get it right away!
F-Favourite colour:
Husband says I am only able to see one color – Red
G-Gummi bears or worms:
Neither!
H-Hometown:
Madras
I-Indulgence:
When I spend a lot in getting gifts for my favorite people…esp children. If I were really wealthy, that would be my serious indulgence.
J-January or February:
February – short month with the promise of spring….
K-Kids and names:
KB and KG
L-Life:
When I think of life, I often think of some lines by one of my favorite poets, Kaviarasu Kannadasan. It goes like this: (copy/pasted from some website)
Aasaiye alai pole,
Naamellam athan mele,
Odam pole adiduvome vaazh nalile
Paruvam ennum kaatrrile
parakkum kaathal therile
aanum pennum mahizhvar
suham peruvar - athisayam kaanpaar
Naalai ulahin paathaiyai inre
yaar kaanuvar?
Even in this lyric, Kannadasan reinforces the theme, "sorrows are credit of life, while the joys are debit, with the balance being mere dreams, and who can comprehend the arithmetic of fate?"
M-Marriage date:
January 21
N-Number of siblings:
Five
O-Oranges or apples:
Both, when in season.
P-Phobias:
No major phobias – just some dislikes…
Q-Quote:
If you want your dreams to come true, don’t sleep.
R-Reason to smile:
My children
S-Season:
Spring and Fall
T-Tag three people:
Inbavalli, Bird's eye view, 30in2005
U-Unknown fact about me:
I used to jog regularly at one point in time. I have not jogged for three years now!
V-Vegetable you do not like:
Bitter gourd, Raw tomato
W-Worst habit:
Hmm…postponing things…can’t think of any “worst” habit really…
X-x-rays you have had:
Dental, Shoulder
Y-Your favorite food:
Mom’s “Ilai Vadam”
Z-Zodiac:
Gemini
A -Available?
Not even for myself most of the time these days!
B-Best friend:
Strangely even as a child, I always said I had many close friends, but no one best friend…
C-Cake or Pie?
Cake. Definitely not Pie!
D-Drink of choice:
Hot tea with a lot of sugar!
E-Essential thing used everyday:
Sugar and Salt! If either one was not available at home, I would have to go get it right away!
F-Favourite colour:
Husband says I am only able to see one color – Red
G-Gummi bears or worms:
Neither!
H-Hometown:
Madras
I-Indulgence:
When I spend a lot in getting gifts for my favorite people…esp children. If I were really wealthy, that would be my serious indulgence.
J-January or February:
February – short month with the promise of spring….
K-Kids and names:
KB and KG
L-Life:
When I think of life, I often think of some lines by one of my favorite poets, Kaviarasu Kannadasan. It goes like this: (copy/pasted from some website)
Aasaiye alai pole,
Naamellam athan mele,
Odam pole adiduvome vaazh nalile
Paruvam ennum kaatrrile
parakkum kaathal therile
aanum pennum mahizhvar
suham peruvar - athisayam kaanpaar
Naalai ulahin paathaiyai inre
yaar kaanuvar?
Even in this lyric, Kannadasan reinforces the theme, "sorrows are credit of life, while the joys are debit, with the balance being mere dreams, and who can comprehend the arithmetic of fate?"
M-Marriage date:
January 21
N-Number of siblings:
Five
O-Oranges or apples:
Both, when in season.
P-Phobias:
No major phobias – just some dislikes…
Q-Quote:
If you want your dreams to come true, don’t sleep.
R-Reason to smile:
My children
S-Season:
Spring and Fall
T-Tag three people:
Inbavalli, Bird's eye view, 30in2005
U-Unknown fact about me:
I used to jog regularly at one point in time. I have not jogged for three years now!
V-Vegetable you do not like:
Bitter gourd, Raw tomato
W-Worst habit:
Hmm…postponing things…can’t think of any “worst” habit really…
X-x-rays you have had:
Dental, Shoulder
Y-Your favorite food:
Mom’s “Ilai Vadam”
Z-Zodiac:
Gemini
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Pot calls the kettle black!
I read to KB while giving him breakfast (Ok folks, I am not good a food training, I have to read and play music to feed him! No TV is the best I can do!). On good days, it goes smoothly and we read book after book until he is done. Some days, there are interruptions to go get him his favorite car for him to thumb on the wheels...a music CD to be changed according to his request, a sudden sneeze and splatter that requires me to get a tissue and clean up - all in the middle of giving him his cereal. I try to be patient - not because it comes naturally but because if I am impatient, it only makes matters worse. But on some days, I just cannot find it in me to be patient and I yell or lecture to him on and on about how he is now a big boy and he needs to really eat fast, eat on his own etc.
Anyways - one of the books he has been reading lately is a book called "Time for bed" - which he calls "Thaachi time" book. In it are pictures of a mother asking her daughter to go to bed, while the kid keeps delaying by asking her mother for this and that. On one page, finally when the child settles into bed, she asks her mother, "What were you like mom as a little girl? Did you like to go to bed or did you want to play instead?". This is one of KB's favorite pages. He always pauses on this page a little longer and says "Did you like to Thaachi mamma?"...
This morning, breakfast was not moving fast. He kept looking at the pictures in his books, narrating stories but the cereal was sitting tight in one corner of his mouth. After nearly half an hour of this, I began my "you should eat fast" lecture and was looking positively annoyed. I told him, "KB nee romba paduthre KB! You have to be a good boy OK!" (you are troubling mamma too much, you should be a good boy. Suddenly, he turned to me and said "Did you like to be a good boy Mamma?"!
Wow - was he really wondering? I don't know what he had in mind when he asked me that. He was just asking in the same tone with which we read that particular book. It's just that he asked me that question at the right moment! Somehow that made me stop. Yes, because I know how much I have troubled my mom about eating. And here I was telling him that he should eat fast/well and not trouble Mamma. No dear, I was not a good boy (well, girl!). But what's a mother to do?! I can't tell him to follow in my foot steps and be a picky eater! I just repeated after him and said, "Did you like to be a good boy? Yes! I liked to be a good boy!"
Anyways - one of the books he has been reading lately is a book called "Time for bed" - which he calls "Thaachi time" book. In it are pictures of a mother asking her daughter to go to bed, while the kid keeps delaying by asking her mother for this and that. On one page, finally when the child settles into bed, she asks her mother, "What were you like mom as a little girl? Did you like to go to bed or did you want to play instead?". This is one of KB's favorite pages. He always pauses on this page a little longer and says "Did you like to Thaachi mamma?"...
This morning, breakfast was not moving fast. He kept looking at the pictures in his books, narrating stories but the cereal was sitting tight in one corner of his mouth. After nearly half an hour of this, I began my "you should eat fast" lecture and was looking positively annoyed. I told him, "KB nee romba paduthre KB! You have to be a good boy OK!" (you are troubling mamma too much, you should be a good boy. Suddenly, he turned to me and said "Did you like to be a good boy Mamma?"!
Wow - was he really wondering? I don't know what he had in mind when he asked me that. He was just asking in the same tone with which we read that particular book. It's just that he asked me that question at the right moment! Somehow that made me stop. Yes, because I know how much I have troubled my mom about eating. And here I was telling him that he should eat fast/well and not trouble Mamma. No dear, I was not a good boy (well, girl!). But what's a mother to do?! I can't tell him to follow in my foot steps and be a picky eater! I just repeated after him and said, "Did you like to be a good boy? Yes! I liked to be a good boy!"
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
KB's party talk!
I took KB and KG to a Valentine's day party hosted by one of our neighbors - an elderly couple who now live alone - all their five kids are in college and one of their grand children is now KG's age...it was a party only for women and we had been asked to give a gift of love - a donation to any organization we liked.
It was interesting to see KB in this new setting - full of older white American women who only spoke English, one Iranian woman who spoke no English and could barely understand it.
KB had a small bag of banana chips in his hand and he wandered from the dining/family area (a bunch of women had gathered there to make heart shaped cookies) to the living area. Just then another guest, friend of the couple, a white woman probably in her early 50s walked in. She was very tall and KB looked up at her from way down. She looked at him said" HI! What's your name?"
As usual, he did not answer right away. He looked at her intently craning up his neck and smiled mischievously.
Suddenly he lifted his right hand all the way up and said to her "CHIPS".
And thus he broke the ice.
"Oh you are eating Chips? You like it?"
He smiled again and scampered back into the family room.
Behind the couch in the family room, in the curio cabinet, there were a set of blocks that read "B E A C H". There was another white woman, with a cherubic face and looking very pleasant, probably in her early 60s. She was sitting on the couch. KB went to her and stared at her.
She said "Hello young man, look at those large eyes"!
He immediately looks behind her and starts reading out to her
" B E A C H"...
"Oh, that's right. Do you know what it means? Do you like going to the beach?".
He ignores her comment and says: "B'ku Baa Baa Black Sheep Varum" (For B, the song Baa Baa black sheep comes).
And then goes on to quickly list a whole bunch of other songs from his favorite CD in his Indian accent.
The woman had no idea what he was saying and I told her what he was saying. She laughed and said, Yeah...
And then he suddenly went into the lyrics of one of the songs and said to her:
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed".
"Oh yeah, no more monkeys jumping on the bed, that's right!".
He abruptly shifts gear and says to her "Andha Vaporizer not working" (That Vaporizer is not working! He said that because the previous day I took him along to Target to return the vaporizer I had purchased since it did not work well for us).
Again, she had no clue what he was saying. But somehow he got the sense that she did not understand Tamil and said to her again randomly "I want to go with school" (meaning I went to school - since I had taken him and KG to tour one of the schools).
Before she could respond, he starts singing the whole ABC song to her!
All this with someone he had never met! Somehow he managed to have some conversation with her for some 15 min! It was so cute to watch from behind - the old woman and this little two year old who did not really have a common language having a conversation for that long!
It was interesting to see KB in this new setting - full of older white American women who only spoke English, one Iranian woman who spoke no English and could barely understand it.
KB had a small bag of banana chips in his hand and he wandered from the dining/family area (a bunch of women had gathered there to make heart shaped cookies) to the living area. Just then another guest, friend of the couple, a white woman probably in her early 50s walked in. She was very tall and KB looked up at her from way down. She looked at him said" HI! What's your name?"
As usual, he did not answer right away. He looked at her intently craning up his neck and smiled mischievously.
Suddenly he lifted his right hand all the way up and said to her "CHIPS".
And thus he broke the ice.
"Oh you are eating Chips? You like it?"
He smiled again and scampered back into the family room.
Behind the couch in the family room, in the curio cabinet, there were a set of blocks that read "B E A C H". There was another white woman, with a cherubic face and looking very pleasant, probably in her early 60s. She was sitting on the couch. KB went to her and stared at her.
She said "Hello young man, look at those large eyes"!
He immediately looks behind her and starts reading out to her
" B E A C H"...
"Oh, that's right. Do you know what it means? Do you like going to the beach?".
He ignores her comment and says: "B'ku Baa Baa Black Sheep Varum" (For B, the song Baa Baa black sheep comes).
And then goes on to quickly list a whole bunch of other songs from his favorite CD in his Indian accent.
The woman had no idea what he was saying and I told her what he was saying. She laughed and said, Yeah...
And then he suddenly went into the lyrics of one of the songs and said to her:
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed".
"Oh yeah, no more monkeys jumping on the bed, that's right!".
He abruptly shifts gear and says to her "Andha Vaporizer not working" (That Vaporizer is not working! He said that because the previous day I took him along to Target to return the vaporizer I had purchased since it did not work well for us).
Again, she had no clue what he was saying. But somehow he got the sense that she did not understand Tamil and said to her again randomly "I want to go with school" (meaning I went to school - since I had taken him and KG to tour one of the schools).
Before she could respond, he starts singing the whole ABC song to her!
All this with someone he had never met! Somehow he managed to have some conversation with her for some 15 min! It was so cute to watch from behind - the old woman and this little two year old who did not really have a common language having a conversation for that long!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Here we go again!
Hello all,
This is baby girl - am back again! I was not pleased with mom for deleting the post about my dear brother - since she hardly posts any updates on him as it is. And even if she writes about him, it's hardly in positive light - always ranting about his "meal time battles"! As she was thinking about this while giving me my food this morning, I shouted one loud "Ahhhhn" and told her in no uncertain terms that she ought to just post it again. Like Poppin's mom said wisely, "the cold IS the anti-jinx". I am making sure that my post about my brother sees the light of the day and also I found out that anyway some people read it on google reader - so what's the problem mom!
Tata for now!
Oh, here's the post!
Love to my little friends from baby girl!
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My brother is now 2.5 yrs old!
Hello All! With all the encouragement and cheers I received the last time I spoke, I was inspired to do it again. Except this time, I want to give an update on my brother who turns 2.5 yrs old on Feb.3.08. My mom seems hopeless with posting regular updates about us and my brother – oh boy – he will run far away if I asked him to talk about himself. It looks to me like I am going to become the spokesperson for this family at the going rate! Also, please pardon, I can’t write about him without also writing about myself a little since we are always together.
So mom has already raved about how my brother has started eating better – hah hah, hats off to me since she thinks I had a role in this! But I honestly think my brother deserves more credit. He really is a very sensitive and sweet kid and he really knows when he has pushed mom to her limits and responds to it. You should see him when mom and dad are fighting – those two minutes when they are in the thick of their arguments – they are so loud – I feel like telling them to “sush” a little – but hey, I like to shout and cry loudly myself on occasion – so I just let it be. Anyway – when they are yelling at each other, my sweet, barely 2.5 yr old brother, intervenes and says “Daddy, Mamma’va kochi pannadhe…Mamma, Daddy’ve kochi pannadhe!” (Daddy, don’t get mad at mamma). And especially if my mom looks sad, he just runs to her and hugs her legs and says, “KB wants to hug mamma”! And that’s it, she immediately turns liquid! But mom won’t let it pass. In her irritated mood, she will turn to my dad and say, “See, your son is so sweet and loving” – read, you are not! Gosh, why do adults fight so much?! Especially when they have such, ahem, awesome kids like my brother and myself!
Oh speaking of loving etc – a lot of people, including dad, tell my mom that she has a bit of soft corner for my brother over me. I am not too bothered by this – hey, I am the daughter, I know for sure mom’s going to have a different kind of, but equally strong bond with me. Mom just feels bad for my brother because he is so nice overall. She is one of those – if someone is nice, she just melts and feels bad for them.
My brother will be joining preschool probably in July or Aug of this year. I will miss him those 3-4 hours he will not be home. The three of us – mom, my brother and myself are always together all the time pretty much until dad comes home – by when I am fast asleep anyway. But it may be fun to have mom to myself for sometime I think. My mom worries more about how he will cope with kids who are much bigger than him and are more aggressive than him. She recently went to meet a playgroup in the park and saw that the kids there were all quite aggressive in the slide and the see-saw. My brother loves people watching and when he sees a bunch of kids in a group moving fast and pushing etc, he just amuses himself by sitting back and watching. My mother, the worry worm that she is, thinks may be he is scared and that’s why he is sitting back and watching them. My brother is really one of those “thinking” types – he spaces out and opens his already big eyes wide and stares into space and thinks god knows about what. He just likes to sit, watch and drift off into his thoughts. Mom needn’t worry so much about all this! When kids come home, he is very friendly and shares his toys. Only on occasion if some kid grabs something he is playing with at that moment, he really insists that it be given back to him. He loves it when people visit us and is quite friendly – of course you all know that still doesn’t mean he will let them get too close to him too soon. A couple of days stay and then he is OK if they carry him a little or take him to the park behind our house.
Another change in my brother in the last couple of months – he never used to like story books. But these days he enjoys books like “Goodnight Moon”, “Goodnight Gorilla” and “Biscuit” books. He loves the “Wonder books” series from the public library. Mom makes up little stories from the pictures on each page. He loves fables and mom twists the old “kaka story” about the crow who drank water by talking about how the crow first sat in the tree in our back yard and then mentions all our friends and then goes on to tell him how the crow managed to get water to quench his thirst…and then suddenly it was night time and the “Stireet light” (as my brother says) turned on and so the kaka had to go home, eat “mum mum” and “thaachi” (sleep). My mother can’t help but weave in this whole mum mum thing whenever she gets a chance. She says to him, “Appram yenna pannithu kaka, chamatha mum mum saatutu, thachi panna poidthu” (Kaka ate his meal well and went to bed).
My brother also loves “Dasharatha story” – somehow it is established that only dad reads Amar chitra katha to him. Dad is really good at this – he is so dramatic and really brings it down to a level my brother can somewhat understand. My brother also loves “Calvin and Hobbes”. He makes mom read it to him every now and then during his meals. When dad gets home from work, he will get excited and will want to say something to him immediately. And just abruptly, as soon as dad enters the house, he will tell him “Suzie Calvin’a kochi pannithu. Snow ball thooki pottudhu Calvin”. (Calvin got mad at Suzie for throwing a snow ball at him).
Oh speaking of books, the other day my brother read this book called “Max goes to the barber” with my mom. (The lady who cut my brother’s hair decided to change profession after that – he just brought the roof down!). And the day she got the book from the library, they must have read it some 10 times. My brother knows all the alphabets in upper case and about 18 of them in lower case. He gets confused between “b”, “d”, “p” and also “g”, “h” and “q”. “q” he says is “small “p”. Anyway – mom really doesn’t worry about teaching him alphabets etc. She just casually reads these “Elmo’s favorite letter” type books to him but he now seems to enjoy pointing to all the different alphabets. Back to “Max the barber”. After mom read the book to him, he closed it and he pointed to the title and said “M, A, X - Max” and mom got all excited that he read it on his own and immediately called up dad and said “B, you know what, KB read “Max” on his own! My God, I thought that was a bit too much. First of all, it’s just one word! And secondly, she read it to him so many times, obviously he will know it is “Max”. Anyway – parents are a different breed altogether looks like! They just make a big deal of every thing we kids do!
Ok, I thought I was good at talking about myself. Looks like, I enjoy talking even more about my brother. I forgot to mention his obsessive streak. If he likes something, it is an obsession always. For example, my mom’s cousin got him this really annoying (but boys seem to love it) “weazel ball”.
Mom could not stand the sight of that rodent rolling all over the house, so she threw it out but kept the motorized ball, which is actually very cool toy. You won’t believe how many days it just went on and on in our house. He would wake up in the morning and ask for this ball! He would wake from his nap and ask for it! The ball was getting on my mom and dad’s nerves, but the delight on his face when they gave it to him – he used to chuckle with joy when the ball rolled under his bed and made noises and then came out on it’s own. He was mad about this ball.
For my brother, if something is broken, he will immediately throw it in the trash if it is not fixed. Perfect or else throw it out. For ex – he just loves this “Surya car” (he got it at Surya’s party). I mean he just loves** this car – always turning it’s wheels with his thumbs, opening and closing it’s doors etc. The other day, he noticed the tail light had fallen off - his sense of order was so disturbed, in an instant, he told mom “Trash’le podu”. She could not believe it – a car that he loved so much, how is he able to part with it so easily! Complete detachment! My parents are crazy – they felt so bad about him parting with that car – dad went and got “Super glue” from “Target” that same night and fixed the light back on this toy car! My brother needless to say was super thrilled!
His obsession with music – some music is always playing in the background at our place. Surely so, when we go in the car. And he decides what music. He picks CDs from my parent’s CD rack and asks mom to play things randomly. The other day, he brought to her a “Leonard Cohen” CD and asked her to play it. Mom thought he would surely ask her to turn it off soon after the first song. But when mom was recording our antics on video camera and the music was playing in the background, he told mom, “Uncle romba nanna padarar” (Uncle sings so well)! Wait till my uncle, who is a die hard carnatic music fan sees this video! He will ask my mom why she is playing such “random music” for her children!
Ok folks. I better stop here. I have gone on way too long here. I feel my mom rarely writes updates and this will be good for her to look at a few years from now. So tried to talk about all that came to my mind while writing this. I love my dear brother! Happy half year birthday, my sweet brother!
This is baby girl - am back again! I was not pleased with mom for deleting the post about my dear brother - since she hardly posts any updates on him as it is. And even if she writes about him, it's hardly in positive light - always ranting about his "meal time battles"! As she was thinking about this while giving me my food this morning, I shouted one loud "Ahhhhn" and told her in no uncertain terms that she ought to just post it again. Like Poppin's mom said wisely, "the cold IS the anti-jinx". I am making sure that my post about my brother sees the light of the day and also I found out that anyway some people read it on google reader - so what's the problem mom!
Tata for now!
Oh, here's the post!
Love to my little friends from baby girl!
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My brother is now 2.5 yrs old!
Hello All! With all the encouragement and cheers I received the last time I spoke, I was inspired to do it again. Except this time, I want to give an update on my brother who turns 2.5 yrs old on Feb.3.08. My mom seems hopeless with posting regular updates about us and my brother – oh boy – he will run far away if I asked him to talk about himself. It looks to me like I am going to become the spokesperson for this family at the going rate! Also, please pardon, I can’t write about him without also writing about myself a little since we are always together.
So mom has already raved about how my brother has started eating better – hah hah, hats off to me since she thinks I had a role in this! But I honestly think my brother deserves more credit. He really is a very sensitive and sweet kid and he really knows when he has pushed mom to her limits and responds to it. You should see him when mom and dad are fighting – those two minutes when they are in the thick of their arguments – they are so loud – I feel like telling them to “sush” a little – but hey, I like to shout and cry loudly myself on occasion – so I just let it be. Anyway – when they are yelling at each other, my sweet, barely 2.5 yr old brother, intervenes and says “Daddy, Mamma’va kochi pannadhe…Mamma, Daddy’ve kochi pannadhe!” (Daddy, don’t get mad at mamma). And especially if my mom looks sad, he just runs to her and hugs her legs and says, “KB wants to hug mamma”! And that’s it, she immediately turns liquid! But mom won’t let it pass. In her irritated mood, she will turn to my dad and say, “See, your son is so sweet and loving” – read, you are not! Gosh, why do adults fight so much?! Especially when they have such, ahem, awesome kids like my brother and myself!
Oh speaking of loving etc – a lot of people, including dad, tell my mom that she has a bit of soft corner for my brother over me. I am not too bothered by this – hey, I am the daughter, I know for sure mom’s going to have a different kind of, but equally strong bond with me. Mom just feels bad for my brother because he is so nice overall. She is one of those – if someone is nice, she just melts and feels bad for them.
My brother will be joining preschool probably in July or Aug of this year. I will miss him those 3-4 hours he will not be home. The three of us – mom, my brother and myself are always together all the time pretty much until dad comes home – by when I am fast asleep anyway. But it may be fun to have mom to myself for sometime I think. My mom worries more about how he will cope with kids who are much bigger than him and are more aggressive than him. She recently went to meet a playgroup in the park and saw that the kids there were all quite aggressive in the slide and the see-saw. My brother loves people watching and when he sees a bunch of kids in a group moving fast and pushing etc, he just amuses himself by sitting back and watching. My mother, the worry worm that she is, thinks may be he is scared and that’s why he is sitting back and watching them. My brother is really one of those “thinking” types – he spaces out and opens his already big eyes wide and stares into space and thinks god knows about what. He just likes to sit, watch and drift off into his thoughts. Mom needn’t worry so much about all this! When kids come home, he is very friendly and shares his toys. Only on occasion if some kid grabs something he is playing with at that moment, he really insists that it be given back to him. He loves it when people visit us and is quite friendly – of course you all know that still doesn’t mean he will let them get too close to him too soon. A couple of days stay and then he is OK if they carry him a little or take him to the park behind our house.
Another change in my brother in the last couple of months – he never used to like story books. But these days he enjoys books like “Goodnight Moon”, “Goodnight Gorilla” and “Biscuit” books. He loves the “Wonder books” series from the public library. Mom makes up little stories from the pictures on each page. He loves fables and mom twists the old “kaka story” about the crow who drank water by talking about how the crow first sat in the tree in our back yard and then mentions all our friends and then goes on to tell him how the crow managed to get water to quench his thirst…and then suddenly it was night time and the “Stireet light” (as my brother says) turned on and so the kaka had to go home, eat “mum mum” and “thaachi” (sleep). My mother can’t help but weave in this whole mum mum thing whenever she gets a chance. She says to him, “Appram yenna pannithu kaka, chamatha mum mum saatutu, thachi panna poidthu” (Kaka ate his meal well and went to bed).
My brother also loves “Dasharatha story” – somehow it is established that only dad reads Amar chitra katha to him. Dad is really good at this – he is so dramatic and really brings it down to a level my brother can somewhat understand. My brother also loves “Calvin and Hobbes”. He makes mom read it to him every now and then during his meals. When dad gets home from work, he will get excited and will want to say something to him immediately. And just abruptly, as soon as dad enters the house, he will tell him “Suzie Calvin’a kochi pannithu. Snow ball thooki pottudhu Calvin”. (Calvin got mad at Suzie for throwing a snow ball at him).
Oh speaking of books, the other day my brother read this book called “Max goes to the barber” with my mom. (The lady who cut my brother’s hair decided to change profession after that – he just brought the roof down!). And the day she got the book from the library, they must have read it some 10 times. My brother knows all the alphabets in upper case and about 18 of them in lower case. He gets confused between “b”, “d”, “p” and also “g”, “h” and “q”. “q” he says is “small “p”. Anyway – mom really doesn’t worry about teaching him alphabets etc. She just casually reads these “Elmo’s favorite letter” type books to him but he now seems to enjoy pointing to all the different alphabets. Back to “Max the barber”. After mom read the book to him, he closed it and he pointed to the title and said “M, A, X - Max” and mom got all excited that he read it on his own and immediately called up dad and said “B, you know what, KB read “Max” on his own! My God, I thought that was a bit too much. First of all, it’s just one word! And secondly, she read it to him so many times, obviously he will know it is “Max”. Anyway – parents are a different breed altogether looks like! They just make a big deal of every thing we kids do!
Ok, I thought I was good at talking about myself. Looks like, I enjoy talking even more about my brother. I forgot to mention his obsessive streak. If he likes something, it is an obsession always. For example, my mom’s cousin got him this really annoying (but boys seem to love it) “weazel ball”.
Mom could not stand the sight of that rodent rolling all over the house, so she threw it out but kept the motorized ball, which is actually very cool toy. You won’t believe how many days it just went on and on in our house. He would wake up in the morning and ask for this ball! He would wake from his nap and ask for it! The ball was getting on my mom and dad’s nerves, but the delight on his face when they gave it to him – he used to chuckle with joy when the ball rolled under his bed and made noises and then came out on it’s own. He was mad about this ball.
For my brother, if something is broken, he will immediately throw it in the trash if it is not fixed. Perfect or else throw it out. For ex – he just loves this “Surya car” (he got it at Surya’s party). I mean he just loves** this car – always turning it’s wheels with his thumbs, opening and closing it’s doors etc. The other day, he noticed the tail light had fallen off - his sense of order was so disturbed, in an instant, he told mom “Trash’le podu”. She could not believe it – a car that he loved so much, how is he able to part with it so easily! Complete detachment! My parents are crazy – they felt so bad about him parting with that car – dad went and got “Super glue” from “Target” that same night and fixed the light back on this toy car! My brother needless to say was super thrilled!
His obsession with music – some music is always playing in the background at our place. Surely so, when we go in the car. And he decides what music. He picks CDs from my parent’s CD rack and asks mom to play things randomly. The other day, he brought to her a “Leonard Cohen” CD and asked her to play it. Mom thought he would surely ask her to turn it off soon after the first song. But when mom was recording our antics on video camera and the music was playing in the background, he told mom, “Uncle romba nanna padarar” (Uncle sings so well)! Wait till my uncle, who is a die hard carnatic music fan sees this video! He will ask my mom why she is playing such “random music” for her children!
Ok folks. I better stop here. I have gone on way too long here. I feel my mom rarely writes updates and this will be good for her to look at a few years from now. So tried to talk about all that came to my mind while writing this. I love my dear brother! Happy half year birthday, my sweet brother!
Saturday, February 09, 2008
On being blessed...
There are some moments in the day when you feel a sense of contentment and an overall good feeling. To me, one such trivial (non-trivial personally) moment each day is when I make both kids take their afternoon nap and run downstairs and make tea for myself. I come back to the study (these days KB sleeps in the study on the pull out Elmo couch) and take that first sip of hot tea as I begin to check my mail and then read a few blog posts before either child wakes up from his/her usual restlessness. That moment is one of satisfaction – at having completed the duties of that day so far, a load off the back that once the nap time is done, the rest of the day should be more easy and manageable. It is a moment of pleasure – to have the luxury of time, however little, to sit in the company of your children, yet have that moment to yourself…to feel connected to friends through email…to be able to enjoy reading something well written (when I read some blog posts) while sipping a cup of hot tea….to sit in a warm and cozy room on a cold day….it just feels good overall. I feel that same joy multiplied every night when I go to bed (usually the last person to do so) and feel connected in that physical space – the four of us, together, feeling warm and resting for the night. I never linger much on that thought – I just immediately thank the creator for that feeling…for that blessing.
Yesterday, as I sat down to have my tea, I was reading an article in National Geographic on the migration of illegal immigrants from Central America to Mexico and then to the United States. I quote here a part of that essay:
“Before the Lópezes left Managua, they had heard the counsel repeated now in certain poor neighborhoods of Central America: If you are leaving for El Norte, find Padre Flor Maria Rigoni in the city of Tapachula, 20 miles north of the border, because the first dangerous crossing you will make is not the one that takes you into the United States. It is at the southern Mexican border where the perils begin—the thugs, the drug runners, the extortionists in official uniforms, the police and migration agents who pack undocumented migrants into detention facilities before forcing them onto buses to be deported. The Tapachula migration station was recently rebuilt, to hold 960 migrants and process them more quickly; the southward-bound buses roll out every morning before dawn.
The Lópezes rode for hours in the 90-degree heat, Jessenia standing on blocks attached to both sides of the bicycle’s rear wheel. She carried her shopping bag in the crook of her arm and kept her hands on Armando’s shoulders as he pedaled, avoiding migration checkpoints by veering at intervals off the pavement and onto dirt paths. They had remarkably good luck. No one assaulted them with machetes or rifles or handmade pistols fashioned from PVC pipes stuffed with gunpowder; no one beat Armando and dragged Jessenia into the weeds; no one forced them to undress so that their body cavities and secret sewn-in clothing pockets could be examined for hidden money. No passing taxi driver decided to collect a payoff that day by alerting muggers or immigration officials that a vulnerable-looking couple was approaching on the road.”
I read such stories and I wonder about them later. Did they make it to the USA? Did they manage to get their two-year old child to join them? As I sit down and feel that opposing force pulling me to complain about all that I don’t have – I ponder about such people who have to toil and risk their lives in the hope of a better life for their children. I have to remind myself constantly that I am blessed in many ways. I am grateful for everything, from the most trivial like my hot tea to the bigger blessings – my children, my husband and family. I shudder to think of this balance in my life being disturbed in anyway. If I put myself in the shoes of the people mentioned in this article, I feel a shiver run down my spine. There are people suffering far worse and there are people who cruise through life without any problems what so ever. We will never figure out the rhythm to the dance of destiny and why people go through what they go through. The only thing I can do is to acknowledge all the blessings I have, and in some sense a lot of the people around me have. I can only wish for life to be good to those who have been very unfortunate in many ways and pray for them. It is this train of thought that made me pass on the blessings to the many unknown people I read about and wish for them a better life….and to all of you who do happen to read this post.
P.S - Lavs, this is in response to your "Blessings" tag by the way. Thanks again!
Yesterday, as I sat down to have my tea, I was reading an article in National Geographic on the migration of illegal immigrants from Central America to Mexico and then to the United States. I quote here a part of that essay:
“Before the Lópezes left Managua, they had heard the counsel repeated now in certain poor neighborhoods of Central America: If you are leaving for El Norte, find Padre Flor Maria Rigoni in the city of Tapachula, 20 miles north of the border, because the first dangerous crossing you will make is not the one that takes you into the United States. It is at the southern Mexican border where the perils begin—the thugs, the drug runners, the extortionists in official uniforms, the police and migration agents who pack undocumented migrants into detention facilities before forcing them onto buses to be deported. The Tapachula migration station was recently rebuilt, to hold 960 migrants and process them more quickly; the southward-bound buses roll out every morning before dawn.
The Lópezes rode for hours in the 90-degree heat, Jessenia standing on blocks attached to both sides of the bicycle’s rear wheel. She carried her shopping bag in the crook of her arm and kept her hands on Armando’s shoulders as he pedaled, avoiding migration checkpoints by veering at intervals off the pavement and onto dirt paths. They had remarkably good luck. No one assaulted them with machetes or rifles or handmade pistols fashioned from PVC pipes stuffed with gunpowder; no one beat Armando and dragged Jessenia into the weeds; no one forced them to undress so that their body cavities and secret sewn-in clothing pockets could be examined for hidden money. No passing taxi driver decided to collect a payoff that day by alerting muggers or immigration officials that a vulnerable-looking couple was approaching on the road.”
I read such stories and I wonder about them later. Did they make it to the USA? Did they manage to get their two-year old child to join them? As I sit down and feel that opposing force pulling me to complain about all that I don’t have – I ponder about such people who have to toil and risk their lives in the hope of a better life for their children. I have to remind myself constantly that I am blessed in many ways. I am grateful for everything, from the most trivial like my hot tea to the bigger blessings – my children, my husband and family. I shudder to think of this balance in my life being disturbed in anyway. If I put myself in the shoes of the people mentioned in this article, I feel a shiver run down my spine. There are people suffering far worse and there are people who cruise through life without any problems what so ever. We will never figure out the rhythm to the dance of destiny and why people go through what they go through. The only thing I can do is to acknowledge all the blessings I have, and in some sense a lot of the people around me have. I can only wish for life to be good to those who have been very unfortunate in many ways and pray for them. It is this train of thought that made me pass on the blessings to the many unknown people I read about and wish for them a better life….and to all of you who do happen to read this post.
P.S - Lavs, this is in response to your "Blessings" tag by the way. Thanks again!
Friday, February 08, 2008
KB snippets
KB woke up from his nap the other day and came downstairs with me. He ran to the dining table and got the pile of books and brought them all to the couch patiently carrying them couple at a time...He had woken up in a good mood and gave me a sweet smile and said "Mamma, I want to read books".
I told him that we can read, but first he has to tell me what he wanted to eat...
"Book padikalam, but first nee sollu, Yenna sapadre? Bagel and cream cheese? Mac n Cheese? Waffle?" (We will read, but first tell me what do you want to eat?).
He turns towards me, thinks and pauses...he opens his mouth points towards the toaster (behind that wall is the living room with the couch and the books) and says:
"I want to..."
And I thought to myself "Oh wow, he is thinking about it and making a choice from these items"...
"I want to...read book!".
I laughed at the way he gave me hope (unintentionally) and said this so softly.
And I said "Seri, first tell me what do you want to eat? Bagel Sapadraya?"
KB quietly replied in his Tanglish "I am going to..close vai" (I am going to close mouth!).
End of story. I just gave him milk and read to him while he drank his milk!
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Among the pile of books, his current top favorite is "Firefighter". It is a great first level reader book. Just one word on each page.
KB loves the dramatic rescue of the kitty cat in this book. Though it has only one word in each page, this is the book he first wants to read - it gives him room to imagine, recreate and talk about it in his own words. With animated expression, he tells me what is going on in each page. Especially when it gets to the fire hydrant page, he is all excited and says "Fire hydrant'le pliers pottu, screw driver pottu, thorandhu, hose connect panni...bzzzz....bzzzz...water fire mele pottu...F...irr...ee offf!", he finishes off in sing song tone! (They will use the plier and screw-driver and connect the hose to the hydrant and throw water on the fire and turn it off).
I plan to get more such one word per page books. He also loves the one line per page "Wonder books". Will post about them later.
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I told him that we can read, but first he has to tell me what he wanted to eat...
"Book padikalam, but first nee sollu, Yenna sapadre? Bagel and cream cheese? Mac n Cheese? Waffle?" (We will read, but first tell me what do you want to eat?).
He turns towards me, thinks and pauses...he opens his mouth points towards the toaster (behind that wall is the living room with the couch and the books) and says:
"I want to..."
And I thought to myself "Oh wow, he is thinking about it and making a choice from these items"...
"I want to...read book!".
I laughed at the way he gave me hope (unintentionally) and said this so softly.
And I said "Seri, first tell me what do you want to eat? Bagel Sapadraya?"
KB quietly replied in his Tanglish "I am going to..close vai" (I am going to close mouth!).
End of story. I just gave him milk and read to him while he drank his milk!
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Among the pile of books, his current top favorite is "Firefighter". It is a great first level reader book. Just one word on each page.
KB loves the dramatic rescue of the kitty cat in this book. Though it has only one word in each page, this is the book he first wants to read - it gives him room to imagine, recreate and talk about it in his own words. With animated expression, he tells me what is going on in each page. Especially when it gets to the fire hydrant page, he is all excited and says "Fire hydrant'le pliers pottu, screw driver pottu, thorandhu, hose connect panni...bzzzz....bzzzz...water fire mele pottu...F...irr...ee offf!", he finishes off in sing song tone! (They will use the plier and screw-driver and connect the hose to the hydrant and throw water on the fire and turn it off).
I plan to get more such one word per page books. He also loves the one line per page "Wonder books". Will post about them later.
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Wondernoon - Cliffsnotes
I suppose the title in itself reflects the narcissism at play here! Well, this tag is supposed to be a quick guide to the person who hasn't known you for long and a reminder of why they do come back to read you - for those who are regulars at your blog. TAAmommy, my new blog pal, has tagged me. The rules of the tag:
Rules For The Tag
Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
I hardly go back to read my own posts. This gave me reason to look at a few posts again - it brought back memories of the time during which I wrote them....of the people I wrote about...
Family: Two posts came to mind when I thought of "family" posts. Here is one about my father and the other about the four of us at home here.
Friend: This is a post about my recent trip with both my kids and how my friend and his wife (also my friend!) were so warm and helpful...
Yourself: This is me - a true Geminian - extrovert, silly, laughs a lot - one side of me...introvert, introspective, self-deprecatory, restless, wonders about life/people a lot...
your love: The tag that brought on a host of interesting love stories that I thoroughly enjoyed and also resulted in some spin off clubs called the Green sulk club etc! Oh well, here's my love story!
Anything you like: I love music, love dreaming of being able to sing like a concert musician and I enjoy creativity of any sort - music, writing, sewing... I also love to write...somehow this story that I wrote in my early blogging days is a reflection of all that.
OK I tag now:
DDmom (no excuses!)
Aryans mom
Cantaloupe
And my new blog pals:
Lavs
Neera
Choxbox
Sumana
Rules For The Tag
Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
I hardly go back to read my own posts. This gave me reason to look at a few posts again - it brought back memories of the time during which I wrote them....of the people I wrote about...
Family: Two posts came to mind when I thought of "family" posts. Here is one about my father and the other about the four of us at home here.
Friend: This is a post about my recent trip with both my kids and how my friend and his wife (also my friend!) were so warm and helpful...
Yourself: This is me - a true Geminian - extrovert, silly, laughs a lot - one side of me...introvert, introspective, self-deprecatory, restless, wonders about life/people a lot...
your love: The tag that brought on a host of interesting love stories that I thoroughly enjoyed and also resulted in some spin off clubs called the Green sulk club etc! Oh well, here's my love story!
Anything you like: I love music, love dreaming of being able to sing like a concert musician and I enjoy creativity of any sort - music, writing, sewing... I also love to write...somehow this story that I wrote in my early blogging days is a reflection of all that.
OK I tag now:
DDmom (no excuses!)
Aryans mom
Cantaloupe
And my new blog pals:
Lavs
Neera
Choxbox
Sumana
Monday, February 04, 2008
I knew it!
I picked up a loud speaker and announced to the entire world as to how KB has started eating better and how this is the first break through in his eating in the two years I have given him solid food. I am normally one to be afraid to even acknowledge such things to myself let alone say it so loudly! Well, I do say things loudly even if I am bit nervous about jinxing things myself. Nothing like a mother's own "nazar" for her child, as they say! Most often, when I feel excited, something goes wrong and brings me down to earth.
KB turned 2.5 years old on Feb.3.08 and I was quite excited about this half year birthday even more than I was when he turned two. May be because I was still reeling in the excitement of how really grown up he seemed in just the last one month...he is (was) eating better...he is able to express emotions at a different level than just crying...he talks and communicates a lot more than when he turned two...I am (finally) thinking about potty training him soon (OK you moms in India who potty train your kids when they are crawling - skip this line and move on!)...I am beginning to look for preschools for him...he is able to read letters and is able to relate to stories well and tell them back to us later...so many changes in him now more than when he turned two. Not that I consciously thought about it - but somehow I was quite excited about it. I didn't plan any party - I was thinking about trying the eggless cake (recipe from dotmom) if I had time or just buy a cake and have my close friend and her son (who is KB's friend) come over after dinner and just have a good time for an hour or so. That was my plan on Friday evening.
I wrote a 2.5yr update for KB - well, baby girl wrote it - I posted it on Friday night. Saturday evening, we took KB to the play area in the mall. It had rained on Saturday and after we got back home KB had a full blown cold. He threw up the moment I gave him a spoonful of food. He then asked me to give him Mac n Cheese - I gave it to him - he had a few spoons of the macroni and didn't want anymore. Pretty much he ate nothing for dinner. He went to bed hungry, nose stuffed up and kept tossing and turning - I was afraid he would throw up, so I made him sleep next to us and made sure he had a blanket over him and I kept his head raised. I had very little sleep on Sat night. Yesterday, he thankfully ate OK for lunch. But same story for dinner.
He threw up the moment I gave him any food. Tried a bunch of things and gave up. He skipped breakfast this morning. He only wanted to drink Gatorade - I just gave him what he asked for - as long as he got some fluids in I was happy. In essence, I jinxed the whole thing! I was not in a celebratory mood on Sat night what with KB looking tired with hunger and not being able to breathe comfortably...I just deleted my long post about his 2.5 yr update! It had links to some his favorite books, toys and what not. Sorry baby girl - you wrote about your brother - I took the liberty to delete that post!
He insisted he will only eat bagel today - Murphy's law - we ran out of bagels at home! I wanted him to get some solid food in - so took both kids to the bagel shop and he ate half a bagel - just the bread part, no crust below. Thankfully baby girl had a good time too looking around. But I had to stop at half a bagel and bring them home because she was sleepy. Once we got home, KB didn't want to eat any more bagel.
It's just a cold, nothing big I know - but he hasn't had a real cold/throwing up etc since last Feb - so I was nervous how I will handle it if he were to be cranky all day and I had to attend to baby girl also. So far they are being good..hopefully he will resume normal eating soon. Dotmom, I should have used your nimbu anti jinx graphic when I even mentally thought to myself that he is eating better and that somehow we managed to escape the "cold" for one year!
KB turned 2.5 years old on Feb.3.08 and I was quite excited about this half year birthday even more than I was when he turned two. May be because I was still reeling in the excitement of how really grown up he seemed in just the last one month...he is (was) eating better...he is able to express emotions at a different level than just crying...he talks and communicates a lot more than when he turned two...I am (finally) thinking about potty training him soon (OK you moms in India who potty train your kids when they are crawling - skip this line and move on!)...I am beginning to look for preschools for him...he is able to read letters and is able to relate to stories well and tell them back to us later...so many changes in him now more than when he turned two. Not that I consciously thought about it - but somehow I was quite excited about it. I didn't plan any party - I was thinking about trying the eggless cake (recipe from dotmom) if I had time or just buy a cake and have my close friend and her son (who is KB's friend) come over after dinner and just have a good time for an hour or so. That was my plan on Friday evening.
I wrote a 2.5yr update for KB - well, baby girl wrote it - I posted it on Friday night. Saturday evening, we took KB to the play area in the mall. It had rained on Saturday and after we got back home KB had a full blown cold. He threw up the moment I gave him a spoonful of food. He then asked me to give him Mac n Cheese - I gave it to him - he had a few spoons of the macroni and didn't want anymore. Pretty much he ate nothing for dinner. He went to bed hungry, nose stuffed up and kept tossing and turning - I was afraid he would throw up, so I made him sleep next to us and made sure he had a blanket over him and I kept his head raised. I had very little sleep on Sat night. Yesterday, he thankfully ate OK for lunch. But same story for dinner.
He threw up the moment I gave him any food. Tried a bunch of things and gave up. He skipped breakfast this morning. He only wanted to drink Gatorade - I just gave him what he asked for - as long as he got some fluids in I was happy. In essence, I jinxed the whole thing! I was not in a celebratory mood on Sat night what with KB looking tired with hunger and not being able to breathe comfortably...I just deleted my long post about his 2.5 yr update! It had links to some his favorite books, toys and what not. Sorry baby girl - you wrote about your brother - I took the liberty to delete that post!
He insisted he will only eat bagel today - Murphy's law - we ran out of bagels at home! I wanted him to get some solid food in - so took both kids to the bagel shop and he ate half a bagel - just the bread part, no crust below. Thankfully baby girl had a good time too looking around. But I had to stop at half a bagel and bring them home because she was sleepy. Once we got home, KB didn't want to eat any more bagel.
It's just a cold, nothing big I know - but he hasn't had a real cold/throwing up etc since last Feb - so I was nervous how I will handle it if he were to be cranky all day and I had to attend to baby girl also. So far they are being good..hopefully he will resume normal eating soon. Dotmom, I should have used your nimbu anti jinx graphic when I even mentally thought to myself that he is eating better and that somehow we managed to escape the "cold" for one year!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
From 60 to 50 to 45 to 27!
That is the number of minutes to give my dear son his meal!
KB and I have gone through some kind of learning process together in the last two weeks! He has been a difficult eater - mostly because he is extremely slow...plus he loves to read or talk about some story or sing some song while having food in his mouth. Two other things - he used to open his mouth just a tiny bit for each spoon and he really (even now) cannot ingest too much food at once or he tends to gag. I have a very strong gag reflex to (as commented upon by my dentist, that it is stronger than he has seen in most people) and he is the same way. So if I try to shove more food than he is comfortable with, he just pukes it out. In all, this has been a battle of sorts for both me and KB. It wasn't as much of a problem before baby girl arrived - I would grit and bear and sit through what ever time it took to feed him. Now I am less patient and also have less time. And I also have baby girl who is spoiling me with her amazing - zip, zap, done mode of eating! In all this, both B and I discovered that the main reason why baby girl finishes her food fast is just from the simple fact that she opens her mouth much wider.
B has been working late for the past two weeks. As it is, he comes home around 8.00 - 8.15pm from work. The last few weeks he has been coming anywhere from 9 - 11.00 pm. You can imagine the drain on me mentally to suddenly be alone until bedtime. He would be tired when he got home, so naturally he would just go to bed. He was just not available for me most of the time even when he was home. And I think KB too missed him a lot - the one or two hours at night when he spends time with his dear daddy.
One morning, I think on Jan 13, I gave KB his lunch. Usual dal/rice/vegetable combo.
He kept asking me for some book or the other, ones that were not in the basket under the dining table - so I had to keep getting up to go get him the ones he wanted. And he asked for some CD or the other to be played. He then asked me to warm up his food again. I just lost my patience (partly because I was really exhausted mentally from feeling like I am doing all the work for the kids) and yelled at him. Yelled is an understatement. I was sounding like a maniac, I am ashamed to say. I told him very loudly, "Open your mouth - BIGGG'aaa"! "Don't open it like a little bird, open it like a tiger...AAAAAAA...appdi open pannu, big big big" I shouted at him. He was really angry, upset and started yelling back at me and crying saying "SMALL'aaa" and he was in tears. I usually hug him right away if I even yell at him mildly - but I was so upset, tired of so many months of my hoping that he will get better at eating and nothing really changing...I just had no patience that day. I was myself hungry (I should have had some juice at least, but I didn't) and baby girl was sitting the bouncer and I had to eat, then feed her and then make the kids take their nap. I just let him cry it out.
For the first time, he sulked and looked really sad. After he ate, he just sat on the "moda" stool by the CD rack and looked outside and sat very quietly looking really sad. He just looked outside the window and kept listening to music that was playing. I wrote about this in this post. KB normally after lunch is a very happy and extra energetic and immediately hops on his chicco train and goes for a round and then pulls up near baby girl and pulls her hand or plays with her...to see him looking so quiet and sitting in one place for so long was really scary for me. It was all too heart breaking for me.
That night, he asked me to read this book called "When Daddy goes away" - about a father who has to travel on work and comes back home. That's when I realized it was a culmination of two things - my yelling too much at him and daddy not spending any time with him for a few days all of a sudden. I was so nervous about his behavior that day that I called my sister (the pediatrician) and asked her if kids can get that upset or depressed...B got very mad at me for using the word depressed. He said I was being so paranoid and dramatic. We got into an argument over this. This wasn't helping the situation any. The next day B emailed me some links about making meal times pleasant for your child. Somehow those two days became somewhat emotionally charged at home. It is amazing how just the previous day I complained to B that KB is such a fighter and that he is just not afraid of anything I say to him and will only do what he wants...and here I was so worried that he was suddenly not fighting me back instead looking so sad and down. I just could not take it. It was too heart breaking for me. I hugged him and kissed him and that night I just made him have as little as he wanted for his meal. I even let him skip dinner the next day.
Somehow in all this drama, we both seem to have emerged the better. I am now more aware that a)he is now more grown up and he can express emotions more like an adult - not cry loudly but look sad and feel sad. He was missing his father and conveyed it by asking me specifically to read that book a few times. b)if he is not able to eat fast, it is not fair to push him to do so at any point - does not matter if I have been patient for two years, I am not allowed to push him unfairly before he is able to do it on his own willingly.
KB too seems to have gone through some learning experience in this. That he can actually open his mouth just a little wider. He sees his sister eating her meal so fast and I also tell him - just to make him feel good - to tell her "Samatha sapadnum. Big'aa vai thorandhu sapdanum" (You should be good and eat well. You should open your mouth wide and eat). After she finishes, I tell him "See, just like you told her, she opened her mouth big'aa and she ate fast"! Somehow I think this has had an impact on him. It may just be that he is more grown up now. But I have a feeling seeing his sister eat fast along with the emotional show down we had the other day is making him put more of an effort in this regard. It is heart breaking - he is such a good kid really. He is so sensitive to the fact that he has really pushed me to the limit. He now even shows his dad how big he can open his mouth even when he is not eating! And while I give him food, he starts opening his mouth like he used to - small...and then he opens it wider more consciously and says "Aaa"...
Every day now we cheer and celebrate and immediately call his dad and I tell B on the speaker phone "Innik KB evvlo fast'aa saptudhu theriyuma? Big'aa thorandhudhu" etc and B applauds and KB again talks to him and says "KB chamatha Sapturthu inniku"! (KB ate fast today). It is just sheer joy really - this break through. That he is making an effort itself feels like a prize for me! And that is actually showing results - can't tell you how good it feels! KNOCK ON WOOD! If it stays at half an hour per meal, I will be very happy! Let's see - 30 min on good days and 40 min on not so good days is how it is now. If it averages out to 30 min per meal, I will be so happy. All this may seem like a bit too much detail and drama to someone who has not had a difficult/slow eater. But I am sure that anyone who has had to put in a lot of time and effort to feed their child will totally relate to this new found joy of mine! I just feel blessed with such good children, Lavs! :)
KB and I have gone through some kind of learning process together in the last two weeks! He has been a difficult eater - mostly because he is extremely slow...plus he loves to read or talk about some story or sing some song while having food in his mouth. Two other things - he used to open his mouth just a tiny bit for each spoon and he really (even now) cannot ingest too much food at once or he tends to gag. I have a very strong gag reflex to (as commented upon by my dentist, that it is stronger than he has seen in most people) and he is the same way. So if I try to shove more food than he is comfortable with, he just pukes it out. In all, this has been a battle of sorts for both me and KB. It wasn't as much of a problem before baby girl arrived - I would grit and bear and sit through what ever time it took to feed him. Now I am less patient and also have less time. And I also have baby girl who is spoiling me with her amazing - zip, zap, done mode of eating! In all this, both B and I discovered that the main reason why baby girl finishes her food fast is just from the simple fact that she opens her mouth much wider.
B has been working late for the past two weeks. As it is, he comes home around 8.00 - 8.15pm from work. The last few weeks he has been coming anywhere from 9 - 11.00 pm. You can imagine the drain on me mentally to suddenly be alone until bedtime. He would be tired when he got home, so naturally he would just go to bed. He was just not available for me most of the time even when he was home. And I think KB too missed him a lot - the one or two hours at night when he spends time with his dear daddy.
One morning, I think on Jan 13, I gave KB his lunch. Usual dal/rice/vegetable combo.
He kept asking me for some book or the other, ones that were not in the basket under the dining table - so I had to keep getting up to go get him the ones he wanted. And he asked for some CD or the other to be played. He then asked me to warm up his food again. I just lost my patience (partly because I was really exhausted mentally from feeling like I am doing all the work for the kids) and yelled at him. Yelled is an understatement. I was sounding like a maniac, I am ashamed to say. I told him very loudly, "Open your mouth - BIGGG'aaa"! "Don't open it like a little bird, open it like a tiger...AAAAAAA...appdi open pannu, big big big" I shouted at him. He was really angry, upset and started yelling back at me and crying saying "SMALL'aaa" and he was in tears. I usually hug him right away if I even yell at him mildly - but I was so upset, tired of so many months of my hoping that he will get better at eating and nothing really changing...I just had no patience that day. I was myself hungry (I should have had some juice at least, but I didn't) and baby girl was sitting the bouncer and I had to eat, then feed her and then make the kids take their nap. I just let him cry it out.
For the first time, he sulked and looked really sad. After he ate, he just sat on the "moda" stool by the CD rack and looked outside and sat very quietly looking really sad. He just looked outside the window and kept listening to music that was playing. I wrote about this in this post. KB normally after lunch is a very happy and extra energetic and immediately hops on his chicco train and goes for a round and then pulls up near baby girl and pulls her hand or plays with her...to see him looking so quiet and sitting in one place for so long was really scary for me. It was all too heart breaking for me.
That night, he asked me to read this book called "When Daddy goes away" - about a father who has to travel on work and comes back home. That's when I realized it was a culmination of two things - my yelling too much at him and daddy not spending any time with him for a few days all of a sudden. I was so nervous about his behavior that day that I called my sister (the pediatrician) and asked her if kids can get that upset or depressed...B got very mad at me for using the word depressed. He said I was being so paranoid and dramatic. We got into an argument over this. This wasn't helping the situation any. The next day B emailed me some links about making meal times pleasant for your child. Somehow those two days became somewhat emotionally charged at home. It is amazing how just the previous day I complained to B that KB is such a fighter and that he is just not afraid of anything I say to him and will only do what he wants...and here I was so worried that he was suddenly not fighting me back instead looking so sad and down. I just could not take it. It was too heart breaking for me. I hugged him and kissed him and that night I just made him have as little as he wanted for his meal. I even let him skip dinner the next day.
Somehow in all this drama, we both seem to have emerged the better. I am now more aware that a)he is now more grown up and he can express emotions more like an adult - not cry loudly but look sad and feel sad. He was missing his father and conveyed it by asking me specifically to read that book a few times. b)if he is not able to eat fast, it is not fair to push him to do so at any point - does not matter if I have been patient for two years, I am not allowed to push him unfairly before he is able to do it on his own willingly.
KB too seems to have gone through some learning experience in this. That he can actually open his mouth just a little wider. He sees his sister eating her meal so fast and I also tell him - just to make him feel good - to tell her "Samatha sapadnum. Big'aa vai thorandhu sapdanum" (You should be good and eat well. You should open your mouth wide and eat). After she finishes, I tell him "See, just like you told her, she opened her mouth big'aa and she ate fast"! Somehow I think this has had an impact on him. It may just be that he is more grown up now. But I have a feeling seeing his sister eat fast along with the emotional show down we had the other day is making him put more of an effort in this regard. It is heart breaking - he is such a good kid really. He is so sensitive to the fact that he has really pushed me to the limit. He now even shows his dad how big he can open his mouth even when he is not eating! And while I give him food, he starts opening his mouth like he used to - small...and then he opens it wider more consciously and says "Aaa"...
Every day now we cheer and celebrate and immediately call his dad and I tell B on the speaker phone "Innik KB evvlo fast'aa saptudhu theriyuma? Big'aa thorandhudhu" etc and B applauds and KB again talks to him and says "KB chamatha Sapturthu inniku"! (KB ate fast today). It is just sheer joy really - this break through. That he is making an effort itself feels like a prize for me! And that is actually showing results - can't tell you how good it feels! KNOCK ON WOOD! If it stays at half an hour per meal, I will be very happy! Let's see - 30 min on good days and 40 min on not so good days is how it is now. If it averages out to 30 min per meal, I will be so happy. All this may seem like a bit too much detail and drama to someone who has not had a difficult/slow eater. But I am sure that anyone who has had to put in a lot of time and effort to feed their child will totally relate to this new found joy of mine! I just feel blessed with such good children, Lavs! :)
Monday, January 28, 2008
The object of my affection - tag
Object that brings back fond memories…Tharini tagged me on this one.
When you are asked about something that brings back fond memories, your mind scans through several years of events as if you are looking through one of those flip photo books to see your past in action all over again. College, school, childhood…photos? Letters? Patti’s necklace? Appa’s pooja tumbler? Pink Salwar from 9th grade? Gosh, the list is suddenly long. So many things bring back fond memories. I only have a few tangible objects with me here. So many others that I wish I had preserved. But for the sake of this post, I decided that it was this that brought back a wistful feeling, a tug in the heart and a longing for that wonderful feeling of togetherness and family, those carefree moments in your childhood. My “Sapadu thattu”. (Eating plate).
It is a small little round “ever silver” plate with my father’s initials inscribed on it. I am not sure if this is done all over India. But in the south, especially in my mother’s times, it was customary to send a whole lot of vessels – both silver and stainless steel – as part of the bride’s “seer” (gifts). These would include all vessels needed to set up a home as well as those used for performing important rituals. The vessels usually have the initials of the bride (with her new last name) or the groom inscribed on it. I wonder when my plate was purchased. I assume my grandmother bought it for my mother during my mother’s wedding. It has soft rounded edges and a clean and heavy look to it. I have managed to take it with me through all the many places I have lived in so far.
I don’t eat in this plate anymore. My mother uses it when she stays with me. I don’t even pause to look at it too often. But now that I am pausing to do so, it brings back such fond memories. And the pain of longing for something that is now only a part of your memory. When I was a child (I think I was in second grade then), we lived in this large rented house with a verandah that spanned the entire house pretty much. It had beautiful red tiled flooring. The kitchen and the dining rooms were separated from the rest of the house at a lower level – three steps leading to those rooms. We had a large dining table with six chairs. My dad would sit at the head of the table and I would sit next to him and my siblings in the other chairs. On many days however, especially for dinner, if my dad was not around, we preferred to sit on the floor with the dining table behind us. We would all gather in this small space and sit down with our respective plates. We knew not to mix up plates or the sitting spot for each person. My mother would serve us hot delicious food and we would all eat together.
Weekends meant brunch around 10.30 a.m. On those days my father would also sit down along with us. He loved food and had a taste for good food. He loved steamed vegetables and much to my mother’s annoyance he would often quip, “Indha pavakai’ya appdiye steam panni sapta first class’aa irukkum”. (If this bitter gourd were to be steamed and eaten, it would be delicious). It was said partly to irritate her because she would unfailingly retort that he could eat that when he went out with his friends to some five star hotels and she would only serve fried vegetables at home! He never wasted any food and would completely clean up his plate. I was the slowest eater (KB clearly takes after me!) and would talk and laugh and sit at my plate of food forever. I loved telling my sisters about “school tales” and would laugh non-stop at any joke they made. My sisters used to call me “Motorbike” because I would laugh like one. Loud gurgling laughter interspersed with moments of breathlessness! Sundays were the best because my mother would invariably make “Thengai thogayal” (coconut chutney) which I loved and she would also make golden fried “urulakazhangu” (aloo). I would eat well on days she made aloo or okra – the other days, I would always look for an escape route – if my mother got a phone call, she would have to go up the three steps to the other end of the house where the phone was. In the five or ten minutes she was on the phone, I would make a tight fistful of the dreaded healthy vegetable (like beans or plantain) that I had been asked to finish and run up the slopy hill in the backyard and throw it into the other side of it where the crows would come and eat their find. My father would sometimes help me out so I wouldn’t get chided but would gently say, “Green vegetables Sapadnum…appo dhan strong’aa iruppe” (you have to eat green vegetables, only then you will be strong). There was so much chatter and laughter in those 20 – 30 minutes and it would be followed by a group clean up. Later, my dad would lie down and read the newspaper. I would lie down next to my father who invariably fell asleep reading the newspaper. There was a cloth “easy chair” in our living room and I would climb on it upside down and do a flip-flop. I would paint randomly and laboriously arrange the painted sheets in order of “favorites”. I would also note down what the favorites order for my sister was.
I could go on about the memories that this one tangible piece – the “thattu” – from my childhood days brings back to me. I wish I could relive the happiness and the absolutely carefree state it was then. My parents shouldered everything – the children only had to eat, study and have fun. It makes me wonder if we can be that way to our children. To let them experience childhood without the burden of all that it takes to give them that. Especially in today’s world where one has to be careful about every thing – where they go, what they do, who interacts with them, what they see on the Internet…. I remember those days and for a second wish I could talk to my father again. I remind myself that my mother is a phone call away and I feel extremely grateful for that suddenly.
I also feel that food is such a strong part of childhood memories and I want to make sure we have family meals together no matter how rushed we are, no matter how many piano and tennis lessons my children have to go to. I hope we are able to do this as a family. I hope there is just as much laughter, just as much “fried urulaks” (oh nothing can beat tasty fried aloo!) and silly conversation and sure hope my children don’t rush into adulthood with all the exposure they get in today’s world. It reminds me – I should get them each a good plate when they are ready to eat on their own. One that will last forever and will bring them back to their childhood when they look at it!
I tag - Aryan (please let mom talk just this once Aryan), DDmom (why are you missing for so long?!), Cantaloupe, Madmomma, Poppins, Ranjani, SS.
When you are asked about something that brings back fond memories, your mind scans through several years of events as if you are looking through one of those flip photo books to see your past in action all over again. College, school, childhood…photos? Letters? Patti’s necklace? Appa’s pooja tumbler? Pink Salwar from 9th grade? Gosh, the list is suddenly long. So many things bring back fond memories. I only have a few tangible objects with me here. So many others that I wish I had preserved. But for the sake of this post, I decided that it was this that brought back a wistful feeling, a tug in the heart and a longing for that wonderful feeling of togetherness and family, those carefree moments in your childhood. My “Sapadu thattu”. (Eating plate).
It is a small little round “ever silver” plate with my father’s initials inscribed on it. I am not sure if this is done all over India. But in the south, especially in my mother’s times, it was customary to send a whole lot of vessels – both silver and stainless steel – as part of the bride’s “seer” (gifts). These would include all vessels needed to set up a home as well as those used for performing important rituals. The vessels usually have the initials of the bride (with her new last name) or the groom inscribed on it. I wonder when my plate was purchased. I assume my grandmother bought it for my mother during my mother’s wedding. It has soft rounded edges and a clean and heavy look to it. I have managed to take it with me through all the many places I have lived in so far.
I don’t eat in this plate anymore. My mother uses it when she stays with me. I don’t even pause to look at it too often. But now that I am pausing to do so, it brings back such fond memories. And the pain of longing for something that is now only a part of your memory. When I was a child (I think I was in second grade then), we lived in this large rented house with a verandah that spanned the entire house pretty much. It had beautiful red tiled flooring. The kitchen and the dining rooms were separated from the rest of the house at a lower level – three steps leading to those rooms. We had a large dining table with six chairs. My dad would sit at the head of the table and I would sit next to him and my siblings in the other chairs. On many days however, especially for dinner, if my dad was not around, we preferred to sit on the floor with the dining table behind us. We would all gather in this small space and sit down with our respective plates. We knew not to mix up plates or the sitting spot for each person. My mother would serve us hot delicious food and we would all eat together.
Weekends meant brunch around 10.30 a.m. On those days my father would also sit down along with us. He loved food and had a taste for good food. He loved steamed vegetables and much to my mother’s annoyance he would often quip, “Indha pavakai’ya appdiye steam panni sapta first class’aa irukkum”. (If this bitter gourd were to be steamed and eaten, it would be delicious). It was said partly to irritate her because she would unfailingly retort that he could eat that when he went out with his friends to some five star hotels and she would only serve fried vegetables at home! He never wasted any food and would completely clean up his plate. I was the slowest eater (KB clearly takes after me!) and would talk and laugh and sit at my plate of food forever. I loved telling my sisters about “school tales” and would laugh non-stop at any joke they made. My sisters used to call me “Motorbike” because I would laugh like one. Loud gurgling laughter interspersed with moments of breathlessness! Sundays were the best because my mother would invariably make “Thengai thogayal” (coconut chutney) which I loved and she would also make golden fried “urulakazhangu” (aloo). I would eat well on days she made aloo or okra – the other days, I would always look for an escape route – if my mother got a phone call, she would have to go up the three steps to the other end of the house where the phone was. In the five or ten minutes she was on the phone, I would make a tight fistful of the dreaded healthy vegetable (like beans or plantain) that I had been asked to finish and run up the slopy hill in the backyard and throw it into the other side of it where the crows would come and eat their find. My father would sometimes help me out so I wouldn’t get chided but would gently say, “Green vegetables Sapadnum…appo dhan strong’aa iruppe” (you have to eat green vegetables, only then you will be strong). There was so much chatter and laughter in those 20 – 30 minutes and it would be followed by a group clean up. Later, my dad would lie down and read the newspaper. I would lie down next to my father who invariably fell asleep reading the newspaper. There was a cloth “easy chair” in our living room and I would climb on it upside down and do a flip-flop. I would paint randomly and laboriously arrange the painted sheets in order of “favorites”. I would also note down what the favorites order for my sister was.
I could go on about the memories that this one tangible piece – the “thattu” – from my childhood days brings back to me. I wish I could relive the happiness and the absolutely carefree state it was then. My parents shouldered everything – the children only had to eat, study and have fun. It makes me wonder if we can be that way to our children. To let them experience childhood without the burden of all that it takes to give them that. Especially in today’s world where one has to be careful about every thing – where they go, what they do, who interacts with them, what they see on the Internet…. I remember those days and for a second wish I could talk to my father again. I remind myself that my mother is a phone call away and I feel extremely grateful for that suddenly.
I also feel that food is such a strong part of childhood memories and I want to make sure we have family meals together no matter how rushed we are, no matter how many piano and tennis lessons my children have to go to. I hope we are able to do this as a family. I hope there is just as much laughter, just as much “fried urulaks” (oh nothing can beat tasty fried aloo!) and silly conversation and sure hope my children don’t rush into adulthood with all the exposure they get in today’s world. It reminds me – I should get them each a good plate when they are ready to eat on their own. One that will last forever and will bring them back to their childhood when they look at it!
I tag - Aryan (please let mom talk just this once Aryan), DDmom (why are you missing for so long?!), Cantaloupe, Madmomma, Poppins, Ranjani, SS.
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