Wednesday, September 29, 2010

One second at a time...

So much happens and time goes by in a much is going unrecorded which I am not happy about.  I do want to write more often for my sake and for my few good friends who care to read and write to me as well.
In a gist:

KB turned five in August and started kindergarten.  He seems to be enjoying his new school.  For a child who cried for a whole month when he started preschool at age three, it is quite some emotional growth to be able to drop him off in a new classroom for five hours, wave good bye and leave right on the first day.  Knock on wood.

KG started preschool.  As I expected it was quite the breeze.  We took her to her new school - a lovely warm atmosphere with tons of play and pretty much play, song and dance being the main theme there.  The teacher had set out small tubs of paint and some paper cut out to paint on.  KG sat down to paint and picked her favorite pink color.  After a few minutes of hanging out there and taking photos I said bye to KG.  She casually said "bye mamma" and continued painting.  She did hold my hand a little longer the second week when the novelty wore out but when I told her I would come later to pick her up, she just went off to play outside.

On Sep 4 morning, KB and KG were playing in the house chasing each other.  One moment we were all dancing to a music CD.  I went into the study room for a minute.  I suddenly heard a thud and crying - I ran out to look - KB was holding his left eye and blood was running down.  In panic I got him to remove his hand to check if his eye was hurt.  Thank God for big mercies the cut was in his left eyebrow.  One minute we were planning our outing for that weekend and the next minute we were driving to ER.  They had to give him a shot to numb him and then put in four stitches to seal the cut.  Five days later, I had to take him to his regular pediatrician to have the sutures removed.  It does show but not too badly.  Hopefully with time, it will be barely visible.

KB has a birth mark, a good size mole on his lower abdomen area.  I had written about the tension I went through in this post.  It has resurfaced again.  I took KB to his five year physical when I casually mentioned to the pediatrician to take a look at the mole just to be sure it is OK.  He asked me if it looked different.  I was taken aback - I do keep an eye on it - it didn't look any different to me - but how can I be so sure - I had no measurements.  Our pede decided to refer him to a dermatologist to just make sure it was OK.  I took KB last afternoon to a dermatologist.  The derm takes one quick look and asks me if it looks different.  Again I told him it did not "look" different to me but how could I be sure at a clinical level.  The derm then casually told me that it looks "abnormal" and that KB needs to go through a procedure where they would give a shot to numb the area and then scrape out the moles (one bigger, the other smaller one).  I told him I wanted to think about it and talk to my husband and then make a decision.  KB grilled me on the drive back with questions like "Are they going to remove all my birth marks?",  "How do they know this one might hurt when I become big?",  "Why do they want to remove it if they don't know for sure?", "Did you have your birthmarks removed when you were a kid?"....It was hard to answer all his questions in the mood I was in.  But the matter still remains to be dealt with.  I have asked our pede for a referral to see another derm for a second opinion.  If I pause too long to think about it and let my mind go wild, I feel like there is a stone in my heart.  I am just praying it will be something KB and I can stomach and get through and get back home after a procedure to remove it if it comes to that.

I was talking to my sister the other day when she said to me, "we need to just take it one day at a time".  I was joking with her saying I only take it one second at a time.  Just can't predict what will happen the next moment.  These days my feeling is - if I can deal with it and come back home in a couple of hours - that is fine even if I have to go through some level of tension (like the day KB went to ER), anger and disappointment.  My prayer more and more is for the health and safety of the kids and of people in general.  Rest can be managed.  If you are reading this, that is my top wish for you and your family.