I had mentioned in the previous post that we went to shop for a larger area rug for the living room. We have tiled flooring downstairs and carpeted floors upstairs where the bedrooms are. When I give KB his meals, I put a separate sheet and some toys on the rug and let KG play and move around there. But of late she moves around so fast that I end up running behind her while feeding KB. She turns, cranes her neck to the point of interest and rolls and slides and somehow gets to where she wants to go. She pulls things on top of her face, takes KB's toys that are not appropriate for her age (heavy) and tries to pull on them. Also, the floor is quite cold since it has been cold and rainy outside. So I decided it would be best to get a large rug so at least she can wander around more freely with less stress for me in having to monitor her movements on the bare floor. We got a nice rug that B picked up on Monday morning and we have it on the living room floor now. It's been so good for me to have this large rug because both KB and KG are able to have some space around them when they are playing or if KG is watching KB play.
Last night, KB again went to our CD rack and brought some random CD that he could reach. As per his "order" we put this CD in the player - it was "Dave Brubeck's greatest hits". It was fun to listen to some nice Jazz music after a long time. I was glad that KB didn't ask us to turn it off mid way and ask for some other children's CD. KB came and sat next to me while B was standing on the rug and listening to the music and chatting with me. Suddenly I told KB, "ask Daddy to play the piano". B immediately pretended like he was playing the piano with full gusto in the tune of the music we were listening to. KB found this very funny - all the animated body movements from B - and he started laughing. So I prompted him to ask his dad to play the Saxophone. B again pretended to be playing the Saxophone like a true Jazz musician - with added histrionics as if he was really holding a saxophone. He started dancing mildly with this pretend Saxophone too. Now KB really got into this game and started adding more and more instruments. The all rounder B who suddenly became adept at all instruments in this imaginary world was enjoying being the showman on center stage. He really danced on while playing the requested instruments. KB and I were laughing so much through all this - it was a moment to preserve in memory. We were truly making merry at that moment. Being given a part in KB's innocent and sweet world.
A little while later, we told KB it was his bed time and gave him his night time milk. Then it was time for his diaper change. We had mentally wound down for the night and thought the fun had ended. KB got down from the couch while the music was still playing and continued to linger in that moment by dancing crazily, imitating very much B's movements from a few minutes back. It was just unbelievably funny. It was pure delight for us parents to watch this little child of ours entertain us with his crazy but adorable dancing that was also quite in tune with the music playing in the background. Ah - I just thrive on such spontaneous moments. It doesn't happen when you keep looking for it but when it happens, it is pure, unadulterated joy! The new rug already has a memory attached to it. I suppose this is how a home is built!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Rainy sunday and yummy pulav
It's been raining in our part of the world all weekend. Usually on weekends, I feel this need to plan for the morning and make sure we take KB out to the park where he can run around and play freely. If we go on weekdays, I have to hold KG and run behind him to make sure he doesn't fall from the slide or some such thing (invariably he runs under some slide structure or falls from one when I am holding her or cannot run under something!). This weekend in a way was more relaxed for me since it was raining and we decided to just take it easy and not go out anywhere in the morning unless it stopped raining.
I gave KB his breakfast and then had mine, fed KG and then started cooking. Decided to make vegetable pulav and raita. I had my MIL's recipe for pulav which always turns out well. While I was cooking, KB had a great time playing in the new school bus tent along with B. He pretended to be driving B to the shop for groceries in his school bus. KB and our neighbor's daughter had a rollicking time playing in this tent on Saturday morning.
After feeding KB his lunch, we ate our lunch. We enjoyed the pulav so much (thanks to my MIL's recipe) that I decided to post the recipe here. After lunch, suddenly the sun was out and it had stopped raining. But we only had about 45 min before KB and KG's afternoon nap time. So we decided to go to the local library. It was so relaxing - KB and I walked to the Children's section, B and KG wandered off into some other non fiction area that he wanted to check out. KB sat on the table like one of the big kids there and pretended to read a book. He then got down and came to the shelf I was at and put the book back, got another book, went back to the table and continued to read.
We got back home and both KB and KG fell asleep in no time. B and I had tea and chatted for a short while. B normally doesn't eat white rice (has cracked wheat) - on days he has pulav he feels this need for a nice afternoon nap. He napped while I spent a little while looking at a couple of blogs, posting responses etc. B came upstairs and downloaded some photos from the camera into the computer - so of course we had fun admiring our own kids in their different moods in the photos. KB woke up early from his nap. Back to duties - feeding the kids/changing the kids/getting some basic dinner ready etc until 6.30pm. We then took the kids out to shop for a larger area rug for the living room. KB had a great time running around at the store and just to make such a relaxing and lovely day even more perfect, he ate his meal peacefully and quickly without any fuss. Some days are just cozy and fun no matter what the weather is outside!
Here is the Pulav recipe and a picture of KB enjoying his new tent!
----------------------------------------------
1)
Dhania - 3 teaspoons
Black pepper - 3
Cinnamon sticks - 4 or 5 small thin ones (I just took one full long one and crushed a few flakes into the mix - didn't want too strong a flavor).
Cloves - 4 or 5
Jeera - 1/4 tea spoon
Red Chilly - 1
Elaichi - 4 (open and crush seeds).
Fry these in little oil.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2)
Add:
Grated Coconut - 4tbl spoons
Green chillies - 3 or 4
Coriander - lots
Garlic pods - 2 chopped fine
Ginger - 1 piece
Onion (medium size) - half onion, chopped fine.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blend (1) and (2) to paste. Quickly sautee the paste in about 4 tea spoons of oil.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Add cooked Basmati rice (I cook the rice separately and boil the vegetables separately - all parallel processing - not really hard) and cooked vegetables to the paste (after the raw smell goes away from the sauteeing) and mix it well.
Vegetables I generally use - Potato, carrot, beans, Valore Lilva (not sure what it is called - we get it frozen at the Indian store), peas.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cracked wheat pulav:
I make cracked wheat pulav or pulav with brown basmati rice (lower glycemic index - for those worried about sugar/weight/cholesterol etc) if I just want to make a quick pulav with a lot of vegetables.
Since dotmom had asked me how I cook the cracked wheat - I thought I will post that recipe here too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy cracked wheat – light bulgur or the cracked wheat (No 2)avail at the Indian store.
Need cauiliflower (half, cut into florets), potatoes (1 or 2 small, peel skin, chop into big cubes), onion (one small, medium size pieces), a bunch of coriander leaves finely chopped and green chillies, 3 or 4 cut into half. Mint leaves too if u want. and beans, radish etc if u have/want.. just any veggies you add for pulav is fine.
Heat oil. Add 4 or 5 cloves, lil cinnamon, one bay leaf and two cardamoms (open). Then add onions and sautee for a min. To this add a dash of black pepper (if you have the pepper mill, fresh grind, if not pepper powder). (If you happen to have the MTR Pulav powder, you can add a teaspoon of that too).
To this add the cauli,aloo,green chillies, coriander. mix well and let it cook for just 1 min. add salt.
Add 3/4 coffee mug (or a full mug) of toasted cracked wheat to this and mix well with the oil and veggies.
Transfer the whole thing to a pressure cooker vessel and add 2.5 times (the amt of cracked wheat) water.
Pressure cook to only 3 whistles like for rice.
If you don't want to use the cooker, you can add water to the same pan and keep it covered and cook on low for half an hour. (I prefer this until I kind of get an idea of how much water works for that particular brand of cracked wheat).
Amt of water needed may vary depending on the wheat. This is a watered down version - but since it does not have coconut or too much masala stuff (no blending also) - it is a healthier/lighter version of the other pulav.
I gave KB his breakfast and then had mine, fed KG and then started cooking. Decided to make vegetable pulav and raita. I had my MIL's recipe for pulav which always turns out well. While I was cooking, KB had a great time playing in the new school bus tent along with B. He pretended to be driving B to the shop for groceries in his school bus. KB and our neighbor's daughter had a rollicking time playing in this tent on Saturday morning.
After feeding KB his lunch, we ate our lunch. We enjoyed the pulav so much (thanks to my MIL's recipe) that I decided to post the recipe here. After lunch, suddenly the sun was out and it had stopped raining. But we only had about 45 min before KB and KG's afternoon nap time. So we decided to go to the local library. It was so relaxing - KB and I walked to the Children's section, B and KG wandered off into some other non fiction area that he wanted to check out. KB sat on the table like one of the big kids there and pretended to read a book. He then got down and came to the shelf I was at and put the book back, got another book, went back to the table and continued to read.
We got back home and both KB and KG fell asleep in no time. B and I had tea and chatted for a short while. B normally doesn't eat white rice (has cracked wheat) - on days he has pulav he feels this need for a nice afternoon nap. He napped while I spent a little while looking at a couple of blogs, posting responses etc. B came upstairs and downloaded some photos from the camera into the computer - so of course we had fun admiring our own kids in their different moods in the photos. KB woke up early from his nap. Back to duties - feeding the kids/changing the kids/getting some basic dinner ready etc until 6.30pm. We then took the kids out to shop for a larger area rug for the living room. KB had a great time running around at the store and just to make such a relaxing and lovely day even more perfect, he ate his meal peacefully and quickly without any fuss. Some days are just cozy and fun no matter what the weather is outside!
Here is the Pulav recipe and a picture of KB enjoying his new tent!
----------------------------------------------
1)
Dhania - 3 teaspoons
Black pepper - 3
Cinnamon sticks - 4 or 5 small thin ones (I just took one full long one and crushed a few flakes into the mix - didn't want too strong a flavor).
Cloves - 4 or 5
Jeera - 1/4 tea spoon
Red Chilly - 1
Elaichi - 4 (open and crush seeds).
Fry these in little oil.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2)
Add:
Grated Coconut - 4tbl spoons
Green chillies - 3 or 4
Coriander - lots
Garlic pods - 2 chopped fine
Ginger - 1 piece
Onion (medium size) - half onion, chopped fine.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blend (1) and (2) to paste. Quickly sautee the paste in about 4 tea spoons of oil.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Add cooked Basmati rice (I cook the rice separately and boil the vegetables separately - all parallel processing - not really hard) and cooked vegetables to the paste (after the raw smell goes away from the sauteeing) and mix it well.
Vegetables I generally use - Potato, carrot, beans, Valore Lilva (not sure what it is called - we get it frozen at the Indian store), peas.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cracked wheat pulav:
I make cracked wheat pulav or pulav with brown basmati rice (lower glycemic index - for those worried about sugar/weight/cholesterol etc) if I just want to make a quick pulav with a lot of vegetables.
Since dotmom had asked me how I cook the cracked wheat - I thought I will post that recipe here too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy cracked wheat – light bulgur or the cracked wheat (No 2)avail at the Indian store.
Need cauiliflower (half, cut into florets), potatoes (1 or 2 small, peel skin, chop into big cubes), onion (one small, medium size pieces), a bunch of coriander leaves finely chopped and green chillies, 3 or 4 cut into half. Mint leaves too if u want. and beans, radish etc if u have/want.. just any veggies you add for pulav is fine.
Heat oil. Add 4 or 5 cloves, lil cinnamon, one bay leaf and two cardamoms (open). Then add onions and sautee for a min. To this add a dash of black pepper (if you have the pepper mill, fresh grind, if not pepper powder). (If you happen to have the MTR Pulav powder, you can add a teaspoon of that too).
To this add the cauli,aloo,green chillies, coriander. mix well and let it cook for just 1 min. add salt.
Add 3/4 coffee mug (or a full mug) of toasted cracked wheat to this and mix well with the oil and veggies.
Transfer the whole thing to a pressure cooker vessel and add 2.5 times (the amt of cracked wheat) water.
Pressure cook to only 3 whistles like for rice.
If you don't want to use the cooker, you can add water to the same pan and keep it covered and cook on low for half an hour. (I prefer this until I kind of get an idea of how much water works for that particular brand of cracked wheat).
Amt of water needed may vary depending on the wheat. This is a watered down version - but since it does not have coconut or too much masala stuff (no blending also) - it is a healthier/lighter version of the other pulav.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
KB and KG
For those of you perched on the wall and wondering which camp (one child or two) to jump into...
Here's evidence to convince you that
a) the second child will find ways to entertain herself.
Hmm...my fingers look interesting!
b) the second child will also often entertain and pamper the older one!
c) the two together will indulge you every now and then - let you take pictures, finish your lunch and then attend to them! When you see them bond this way, I can guarantee you will feel that it was worth going through all the pregnancy pains again!
d) You can relive every precious moment, every little milestone again with the second one - except this time you will* be more relaxed as a parent and enjoy it peacefully.
e)You will love your first child in a whole new dimension - in the role of the older sibling. You will marvel at the love he is capable of giving to someone who supposedly is now competing for your attention!
Here's evidence to convince you that
a) the second child will find ways to entertain herself.
Hmm...my fingers look interesting!
b) the second child will also often entertain and pamper the older one!
c) the two together will indulge you every now and then - let you take pictures, finish your lunch and then attend to them! When you see them bond this way, I can guarantee you will feel that it was worth going through all the pregnancy pains again!
d) You can relive every precious moment, every little milestone again with the second one - except this time you will* be more relaxed as a parent and enjoy it peacefully.
e)You will love your first child in a whole new dimension - in the role of the older sibling. You will marvel at the love he is capable of giving to someone who supposedly is now competing for your attention!
Income disparity
Hi Dotmom - This was getting to be another long comment - figured I would just post it in my blog space rather than hog your comment space again. This is in response to this comment from you:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does this statement exactly mean then??
//
am talking about the disproportionately high incomes of CEOs compared to the lowest workers at least in garment factories and such...
//
they are disproportionate for a reason.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By disproportionate I mean it is ridiculously so. Of course it is disproportionate for many reasons. I assumed you would understand what I meant - and not in the literal sense - that I expect an unskilled laborer to be paid exactly the same as the CEO or the doctor to be paid the same as the janitor.
There is competition for talent and so of course the cream of the crop gets huge amounts in pay and all sorts of incentives when s/he gets hired as the CEO. But the disparity, not just between CEO and the lowest level worker, but even the CEO and the average skilled worker is huge...one can understand a disparity - but 200 - 250 times (see link below) more money than an average worker - seems very* disproportionate to me. Esp if the workers way down below are being paid pittance and often has to live below poverty lines...
http://www.epi.org/content.cfm/webfeatures_snapshots_20060621
Companies have to make profits against stiff competition...the only way to win now is to have cheap labor but a large percentage of the profits reaped go to the CEOs and top level people extremely disproportionately.
My original point was that there are injustices everywhere. In my opinion, this kind of egregious disparity (which is what I meant by disproportionate and of course we can argue over weather it really is egregious or not) in pay is an injustice to the lowest level worker. I am trying to say that we are willing to live with one kind of injustice or the other in different aspects of our lives…but that doesn’t mean one doesn’t stop trying to work towards a fair and just society as a whole – you do it in your own way say when you wrote about the blood diamonds and some other person does it in some other way…There will always be inconsistencies but people try in their own ways and every bit counts…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adding to this post instead of writing in the comment space:
Preethi – thanks for reading and for commenting. My response to your comment will be my post itself – since that is what I was writing about in the first place – that it is disproportionate and of course with reason – but that in my opinion it is egregious – the disparity. Every one knows the skill sets and responsibilities are different – if not any Tom could be the CEO of a company. It is how much more should he/she be paid that we are arguing about.
Dotmom – An average programmer makes 150K and the CEO makes 300K – not a lot – in terms of just pay – but the stock differences awarded to each are huge. You can see that the CEO is not just making twice what the programmer makes but 250 times more. You cannot compare just base pay – the stocks contribute to the egregious difference. And CEO pays are determined by boards, I agree. But who make up the boards and how do they arrive at the package?
Here’s a part of the text from Mr.Warren Buffet’s shareholder newsletter:
Buffett on compensation committees:
From 2006 shareholder letter (Page 19 of http://www.berkshirehathaway.com/letters/2006ltr.pdf):
You’ve read loads about CEOs who have received astronomical compensation for mediocre results. Much less well-advertised is the fact that America’s CEOs also generally live the good life. Many, it should be emphasized, are exceptionally able, and almost all work far more than 40 hours a week. But they are usually treated like royalty in the process. (And we’re certainly going to keep it that way at Berkshire. Though Charlie still favors sackcloth and ashes, I prefer to be spoiled rotten. Berkshire owns The Pampered Chef; our wonderful office group has made me The Pampered Chief.)
CEO perks at one company are quickly copied elsewhere. “All the other kids have one” may seem a thought too juvenile to use as a rationale in the boardroom. But consultants employ precisely this argument, phrased more elegantly of course, when they make recommendations to comp committees. Irrational and excessive comp practices will not be materially changed by disclosure or by “independent” comp committee members. Indeed, I think it’s likely that the reason I was rejected for service on so many comp committees was that I was regarded as too independent. Compensation reform
will only occur if the largest institutional shareholders – it would only take a few – demand a fresh look at the whole system. The consultants’ present drill of deftly selecting “peer” companies to compare with their clients will only perpetuate present excesses.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From CNN:
Buffett and Munger both were scathing on the subject of executive compensation and the process of how pay is set at major corporations:
"The typical large company has a compensation committee," said Buffett. "They don't look for Dobermans on that committee, they look for chihuahuas."
He paused amid laughter, then added: "Chihuahuas that have been sedated."
Munger interjected: "I would rather throw a viper down my shirt front than hire a compensation consultant."
http://money.cnn.com/2004/05/03/pf/buffett_qanda/
I agree that the CEO deserves to be paid a lot more than an average worker in the company – he clearly has a huge responsibility. But what is the risk involved in his job? If the company fails, aside from the fall from grace, how is the CEO penalized? With a generous severance package? Check out this link about the “risks” involved in becoming a CEO.
CEO compensation is not necessarily tied to the performance of the company or adjusted as per the company’s growth anyway.
Stock prices do not slide because of CEO pay -- they slide because of drop in earnings. And a drop in earnings is not entirely because of a CEO not doing his job. Likewise, CEO is not entirely responsible for increase in earnings either.
Free markets are good and bad. Depends on which class of society you are talking to.
I feel I am able to sit in a comfortable situation and talk about its merits. But I cannot deny that there are a lot of people paying the price for my comfort and definitely that of an extremely indulgent life style for CEOs of big companies. If Walmart (or any large company for that matter) sets a price to its manufacturer in China, who in turn has to pay his laborers poorly to meet the price, who is likely to ignore environmental damage to balance costs – I am part of that system that doesn’t demand the laborer be paid more. Not as much as a top level exec to put it clearly here - but more than the pittance they get for the long hours they work. I am not out there saying that I want to pay more for my goods so that the laborer there gets more. Which was my point in the first place – that I am only willing/able to fight some battles…And we all try to contribute to a fair and healthy society in our own ways.
I finally got some uninterrupted time at 11.30pm. Too tired to write more – but we know where we stand in this issue.
Anyways – made for an interesting exchange!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Continuing the post:
In response to your last comment:
I agree that those sorts of things – 35h weeks only etc are not sustainable in this competitive world. But all my points still stand. It is more after coming to the US that I have noticed, read and thought more about all this. Free market is good – leads to competition, quality, consumption, jobs etc etc. But free market is not really a free market - it favors the rich and powerful. It certainly does not trickle down in an ideal manner. If it was trickling down so well, then the disparity in wealth, in what kind of health care, education and retirement people can afford won’t be so wide and obvious. My point about CEO pay and how the compensation gets decided etc is to highlight this. One person gets grossly over paid irrespective of performance and the lower level workers grossly underpaid in comparison
(as GND has written in the comments here). CEO pay is not governed by free market economics. Free market is driven towards maximizing profits which doesn’t often go with protecting the environment.
How much do we - on a day to day basis - think about all this or protest what we think may be an injustice? Again my point really is that we can/are willing to only fight so many battles. And that we all keep trying in our own ways.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does this statement exactly mean then??
//
am talking about the disproportionately high incomes of CEOs compared to the lowest workers at least in garment factories and such...
//
they are disproportionate for a reason.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
By disproportionate I mean it is ridiculously so. Of course it is disproportionate for many reasons. I assumed you would understand what I meant - and not in the literal sense - that I expect an unskilled laborer to be paid exactly the same as the CEO or the doctor to be paid the same as the janitor.
There is competition for talent and so of course the cream of the crop gets huge amounts in pay and all sorts of incentives when s/he gets hired as the CEO. But the disparity, not just between CEO and the lowest level worker, but even the CEO and the average skilled worker is huge...one can understand a disparity - but 200 - 250 times (see link below) more money than an average worker - seems very* disproportionate to me. Esp if the workers way down below are being paid pittance and often has to live below poverty lines...
http://www.epi.org/content.cfm/webfeatures_snapshots_20060621
Companies have to make profits against stiff competition...the only way to win now is to have cheap labor but a large percentage of the profits reaped go to the CEOs and top level people extremely disproportionately.
My original point was that there are injustices everywhere. In my opinion, this kind of egregious disparity (which is what I meant by disproportionate and of course we can argue over weather it really is egregious or not) in pay is an injustice to the lowest level worker. I am trying to say that we are willing to live with one kind of injustice or the other in different aspects of our lives…but that doesn’t mean one doesn’t stop trying to work towards a fair and just society as a whole – you do it in your own way say when you wrote about the blood diamonds and some other person does it in some other way…There will always be inconsistencies but people try in their own ways and every bit counts…
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adding to this post instead of writing in the comment space:
Preethi – thanks for reading and for commenting. My response to your comment will be my post itself – since that is what I was writing about in the first place – that it is disproportionate and of course with reason – but that in my opinion it is egregious – the disparity. Every one knows the skill sets and responsibilities are different – if not any Tom could be the CEO of a company. It is how much more should he/she be paid that we are arguing about.
Dotmom – An average programmer makes 150K and the CEO makes 300K – not a lot – in terms of just pay – but the stock differences awarded to each are huge. You can see that the CEO is not just making twice what the programmer makes but 250 times more. You cannot compare just base pay – the stocks contribute to the egregious difference. And CEO pays are determined by boards, I agree. But who make up the boards and how do they arrive at the package?
Here’s a part of the text from Mr.Warren Buffet’s shareholder newsletter:
Buffett on compensation committees:
From 2006 shareholder letter (Page 19 of http://www.berkshirehathaway.com/letters/2006ltr.pdf):
You’ve read loads about CEOs who have received astronomical compensation for mediocre results. Much less well-advertised is the fact that America’s CEOs also generally live the good life. Many, it should be emphasized, are exceptionally able, and almost all work far more than 40 hours a week. But they are usually treated like royalty in the process. (And we’re certainly going to keep it that way at Berkshire. Though Charlie still favors sackcloth and ashes, I prefer to be spoiled rotten. Berkshire owns The Pampered Chef; our wonderful office group has made me The Pampered Chief.)
CEO perks at one company are quickly copied elsewhere. “All the other kids have one” may seem a thought too juvenile to use as a rationale in the boardroom. But consultants employ precisely this argument, phrased more elegantly of course, when they make recommendations to comp committees. Irrational and excessive comp practices will not be materially changed by disclosure or by “independent” comp committee members. Indeed, I think it’s likely that the reason I was rejected for service on so many comp committees was that I was regarded as too independent. Compensation reform
will only occur if the largest institutional shareholders – it would only take a few – demand a fresh look at the whole system. The consultants’ present drill of deftly selecting “peer” companies to compare with their clients will only perpetuate present excesses.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From CNN:
Buffett and Munger both were scathing on the subject of executive compensation and the process of how pay is set at major corporations:
"The typical large company has a compensation committee," said Buffett. "They don't look for Dobermans on that committee, they look for chihuahuas."
He paused amid laughter, then added: "Chihuahuas that have been sedated."
Munger interjected: "I would rather throw a viper down my shirt front than hire a compensation consultant."
http://money.cnn.com/2004/05/03/pf/buffett_qanda/
I agree that the CEO deserves to be paid a lot more than an average worker in the company – he clearly has a huge responsibility. But what is the risk involved in his job? If the company fails, aside from the fall from grace, how is the CEO penalized? With a generous severance package? Check out this link about the “risks” involved in becoming a CEO.
CEO compensation is not necessarily tied to the performance of the company or adjusted as per the company’s growth anyway.
Stock prices do not slide because of CEO pay -- they slide because of drop in earnings. And a drop in earnings is not entirely because of a CEO not doing his job. Likewise, CEO is not entirely responsible for increase in earnings either.
Free markets are good and bad. Depends on which class of society you are talking to.
I feel I am able to sit in a comfortable situation and talk about its merits. But I cannot deny that there are a lot of people paying the price for my comfort and definitely that of an extremely indulgent life style for CEOs of big companies. If Walmart (or any large company for that matter) sets a price to its manufacturer in China, who in turn has to pay his laborers poorly to meet the price, who is likely to ignore environmental damage to balance costs – I am part of that system that doesn’t demand the laborer be paid more. Not as much as a top level exec to put it clearly here - but more than the pittance they get for the long hours they work. I am not out there saying that I want to pay more for my goods so that the laborer there gets more. Which was my point in the first place – that I am only willing/able to fight some battles…And we all try to contribute to a fair and healthy society in our own ways.
I finally got some uninterrupted time at 11.30pm. Too tired to write more – but we know where we stand in this issue.
Anyways – made for an interesting exchange!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Continuing the post:
In response to your last comment:
I agree that those sorts of things – 35h weeks only etc are not sustainable in this competitive world. But all my points still stand. It is more after coming to the US that I have noticed, read and thought more about all this. Free market is good – leads to competition, quality, consumption, jobs etc etc. But free market is not really a free market - it favors the rich and powerful. It certainly does not trickle down in an ideal manner. If it was trickling down so well, then the disparity in wealth, in what kind of health care, education and retirement people can afford won’t be so wide and obvious. My point about CEO pay and how the compensation gets decided etc is to highlight this. One person gets grossly over paid irrespective of performance and the lower level workers grossly underpaid in comparison
(as GND has written in the comments here). CEO pay is not governed by free market economics. Free market is driven towards maximizing profits which doesn’t often go with protecting the environment.
How much do we - on a day to day basis - think about all this or protest what we think may be an injustice? Again my point really is that we can/are willing to only fight so many battles. And that we all keep trying in our own ways.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Tag time again - A to Z
Neera tagged me to do this:
A -Available?
Not even for myself most of the time these days!
B-Best friend:
Strangely even as a child, I always said I had many close friends, but no one best friend…
C-Cake or Pie?
Cake. Definitely not Pie!
D-Drink of choice:
Hot tea with a lot of sugar!
E-Essential thing used everyday:
Sugar and Salt! If either one was not available at home, I would have to go get it right away!
F-Favourite colour:
Husband says I am only able to see one color – Red
G-Gummi bears or worms:
Neither!
H-Hometown:
Madras
I-Indulgence:
When I spend a lot in getting gifts for my favorite people…esp children. If I were really wealthy, that would be my serious indulgence.
J-January or February:
February – short month with the promise of spring….
K-Kids and names:
KB and KG
L-Life:
When I think of life, I often think of some lines by one of my favorite poets, Kaviarasu Kannadasan. It goes like this: (copy/pasted from some website)
Aasaiye alai pole,
Naamellam athan mele,
Odam pole adiduvome vaazh nalile
Paruvam ennum kaatrrile
parakkum kaathal therile
aanum pennum mahizhvar
suham peruvar - athisayam kaanpaar
Naalai ulahin paathaiyai inre
yaar kaanuvar?
Even in this lyric, Kannadasan reinforces the theme, "sorrows are credit of life, while the joys are debit, with the balance being mere dreams, and who can comprehend the arithmetic of fate?"
M-Marriage date:
January 21
N-Number of siblings:
Five
O-Oranges or apples:
Both, when in season.
P-Phobias:
No major phobias – just some dislikes…
Q-Quote:
If you want your dreams to come true, don’t sleep.
R-Reason to smile:
My children
S-Season:
Spring and Fall
T-Tag three people:
Inbavalli, Bird's eye view, 30in2005
U-Unknown fact about me:
I used to jog regularly at one point in time. I have not jogged for three years now!
V-Vegetable you do not like:
Bitter gourd, Raw tomato
W-Worst habit:
Hmm…postponing things…can’t think of any “worst” habit really…
X-x-rays you have had:
Dental, Shoulder
Y-Your favorite food:
Mom’s “Ilai Vadam”
Z-Zodiac:
Gemini
A -Available?
Not even for myself most of the time these days!
B-Best friend:
Strangely even as a child, I always said I had many close friends, but no one best friend…
C-Cake or Pie?
Cake. Definitely not Pie!
D-Drink of choice:
Hot tea with a lot of sugar!
E-Essential thing used everyday:
Sugar and Salt! If either one was not available at home, I would have to go get it right away!
F-Favourite colour:
Husband says I am only able to see one color – Red
G-Gummi bears or worms:
Neither!
H-Hometown:
Madras
I-Indulgence:
When I spend a lot in getting gifts for my favorite people…esp children. If I were really wealthy, that would be my serious indulgence.
J-January or February:
February – short month with the promise of spring….
K-Kids and names:
KB and KG
L-Life:
When I think of life, I often think of some lines by one of my favorite poets, Kaviarasu Kannadasan. It goes like this: (copy/pasted from some website)
Aasaiye alai pole,
Naamellam athan mele,
Odam pole adiduvome vaazh nalile
Paruvam ennum kaatrrile
parakkum kaathal therile
aanum pennum mahizhvar
suham peruvar - athisayam kaanpaar
Naalai ulahin paathaiyai inre
yaar kaanuvar?
Even in this lyric, Kannadasan reinforces the theme, "sorrows are credit of life, while the joys are debit, with the balance being mere dreams, and who can comprehend the arithmetic of fate?"
M-Marriage date:
January 21
N-Number of siblings:
Five
O-Oranges or apples:
Both, when in season.
P-Phobias:
No major phobias – just some dislikes…
Q-Quote:
If you want your dreams to come true, don’t sleep.
R-Reason to smile:
My children
S-Season:
Spring and Fall
T-Tag three people:
Inbavalli, Bird's eye view, 30in2005
U-Unknown fact about me:
I used to jog regularly at one point in time. I have not jogged for three years now!
V-Vegetable you do not like:
Bitter gourd, Raw tomato
W-Worst habit:
Hmm…postponing things…can’t think of any “worst” habit really…
X-x-rays you have had:
Dental, Shoulder
Y-Your favorite food:
Mom’s “Ilai Vadam”
Z-Zodiac:
Gemini
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Pot calls the kettle black!
I read to KB while giving him breakfast (Ok folks, I am not good a food training, I have to read and play music to feed him! No TV is the best I can do!). On good days, it goes smoothly and we read book after book until he is done. Some days, there are interruptions to go get him his favorite car for him to thumb on the wheels...a music CD to be changed according to his request, a sudden sneeze and splatter that requires me to get a tissue and clean up - all in the middle of giving him his cereal. I try to be patient - not because it comes naturally but because if I am impatient, it only makes matters worse. But on some days, I just cannot find it in me to be patient and I yell or lecture to him on and on about how he is now a big boy and he needs to really eat fast, eat on his own etc.
Anyways - one of the books he has been reading lately is a book called "Time for bed" - which he calls "Thaachi time" book. In it are pictures of a mother asking her daughter to go to bed, while the kid keeps delaying by asking her mother for this and that. On one page, finally when the child settles into bed, she asks her mother, "What were you like mom as a little girl? Did you like to go to bed or did you want to play instead?". This is one of KB's favorite pages. He always pauses on this page a little longer and says "Did you like to Thaachi mamma?"...
This morning, breakfast was not moving fast. He kept looking at the pictures in his books, narrating stories but the cereal was sitting tight in one corner of his mouth. After nearly half an hour of this, I began my "you should eat fast" lecture and was looking positively annoyed. I told him, "KB nee romba paduthre KB! You have to be a good boy OK!" (you are troubling mamma too much, you should be a good boy. Suddenly, he turned to me and said "Did you like to be a good boy Mamma?"!
Wow - was he really wondering? I don't know what he had in mind when he asked me that. He was just asking in the same tone with which we read that particular book. It's just that he asked me that question at the right moment! Somehow that made me stop. Yes, because I know how much I have troubled my mom about eating. And here I was telling him that he should eat fast/well and not trouble Mamma. No dear, I was not a good boy (well, girl!). But what's a mother to do?! I can't tell him to follow in my foot steps and be a picky eater! I just repeated after him and said, "Did you like to be a good boy? Yes! I liked to be a good boy!"
Anyways - one of the books he has been reading lately is a book called "Time for bed" - which he calls "Thaachi time" book. In it are pictures of a mother asking her daughter to go to bed, while the kid keeps delaying by asking her mother for this and that. On one page, finally when the child settles into bed, she asks her mother, "What were you like mom as a little girl? Did you like to go to bed or did you want to play instead?". This is one of KB's favorite pages. He always pauses on this page a little longer and says "Did you like to Thaachi mamma?"...
This morning, breakfast was not moving fast. He kept looking at the pictures in his books, narrating stories but the cereal was sitting tight in one corner of his mouth. After nearly half an hour of this, I began my "you should eat fast" lecture and was looking positively annoyed. I told him, "KB nee romba paduthre KB! You have to be a good boy OK!" (you are troubling mamma too much, you should be a good boy. Suddenly, he turned to me and said "Did you like to be a good boy Mamma?"!
Wow - was he really wondering? I don't know what he had in mind when he asked me that. He was just asking in the same tone with which we read that particular book. It's just that he asked me that question at the right moment! Somehow that made me stop. Yes, because I know how much I have troubled my mom about eating. And here I was telling him that he should eat fast/well and not trouble Mamma. No dear, I was not a good boy (well, girl!). But what's a mother to do?! I can't tell him to follow in my foot steps and be a picky eater! I just repeated after him and said, "Did you like to be a good boy? Yes! I liked to be a good boy!"
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
KB's party talk!
I took KB and KG to a Valentine's day party hosted by one of our neighbors - an elderly couple who now live alone - all their five kids are in college and one of their grand children is now KG's age...it was a party only for women and we had been asked to give a gift of love - a donation to any organization we liked.
It was interesting to see KB in this new setting - full of older white American women who only spoke English, one Iranian woman who spoke no English and could barely understand it.
KB had a small bag of banana chips in his hand and he wandered from the dining/family area (a bunch of women had gathered there to make heart shaped cookies) to the living area. Just then another guest, friend of the couple, a white woman probably in her early 50s walked in. She was very tall and KB looked up at her from way down. She looked at him said" HI! What's your name?"
As usual, he did not answer right away. He looked at her intently craning up his neck and smiled mischievously.
Suddenly he lifted his right hand all the way up and said to her "CHIPS".
And thus he broke the ice.
"Oh you are eating Chips? You like it?"
He smiled again and scampered back into the family room.
Behind the couch in the family room, in the curio cabinet, there were a set of blocks that read "B E A C H". There was another white woman, with a cherubic face and looking very pleasant, probably in her early 60s. She was sitting on the couch. KB went to her and stared at her.
She said "Hello young man, look at those large eyes"!
He immediately looks behind her and starts reading out to her
" B E A C H"...
"Oh, that's right. Do you know what it means? Do you like going to the beach?".
He ignores her comment and says: "B'ku Baa Baa Black Sheep Varum" (For B, the song Baa Baa black sheep comes).
And then goes on to quickly list a whole bunch of other songs from his favorite CD in his Indian accent.
The woman had no idea what he was saying and I told her what he was saying. She laughed and said, Yeah...
And then he suddenly went into the lyrics of one of the songs and said to her:
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed".
"Oh yeah, no more monkeys jumping on the bed, that's right!".
He abruptly shifts gear and says to her "Andha Vaporizer not working" (That Vaporizer is not working! He said that because the previous day I took him along to Target to return the vaporizer I had purchased since it did not work well for us).
Again, she had no clue what he was saying. But somehow he got the sense that she did not understand Tamil and said to her again randomly "I want to go with school" (meaning I went to school - since I had taken him and KG to tour one of the schools).
Before she could respond, he starts singing the whole ABC song to her!
All this with someone he had never met! Somehow he managed to have some conversation with her for some 15 min! It was so cute to watch from behind - the old woman and this little two year old who did not really have a common language having a conversation for that long!
It was interesting to see KB in this new setting - full of older white American women who only spoke English, one Iranian woman who spoke no English and could barely understand it.
KB had a small bag of banana chips in his hand and he wandered from the dining/family area (a bunch of women had gathered there to make heart shaped cookies) to the living area. Just then another guest, friend of the couple, a white woman probably in her early 50s walked in. She was very tall and KB looked up at her from way down. She looked at him said" HI! What's your name?"
As usual, he did not answer right away. He looked at her intently craning up his neck and smiled mischievously.
Suddenly he lifted his right hand all the way up and said to her "CHIPS".
And thus he broke the ice.
"Oh you are eating Chips? You like it?"
He smiled again and scampered back into the family room.
Behind the couch in the family room, in the curio cabinet, there were a set of blocks that read "B E A C H". There was another white woman, with a cherubic face and looking very pleasant, probably in her early 60s. She was sitting on the couch. KB went to her and stared at her.
She said "Hello young man, look at those large eyes"!
He immediately looks behind her and starts reading out to her
" B E A C H"...
"Oh, that's right. Do you know what it means? Do you like going to the beach?".
He ignores her comment and says: "B'ku Baa Baa Black Sheep Varum" (For B, the song Baa Baa black sheep comes).
And then goes on to quickly list a whole bunch of other songs from his favorite CD in his Indian accent.
The woman had no idea what he was saying and I told her what he was saying. She laughed and said, Yeah...
And then he suddenly went into the lyrics of one of the songs and said to her:
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed".
"Oh yeah, no more monkeys jumping on the bed, that's right!".
He abruptly shifts gear and says to her "Andha Vaporizer not working" (That Vaporizer is not working! He said that because the previous day I took him along to Target to return the vaporizer I had purchased since it did not work well for us).
Again, she had no clue what he was saying. But somehow he got the sense that she did not understand Tamil and said to her again randomly "I want to go with school" (meaning I went to school - since I had taken him and KG to tour one of the schools).
Before she could respond, he starts singing the whole ABC song to her!
All this with someone he had never met! Somehow he managed to have some conversation with her for some 15 min! It was so cute to watch from behind - the old woman and this little two year old who did not really have a common language having a conversation for that long!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Here we go again!
Hello all,
This is baby girl - am back again! I was not pleased with mom for deleting the post about my dear brother - since she hardly posts any updates on him as it is. And even if she writes about him, it's hardly in positive light - always ranting about his "meal time battles"! As she was thinking about this while giving me my food this morning, I shouted one loud "Ahhhhn" and told her in no uncertain terms that she ought to just post it again. Like Poppin's mom said wisely, "the cold IS the anti-jinx". I am making sure that my post about my brother sees the light of the day and also I found out that anyway some people read it on google reader - so what's the problem mom!
Tata for now!
Oh, here's the post!
Love to my little friends from baby girl!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brother is now 2.5 yrs old!
Hello All! With all the encouragement and cheers I received the last time I spoke, I was inspired to do it again. Except this time, I want to give an update on my brother who turns 2.5 yrs old on Feb.3.08. My mom seems hopeless with posting regular updates about us and my brother – oh boy – he will run far away if I asked him to talk about himself. It looks to me like I am going to become the spokesperson for this family at the going rate! Also, please pardon, I can’t write about him without also writing about myself a little since we are always together.
So mom has already raved about how my brother has started eating better – hah hah, hats off to me since she thinks I had a role in this! But I honestly think my brother deserves more credit. He really is a very sensitive and sweet kid and he really knows when he has pushed mom to her limits and responds to it. You should see him when mom and dad are fighting – those two minutes when they are in the thick of their arguments – they are so loud – I feel like telling them to “sush” a little – but hey, I like to shout and cry loudly myself on occasion – so I just let it be. Anyway – when they are yelling at each other, my sweet, barely 2.5 yr old brother, intervenes and says “Daddy, Mamma’va kochi pannadhe…Mamma, Daddy’ve kochi pannadhe!” (Daddy, don’t get mad at mamma). And especially if my mom looks sad, he just runs to her and hugs her legs and says, “KB wants to hug mamma”! And that’s it, she immediately turns liquid! But mom won’t let it pass. In her irritated mood, she will turn to my dad and say, “See, your son is so sweet and loving” – read, you are not! Gosh, why do adults fight so much?! Especially when they have such, ahem, awesome kids like my brother and myself!
Oh speaking of loving etc – a lot of people, including dad, tell my mom that she has a bit of soft corner for my brother over me. I am not too bothered by this – hey, I am the daughter, I know for sure mom’s going to have a different kind of, but equally strong bond with me. Mom just feels bad for my brother because he is so nice overall. She is one of those – if someone is nice, she just melts and feels bad for them.
My brother will be joining preschool probably in July or Aug of this year. I will miss him those 3-4 hours he will not be home. The three of us – mom, my brother and myself are always together all the time pretty much until dad comes home – by when I am fast asleep anyway. But it may be fun to have mom to myself for sometime I think. My mom worries more about how he will cope with kids who are much bigger than him and are more aggressive than him. She recently went to meet a playgroup in the park and saw that the kids there were all quite aggressive in the slide and the see-saw. My brother loves people watching and when he sees a bunch of kids in a group moving fast and pushing etc, he just amuses himself by sitting back and watching. My mother, the worry worm that she is, thinks may be he is scared and that’s why he is sitting back and watching them. My brother is really one of those “thinking” types – he spaces out and opens his already big eyes wide and stares into space and thinks god knows about what. He just likes to sit, watch and drift off into his thoughts. Mom needn’t worry so much about all this! When kids come home, he is very friendly and shares his toys. Only on occasion if some kid grabs something he is playing with at that moment, he really insists that it be given back to him. He loves it when people visit us and is quite friendly – of course you all know that still doesn’t mean he will let them get too close to him too soon. A couple of days stay and then he is OK if they carry him a little or take him to the park behind our house.
Another change in my brother in the last couple of months – he never used to like story books. But these days he enjoys books like “Goodnight Moon”, “Goodnight Gorilla” and “Biscuit” books. He loves the “Wonder books” series from the public library. Mom makes up little stories from the pictures on each page. He loves fables and mom twists the old “kaka story” about the crow who drank water by talking about how the crow first sat in the tree in our back yard and then mentions all our friends and then goes on to tell him how the crow managed to get water to quench his thirst…and then suddenly it was night time and the “Stireet light” (as my brother says) turned on and so the kaka had to go home, eat “mum mum” and “thaachi” (sleep). My mother can’t help but weave in this whole mum mum thing whenever she gets a chance. She says to him, “Appram yenna pannithu kaka, chamatha mum mum saatutu, thachi panna poidthu” (Kaka ate his meal well and went to bed).
My brother also loves “Dasharatha story” – somehow it is established that only dad reads Amar chitra katha to him. Dad is really good at this – he is so dramatic and really brings it down to a level my brother can somewhat understand. My brother also loves “Calvin and Hobbes”. He makes mom read it to him every now and then during his meals. When dad gets home from work, he will get excited and will want to say something to him immediately. And just abruptly, as soon as dad enters the house, he will tell him “Suzie Calvin’a kochi pannithu. Snow ball thooki pottudhu Calvin”. (Calvin got mad at Suzie for throwing a snow ball at him).
Oh speaking of books, the other day my brother read this book called “Max goes to the barber” with my mom. (The lady who cut my brother’s hair decided to change profession after that – he just brought the roof down!). And the day she got the book from the library, they must have read it some 10 times. My brother knows all the alphabets in upper case and about 18 of them in lower case. He gets confused between “b”, “d”, “p” and also “g”, “h” and “q”. “q” he says is “small “p”. Anyway – mom really doesn’t worry about teaching him alphabets etc. She just casually reads these “Elmo’s favorite letter” type books to him but he now seems to enjoy pointing to all the different alphabets. Back to “Max the barber”. After mom read the book to him, he closed it and he pointed to the title and said “M, A, X - Max” and mom got all excited that he read it on his own and immediately called up dad and said “B, you know what, KB read “Max” on his own! My God, I thought that was a bit too much. First of all, it’s just one word! And secondly, she read it to him so many times, obviously he will know it is “Max”. Anyway – parents are a different breed altogether looks like! They just make a big deal of every thing we kids do!
Ok, I thought I was good at talking about myself. Looks like, I enjoy talking even more about my brother. I forgot to mention his obsessive streak. If he likes something, it is an obsession always. For example, my mom’s cousin got him this really annoying (but boys seem to love it) “weazel ball”.
Mom could not stand the sight of that rodent rolling all over the house, so she threw it out but kept the motorized ball, which is actually very cool toy. You won’t believe how many days it just went on and on in our house. He would wake up in the morning and ask for this ball! He would wake from his nap and ask for it! The ball was getting on my mom and dad’s nerves, but the delight on his face when they gave it to him – he used to chuckle with joy when the ball rolled under his bed and made noises and then came out on it’s own. He was mad about this ball.
For my brother, if something is broken, he will immediately throw it in the trash if it is not fixed. Perfect or else throw it out. For ex – he just loves this “Surya car” (he got it at Surya’s party). I mean he just loves** this car – always turning it’s wheels with his thumbs, opening and closing it’s doors etc. The other day, he noticed the tail light had fallen off - his sense of order was so disturbed, in an instant, he told mom “Trash’le podu”. She could not believe it – a car that he loved so much, how is he able to part with it so easily! Complete detachment! My parents are crazy – they felt so bad about him parting with that car – dad went and got “Super glue” from “Target” that same night and fixed the light back on this toy car! My brother needless to say was super thrilled!
His obsession with music – some music is always playing in the background at our place. Surely so, when we go in the car. And he decides what music. He picks CDs from my parent’s CD rack and asks mom to play things randomly. The other day, he brought to her a “Leonard Cohen” CD and asked her to play it. Mom thought he would surely ask her to turn it off soon after the first song. But when mom was recording our antics on video camera and the music was playing in the background, he told mom, “Uncle romba nanna padarar” (Uncle sings so well)! Wait till my uncle, who is a die hard carnatic music fan sees this video! He will ask my mom why she is playing such “random music” for her children!
Ok folks. I better stop here. I have gone on way too long here. I feel my mom rarely writes updates and this will be good for her to look at a few years from now. So tried to talk about all that came to my mind while writing this. I love my dear brother! Happy half year birthday, my sweet brother!
This is baby girl - am back again! I was not pleased with mom for deleting the post about my dear brother - since she hardly posts any updates on him as it is. And even if she writes about him, it's hardly in positive light - always ranting about his "meal time battles"! As she was thinking about this while giving me my food this morning, I shouted one loud "Ahhhhn" and told her in no uncertain terms that she ought to just post it again. Like Poppin's mom said wisely, "the cold IS the anti-jinx". I am making sure that my post about my brother sees the light of the day and also I found out that anyway some people read it on google reader - so what's the problem mom!
Tata for now!
Oh, here's the post!
Love to my little friends from baby girl!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brother is now 2.5 yrs old!
Hello All! With all the encouragement and cheers I received the last time I spoke, I was inspired to do it again. Except this time, I want to give an update on my brother who turns 2.5 yrs old on Feb.3.08. My mom seems hopeless with posting regular updates about us and my brother – oh boy – he will run far away if I asked him to talk about himself. It looks to me like I am going to become the spokesperson for this family at the going rate! Also, please pardon, I can’t write about him without also writing about myself a little since we are always together.
So mom has already raved about how my brother has started eating better – hah hah, hats off to me since she thinks I had a role in this! But I honestly think my brother deserves more credit. He really is a very sensitive and sweet kid and he really knows when he has pushed mom to her limits and responds to it. You should see him when mom and dad are fighting – those two minutes when they are in the thick of their arguments – they are so loud – I feel like telling them to “sush” a little – but hey, I like to shout and cry loudly myself on occasion – so I just let it be. Anyway – when they are yelling at each other, my sweet, barely 2.5 yr old brother, intervenes and says “Daddy, Mamma’va kochi pannadhe…Mamma, Daddy’ve kochi pannadhe!” (Daddy, don’t get mad at mamma). And especially if my mom looks sad, he just runs to her and hugs her legs and says, “KB wants to hug mamma”! And that’s it, she immediately turns liquid! But mom won’t let it pass. In her irritated mood, she will turn to my dad and say, “See, your son is so sweet and loving” – read, you are not! Gosh, why do adults fight so much?! Especially when they have such, ahem, awesome kids like my brother and myself!
Oh speaking of loving etc – a lot of people, including dad, tell my mom that she has a bit of soft corner for my brother over me. I am not too bothered by this – hey, I am the daughter, I know for sure mom’s going to have a different kind of, but equally strong bond with me. Mom just feels bad for my brother because he is so nice overall. She is one of those – if someone is nice, she just melts and feels bad for them.
My brother will be joining preschool probably in July or Aug of this year. I will miss him those 3-4 hours he will not be home. The three of us – mom, my brother and myself are always together all the time pretty much until dad comes home – by when I am fast asleep anyway. But it may be fun to have mom to myself for sometime I think. My mom worries more about how he will cope with kids who are much bigger than him and are more aggressive than him. She recently went to meet a playgroup in the park and saw that the kids there were all quite aggressive in the slide and the see-saw. My brother loves people watching and when he sees a bunch of kids in a group moving fast and pushing etc, he just amuses himself by sitting back and watching. My mother, the worry worm that she is, thinks may be he is scared and that’s why he is sitting back and watching them. My brother is really one of those “thinking” types – he spaces out and opens his already big eyes wide and stares into space and thinks god knows about what. He just likes to sit, watch and drift off into his thoughts. Mom needn’t worry so much about all this! When kids come home, he is very friendly and shares his toys. Only on occasion if some kid grabs something he is playing with at that moment, he really insists that it be given back to him. He loves it when people visit us and is quite friendly – of course you all know that still doesn’t mean he will let them get too close to him too soon. A couple of days stay and then he is OK if they carry him a little or take him to the park behind our house.
Another change in my brother in the last couple of months – he never used to like story books. But these days he enjoys books like “Goodnight Moon”, “Goodnight Gorilla” and “Biscuit” books. He loves the “Wonder books” series from the public library. Mom makes up little stories from the pictures on each page. He loves fables and mom twists the old “kaka story” about the crow who drank water by talking about how the crow first sat in the tree in our back yard and then mentions all our friends and then goes on to tell him how the crow managed to get water to quench his thirst…and then suddenly it was night time and the “Stireet light” (as my brother says) turned on and so the kaka had to go home, eat “mum mum” and “thaachi” (sleep). My mother can’t help but weave in this whole mum mum thing whenever she gets a chance. She says to him, “Appram yenna pannithu kaka, chamatha mum mum saatutu, thachi panna poidthu” (Kaka ate his meal well and went to bed).
My brother also loves “Dasharatha story” – somehow it is established that only dad reads Amar chitra katha to him. Dad is really good at this – he is so dramatic and really brings it down to a level my brother can somewhat understand. My brother also loves “Calvin and Hobbes”. He makes mom read it to him every now and then during his meals. When dad gets home from work, he will get excited and will want to say something to him immediately. And just abruptly, as soon as dad enters the house, he will tell him “Suzie Calvin’a kochi pannithu. Snow ball thooki pottudhu Calvin”. (Calvin got mad at Suzie for throwing a snow ball at him).
Oh speaking of books, the other day my brother read this book called “Max goes to the barber” with my mom. (The lady who cut my brother’s hair decided to change profession after that – he just brought the roof down!). And the day she got the book from the library, they must have read it some 10 times. My brother knows all the alphabets in upper case and about 18 of them in lower case. He gets confused between “b”, “d”, “p” and also “g”, “h” and “q”. “q” he says is “small “p”. Anyway – mom really doesn’t worry about teaching him alphabets etc. She just casually reads these “Elmo’s favorite letter” type books to him but he now seems to enjoy pointing to all the different alphabets. Back to “Max the barber”. After mom read the book to him, he closed it and he pointed to the title and said “M, A, X - Max” and mom got all excited that he read it on his own and immediately called up dad and said “B, you know what, KB read “Max” on his own! My God, I thought that was a bit too much. First of all, it’s just one word! And secondly, she read it to him so many times, obviously he will know it is “Max”. Anyway – parents are a different breed altogether looks like! They just make a big deal of every thing we kids do!
Ok, I thought I was good at talking about myself. Looks like, I enjoy talking even more about my brother. I forgot to mention his obsessive streak. If he likes something, it is an obsession always. For example, my mom’s cousin got him this really annoying (but boys seem to love it) “weazel ball”.
Mom could not stand the sight of that rodent rolling all over the house, so she threw it out but kept the motorized ball, which is actually very cool toy. You won’t believe how many days it just went on and on in our house. He would wake up in the morning and ask for this ball! He would wake from his nap and ask for it! The ball was getting on my mom and dad’s nerves, but the delight on his face when they gave it to him – he used to chuckle with joy when the ball rolled under his bed and made noises and then came out on it’s own. He was mad about this ball.
For my brother, if something is broken, he will immediately throw it in the trash if it is not fixed. Perfect or else throw it out. For ex – he just loves this “Surya car” (he got it at Surya’s party). I mean he just loves** this car – always turning it’s wheels with his thumbs, opening and closing it’s doors etc. The other day, he noticed the tail light had fallen off - his sense of order was so disturbed, in an instant, he told mom “Trash’le podu”. She could not believe it – a car that he loved so much, how is he able to part with it so easily! Complete detachment! My parents are crazy – they felt so bad about him parting with that car – dad went and got “Super glue” from “Target” that same night and fixed the light back on this toy car! My brother needless to say was super thrilled!
His obsession with music – some music is always playing in the background at our place. Surely so, when we go in the car. And he decides what music. He picks CDs from my parent’s CD rack and asks mom to play things randomly. The other day, he brought to her a “Leonard Cohen” CD and asked her to play it. Mom thought he would surely ask her to turn it off soon after the first song. But when mom was recording our antics on video camera and the music was playing in the background, he told mom, “Uncle romba nanna padarar” (Uncle sings so well)! Wait till my uncle, who is a die hard carnatic music fan sees this video! He will ask my mom why she is playing such “random music” for her children!
Ok folks. I better stop here. I have gone on way too long here. I feel my mom rarely writes updates and this will be good for her to look at a few years from now. So tried to talk about all that came to my mind while writing this. I love my dear brother! Happy half year birthday, my sweet brother!
Saturday, February 09, 2008
On being blessed...
There are some moments in the day when you feel a sense of contentment and an overall good feeling. To me, one such trivial (non-trivial personally) moment each day is when I make both kids take their afternoon nap and run downstairs and make tea for myself. I come back to the study (these days KB sleeps in the study on the pull out Elmo couch) and take that first sip of hot tea as I begin to check my mail and then read a few blog posts before either child wakes up from his/her usual restlessness. That moment is one of satisfaction – at having completed the duties of that day so far, a load off the back that once the nap time is done, the rest of the day should be more easy and manageable. It is a moment of pleasure – to have the luxury of time, however little, to sit in the company of your children, yet have that moment to yourself…to feel connected to friends through email…to be able to enjoy reading something well written (when I read some blog posts) while sipping a cup of hot tea….to sit in a warm and cozy room on a cold day….it just feels good overall. I feel that same joy multiplied every night when I go to bed (usually the last person to do so) and feel connected in that physical space – the four of us, together, feeling warm and resting for the night. I never linger much on that thought – I just immediately thank the creator for that feeling…for that blessing.
Yesterday, as I sat down to have my tea, I was reading an article in National Geographic on the migration of illegal immigrants from Central America to Mexico and then to the United States. I quote here a part of that essay:
“Before the Lópezes left Managua, they had heard the counsel repeated now in certain poor neighborhoods of Central America: If you are leaving for El Norte, find Padre Flor Maria Rigoni in the city of Tapachula, 20 miles north of the border, because the first dangerous crossing you will make is not the one that takes you into the United States. It is at the southern Mexican border where the perils begin—the thugs, the drug runners, the extortionists in official uniforms, the police and migration agents who pack undocumented migrants into detention facilities before forcing them onto buses to be deported. The Tapachula migration station was recently rebuilt, to hold 960 migrants and process them more quickly; the southward-bound buses roll out every morning before dawn.
The Lópezes rode for hours in the 90-degree heat, Jessenia standing on blocks attached to both sides of the bicycle’s rear wheel. She carried her shopping bag in the crook of her arm and kept her hands on Armando’s shoulders as he pedaled, avoiding migration checkpoints by veering at intervals off the pavement and onto dirt paths. They had remarkably good luck. No one assaulted them with machetes or rifles or handmade pistols fashioned from PVC pipes stuffed with gunpowder; no one beat Armando and dragged Jessenia into the weeds; no one forced them to undress so that their body cavities and secret sewn-in clothing pockets could be examined for hidden money. No passing taxi driver decided to collect a payoff that day by alerting muggers or immigration officials that a vulnerable-looking couple was approaching on the road.”
I read such stories and I wonder about them later. Did they make it to the USA? Did they manage to get their two-year old child to join them? As I sit down and feel that opposing force pulling me to complain about all that I don’t have – I ponder about such people who have to toil and risk their lives in the hope of a better life for their children. I have to remind myself constantly that I am blessed in many ways. I am grateful for everything, from the most trivial like my hot tea to the bigger blessings – my children, my husband and family. I shudder to think of this balance in my life being disturbed in anyway. If I put myself in the shoes of the people mentioned in this article, I feel a shiver run down my spine. There are people suffering far worse and there are people who cruise through life without any problems what so ever. We will never figure out the rhythm to the dance of destiny and why people go through what they go through. The only thing I can do is to acknowledge all the blessings I have, and in some sense a lot of the people around me have. I can only wish for life to be good to those who have been very unfortunate in many ways and pray for them. It is this train of thought that made me pass on the blessings to the many unknown people I read about and wish for them a better life….and to all of you who do happen to read this post.
P.S - Lavs, this is in response to your "Blessings" tag by the way. Thanks again!
Yesterday, as I sat down to have my tea, I was reading an article in National Geographic on the migration of illegal immigrants from Central America to Mexico and then to the United States. I quote here a part of that essay:
“Before the Lópezes left Managua, they had heard the counsel repeated now in certain poor neighborhoods of Central America: If you are leaving for El Norte, find Padre Flor Maria Rigoni in the city of Tapachula, 20 miles north of the border, because the first dangerous crossing you will make is not the one that takes you into the United States. It is at the southern Mexican border where the perils begin—the thugs, the drug runners, the extortionists in official uniforms, the police and migration agents who pack undocumented migrants into detention facilities before forcing them onto buses to be deported. The Tapachula migration station was recently rebuilt, to hold 960 migrants and process them more quickly; the southward-bound buses roll out every morning before dawn.
The Lópezes rode for hours in the 90-degree heat, Jessenia standing on blocks attached to both sides of the bicycle’s rear wheel. She carried her shopping bag in the crook of her arm and kept her hands on Armando’s shoulders as he pedaled, avoiding migration checkpoints by veering at intervals off the pavement and onto dirt paths. They had remarkably good luck. No one assaulted them with machetes or rifles or handmade pistols fashioned from PVC pipes stuffed with gunpowder; no one beat Armando and dragged Jessenia into the weeds; no one forced them to undress so that their body cavities and secret sewn-in clothing pockets could be examined for hidden money. No passing taxi driver decided to collect a payoff that day by alerting muggers or immigration officials that a vulnerable-looking couple was approaching on the road.”
I read such stories and I wonder about them later. Did they make it to the USA? Did they manage to get their two-year old child to join them? As I sit down and feel that opposing force pulling me to complain about all that I don’t have – I ponder about such people who have to toil and risk their lives in the hope of a better life for their children. I have to remind myself constantly that I am blessed in many ways. I am grateful for everything, from the most trivial like my hot tea to the bigger blessings – my children, my husband and family. I shudder to think of this balance in my life being disturbed in anyway. If I put myself in the shoes of the people mentioned in this article, I feel a shiver run down my spine. There are people suffering far worse and there are people who cruise through life without any problems what so ever. We will never figure out the rhythm to the dance of destiny and why people go through what they go through. The only thing I can do is to acknowledge all the blessings I have, and in some sense a lot of the people around me have. I can only wish for life to be good to those who have been very unfortunate in many ways and pray for them. It is this train of thought that made me pass on the blessings to the many unknown people I read about and wish for them a better life….and to all of you who do happen to read this post.
P.S - Lavs, this is in response to your "Blessings" tag by the way. Thanks again!
Friday, February 08, 2008
KB snippets
KB woke up from his nap the other day and came downstairs with me. He ran to the dining table and got the pile of books and brought them all to the couch patiently carrying them couple at a time...He had woken up in a good mood and gave me a sweet smile and said "Mamma, I want to read books".
I told him that we can read, but first he has to tell me what he wanted to eat...
"Book padikalam, but first nee sollu, Yenna sapadre? Bagel and cream cheese? Mac n Cheese? Waffle?" (We will read, but first tell me what do you want to eat?).
He turns towards me, thinks and pauses...he opens his mouth points towards the toaster (behind that wall is the living room with the couch and the books) and says:
"I want to..."
And I thought to myself "Oh wow, he is thinking about it and making a choice from these items"...
"I want to...read book!".
I laughed at the way he gave me hope (unintentionally) and said this so softly.
And I said "Seri, first tell me what do you want to eat? Bagel Sapadraya?"
KB quietly replied in his Tanglish "I am going to..close vai" (I am going to close mouth!).
End of story. I just gave him milk and read to him while he drank his milk!
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Among the pile of books, his current top favorite is "Firefighter". It is a great first level reader book. Just one word on each page.
KB loves the dramatic rescue of the kitty cat in this book. Though it has only one word in each page, this is the book he first wants to read - it gives him room to imagine, recreate and talk about it in his own words. With animated expression, he tells me what is going on in each page. Especially when it gets to the fire hydrant page, he is all excited and says "Fire hydrant'le pliers pottu, screw driver pottu, thorandhu, hose connect panni...bzzzz....bzzzz...water fire mele pottu...F...irr...ee offf!", he finishes off in sing song tone! (They will use the plier and screw-driver and connect the hose to the hydrant and throw water on the fire and turn it off).
I plan to get more such one word per page books. He also loves the one line per page "Wonder books". Will post about them later.
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I told him that we can read, but first he has to tell me what he wanted to eat...
"Book padikalam, but first nee sollu, Yenna sapadre? Bagel and cream cheese? Mac n Cheese? Waffle?" (We will read, but first tell me what do you want to eat?).
He turns towards me, thinks and pauses...he opens his mouth points towards the toaster (behind that wall is the living room with the couch and the books) and says:
"I want to..."
And I thought to myself "Oh wow, he is thinking about it and making a choice from these items"...
"I want to...read book!".
I laughed at the way he gave me hope (unintentionally) and said this so softly.
And I said "Seri, first tell me what do you want to eat? Bagel Sapadraya?"
KB quietly replied in his Tanglish "I am going to..close vai" (I am going to close mouth!).
End of story. I just gave him milk and read to him while he drank his milk!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Among the pile of books, his current top favorite is "Firefighter". It is a great first level reader book. Just one word on each page.
KB loves the dramatic rescue of the kitty cat in this book. Though it has only one word in each page, this is the book he first wants to read - it gives him room to imagine, recreate and talk about it in his own words. With animated expression, he tells me what is going on in each page. Especially when it gets to the fire hydrant page, he is all excited and says "Fire hydrant'le pliers pottu, screw driver pottu, thorandhu, hose connect panni...bzzzz....bzzzz...water fire mele pottu...F...irr...ee offf!", he finishes off in sing song tone! (They will use the plier and screw-driver and connect the hose to the hydrant and throw water on the fire and turn it off).
I plan to get more such one word per page books. He also loves the one line per page "Wonder books". Will post about them later.
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Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Wondernoon - Cliffsnotes
I suppose the title in itself reflects the narcissism at play here! Well, this tag is supposed to be a quick guide to the person who hasn't known you for long and a reminder of why they do come back to read you - for those who are regulars at your blog. TAAmommy, my new blog pal, has tagged me. The rules of the tag:
Rules For The Tag
Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
I hardly go back to read my own posts. This gave me reason to look at a few posts again - it brought back memories of the time during which I wrote them....of the people I wrote about...
Family: Two posts came to mind when I thought of "family" posts. Here is one about my father and the other about the four of us at home here.
Friend: This is a post about my recent trip with both my kids and how my friend and his wife (also my friend!) were so warm and helpful...
Yourself: This is me - a true Geminian - extrovert, silly, laughs a lot - one side of me...introvert, introspective, self-deprecatory, restless, wonders about life/people a lot...
your love: The tag that brought on a host of interesting love stories that I thoroughly enjoyed and also resulted in some spin off clubs called the Green sulk club etc! Oh well, here's my love story!
Anything you like: I love music, love dreaming of being able to sing like a concert musician and I enjoy creativity of any sort - music, writing, sewing... I also love to write...somehow this story that I wrote in my early blogging days is a reflection of all that.
OK I tag now:
DDmom (no excuses!)
Aryans mom
Cantaloupe
And my new blog pals:
Lavs
Neera
Choxbox
Sumana
Rules For The Tag
Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.
I hardly go back to read my own posts. This gave me reason to look at a few posts again - it brought back memories of the time during which I wrote them....of the people I wrote about...
Family: Two posts came to mind when I thought of "family" posts. Here is one about my father and the other about the four of us at home here.
Friend: This is a post about my recent trip with both my kids and how my friend and his wife (also my friend!) were so warm and helpful...
Yourself: This is me - a true Geminian - extrovert, silly, laughs a lot - one side of me...introvert, introspective, self-deprecatory, restless, wonders about life/people a lot...
your love: The tag that brought on a host of interesting love stories that I thoroughly enjoyed and also resulted in some spin off clubs called the Green sulk club etc! Oh well, here's my love story!
Anything you like: I love music, love dreaming of being able to sing like a concert musician and I enjoy creativity of any sort - music, writing, sewing... I also love to write...somehow this story that I wrote in my early blogging days is a reflection of all that.
OK I tag now:
DDmom (no excuses!)
Aryans mom
Cantaloupe
And my new blog pals:
Lavs
Neera
Choxbox
Sumana
Monday, February 04, 2008
I knew it!
I picked up a loud speaker and announced to the entire world as to how KB has started eating better and how this is the first break through in his eating in the two years I have given him solid food. I am normally one to be afraid to even acknowledge such things to myself let alone say it so loudly! Well, I do say things loudly even if I am bit nervous about jinxing things myself. Nothing like a mother's own "nazar" for her child, as they say! Most often, when I feel excited, something goes wrong and brings me down to earth.
KB turned 2.5 years old on Feb.3.08 and I was quite excited about this half year birthday even more than I was when he turned two. May be because I was still reeling in the excitement of how really grown up he seemed in just the last one month...he is (was) eating better...he is able to express emotions at a different level than just crying...he talks and communicates a lot more than when he turned two...I am (finally) thinking about potty training him soon (OK you moms in India who potty train your kids when they are crawling - skip this line and move on!)...I am beginning to look for preschools for him...he is able to read letters and is able to relate to stories well and tell them back to us later...so many changes in him now more than when he turned two. Not that I consciously thought about it - but somehow I was quite excited about it. I didn't plan any party - I was thinking about trying the eggless cake (recipe from dotmom) if I had time or just buy a cake and have my close friend and her son (who is KB's friend) come over after dinner and just have a good time for an hour or so. That was my plan on Friday evening.
I wrote a 2.5yr update for KB - well, baby girl wrote it - I posted it on Friday night. Saturday evening, we took KB to the play area in the mall. It had rained on Saturday and after we got back home KB had a full blown cold. He threw up the moment I gave him a spoonful of food. He then asked me to give him Mac n Cheese - I gave it to him - he had a few spoons of the macroni and didn't want anymore. Pretty much he ate nothing for dinner. He went to bed hungry, nose stuffed up and kept tossing and turning - I was afraid he would throw up, so I made him sleep next to us and made sure he had a blanket over him and I kept his head raised. I had very little sleep on Sat night. Yesterday, he thankfully ate OK for lunch. But same story for dinner.
He threw up the moment I gave him any food. Tried a bunch of things and gave up. He skipped breakfast this morning. He only wanted to drink Gatorade - I just gave him what he asked for - as long as he got some fluids in I was happy. In essence, I jinxed the whole thing! I was not in a celebratory mood on Sat night what with KB looking tired with hunger and not being able to breathe comfortably...I just deleted my long post about his 2.5 yr update! It had links to some his favorite books, toys and what not. Sorry baby girl - you wrote about your brother - I took the liberty to delete that post!
He insisted he will only eat bagel today - Murphy's law - we ran out of bagels at home! I wanted him to get some solid food in - so took both kids to the bagel shop and he ate half a bagel - just the bread part, no crust below. Thankfully baby girl had a good time too looking around. But I had to stop at half a bagel and bring them home because she was sleepy. Once we got home, KB didn't want to eat any more bagel.
It's just a cold, nothing big I know - but he hasn't had a real cold/throwing up etc since last Feb - so I was nervous how I will handle it if he were to be cranky all day and I had to attend to baby girl also. So far they are being good..hopefully he will resume normal eating soon. Dotmom, I should have used your nimbu anti jinx graphic when I even mentally thought to myself that he is eating better and that somehow we managed to escape the "cold" for one year!
KB turned 2.5 years old on Feb.3.08 and I was quite excited about this half year birthday even more than I was when he turned two. May be because I was still reeling in the excitement of how really grown up he seemed in just the last one month...he is (was) eating better...he is able to express emotions at a different level than just crying...he talks and communicates a lot more than when he turned two...I am (finally) thinking about potty training him soon (OK you moms in India who potty train your kids when they are crawling - skip this line and move on!)...I am beginning to look for preschools for him...he is able to read letters and is able to relate to stories well and tell them back to us later...so many changes in him now more than when he turned two. Not that I consciously thought about it - but somehow I was quite excited about it. I didn't plan any party - I was thinking about trying the eggless cake (recipe from dotmom) if I had time or just buy a cake and have my close friend and her son (who is KB's friend) come over after dinner and just have a good time for an hour or so. That was my plan on Friday evening.
I wrote a 2.5yr update for KB - well, baby girl wrote it - I posted it on Friday night. Saturday evening, we took KB to the play area in the mall. It had rained on Saturday and after we got back home KB had a full blown cold. He threw up the moment I gave him a spoonful of food. He then asked me to give him Mac n Cheese - I gave it to him - he had a few spoons of the macroni and didn't want anymore. Pretty much he ate nothing for dinner. He went to bed hungry, nose stuffed up and kept tossing and turning - I was afraid he would throw up, so I made him sleep next to us and made sure he had a blanket over him and I kept his head raised. I had very little sleep on Sat night. Yesterday, he thankfully ate OK for lunch. But same story for dinner.
He threw up the moment I gave him any food. Tried a bunch of things and gave up. He skipped breakfast this morning. He only wanted to drink Gatorade - I just gave him what he asked for - as long as he got some fluids in I was happy. In essence, I jinxed the whole thing! I was not in a celebratory mood on Sat night what with KB looking tired with hunger and not being able to breathe comfortably...I just deleted my long post about his 2.5 yr update! It had links to some his favorite books, toys and what not. Sorry baby girl - you wrote about your brother - I took the liberty to delete that post!
He insisted he will only eat bagel today - Murphy's law - we ran out of bagels at home! I wanted him to get some solid food in - so took both kids to the bagel shop and he ate half a bagel - just the bread part, no crust below. Thankfully baby girl had a good time too looking around. But I had to stop at half a bagel and bring them home because she was sleepy. Once we got home, KB didn't want to eat any more bagel.
It's just a cold, nothing big I know - but he hasn't had a real cold/throwing up etc since last Feb - so I was nervous how I will handle it if he were to be cranky all day and I had to attend to baby girl also. So far they are being good..hopefully he will resume normal eating soon. Dotmom, I should have used your nimbu anti jinx graphic when I even mentally thought to myself that he is eating better and that somehow we managed to escape the "cold" for one year!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
From 60 to 50 to 45 to 27!
That is the number of minutes to give my dear son his meal!
KB and I have gone through some kind of learning process together in the last two weeks! He has been a difficult eater - mostly because he is extremely slow...plus he loves to read or talk about some story or sing some song while having food in his mouth. Two other things - he used to open his mouth just a tiny bit for each spoon and he really (even now) cannot ingest too much food at once or he tends to gag. I have a very strong gag reflex to (as commented upon by my dentist, that it is stronger than he has seen in most people) and he is the same way. So if I try to shove more food than he is comfortable with, he just pukes it out. In all, this has been a battle of sorts for both me and KB. It wasn't as much of a problem before baby girl arrived - I would grit and bear and sit through what ever time it took to feed him. Now I am less patient and also have less time. And I also have baby girl who is spoiling me with her amazing - zip, zap, done mode of eating! In all this, both B and I discovered that the main reason why baby girl finishes her food fast is just from the simple fact that she opens her mouth much wider.
B has been working late for the past two weeks. As it is, he comes home around 8.00 - 8.15pm from work. The last few weeks he has been coming anywhere from 9 - 11.00 pm. You can imagine the drain on me mentally to suddenly be alone until bedtime. He would be tired when he got home, so naturally he would just go to bed. He was just not available for me most of the time even when he was home. And I think KB too missed him a lot - the one or two hours at night when he spends time with his dear daddy.
One morning, I think on Jan 13, I gave KB his lunch. Usual dal/rice/vegetable combo.
He kept asking me for some book or the other, ones that were not in the basket under the dining table - so I had to keep getting up to go get him the ones he wanted. And he asked for some CD or the other to be played. He then asked me to warm up his food again. I just lost my patience (partly because I was really exhausted mentally from feeling like I am doing all the work for the kids) and yelled at him. Yelled is an understatement. I was sounding like a maniac, I am ashamed to say. I told him very loudly, "Open your mouth - BIGGG'aaa"! "Don't open it like a little bird, open it like a tiger...AAAAAAA...appdi open pannu, big big big" I shouted at him. He was really angry, upset and started yelling back at me and crying saying "SMALL'aaa" and he was in tears. I usually hug him right away if I even yell at him mildly - but I was so upset, tired of so many months of my hoping that he will get better at eating and nothing really changing...I just had no patience that day. I was myself hungry (I should have had some juice at least, but I didn't) and baby girl was sitting the bouncer and I had to eat, then feed her and then make the kids take their nap. I just let him cry it out.
For the first time, he sulked and looked really sad. After he ate, he just sat on the "moda" stool by the CD rack and looked outside and sat very quietly looking really sad. He just looked outside the window and kept listening to music that was playing. I wrote about this in this post. KB normally after lunch is a very happy and extra energetic and immediately hops on his chicco train and goes for a round and then pulls up near baby girl and pulls her hand or plays with her...to see him looking so quiet and sitting in one place for so long was really scary for me. It was all too heart breaking for me.
That night, he asked me to read this book called "When Daddy goes away" - about a father who has to travel on work and comes back home. That's when I realized it was a culmination of two things - my yelling too much at him and daddy not spending any time with him for a few days all of a sudden. I was so nervous about his behavior that day that I called my sister (the pediatrician) and asked her if kids can get that upset or depressed...B got very mad at me for using the word depressed. He said I was being so paranoid and dramatic. We got into an argument over this. This wasn't helping the situation any. The next day B emailed me some links about making meal times pleasant for your child. Somehow those two days became somewhat emotionally charged at home. It is amazing how just the previous day I complained to B that KB is such a fighter and that he is just not afraid of anything I say to him and will only do what he wants...and here I was so worried that he was suddenly not fighting me back instead looking so sad and down. I just could not take it. It was too heart breaking for me. I hugged him and kissed him and that night I just made him have as little as he wanted for his meal. I even let him skip dinner the next day.
Somehow in all this drama, we both seem to have emerged the better. I am now more aware that a)he is now more grown up and he can express emotions more like an adult - not cry loudly but look sad and feel sad. He was missing his father and conveyed it by asking me specifically to read that book a few times. b)if he is not able to eat fast, it is not fair to push him to do so at any point - does not matter if I have been patient for two years, I am not allowed to push him unfairly before he is able to do it on his own willingly.
KB too seems to have gone through some learning experience in this. That he can actually open his mouth just a little wider. He sees his sister eating her meal so fast and I also tell him - just to make him feel good - to tell her "Samatha sapadnum. Big'aa vai thorandhu sapdanum" (You should be good and eat well. You should open your mouth wide and eat). After she finishes, I tell him "See, just like you told her, she opened her mouth big'aa and she ate fast"! Somehow I think this has had an impact on him. It may just be that he is more grown up now. But I have a feeling seeing his sister eat fast along with the emotional show down we had the other day is making him put more of an effort in this regard. It is heart breaking - he is such a good kid really. He is so sensitive to the fact that he has really pushed me to the limit. He now even shows his dad how big he can open his mouth even when he is not eating! And while I give him food, he starts opening his mouth like he used to - small...and then he opens it wider more consciously and says "Aaa"...
Every day now we cheer and celebrate and immediately call his dad and I tell B on the speaker phone "Innik KB evvlo fast'aa saptudhu theriyuma? Big'aa thorandhudhu" etc and B applauds and KB again talks to him and says "KB chamatha Sapturthu inniku"! (KB ate fast today). It is just sheer joy really - this break through. That he is making an effort itself feels like a prize for me! And that is actually showing results - can't tell you how good it feels! KNOCK ON WOOD! If it stays at half an hour per meal, I will be very happy! Let's see - 30 min on good days and 40 min on not so good days is how it is now. If it averages out to 30 min per meal, I will be so happy. All this may seem like a bit too much detail and drama to someone who has not had a difficult/slow eater. But I am sure that anyone who has had to put in a lot of time and effort to feed their child will totally relate to this new found joy of mine! I just feel blessed with such good children, Lavs! :)
KB and I have gone through some kind of learning process together in the last two weeks! He has been a difficult eater - mostly because he is extremely slow...plus he loves to read or talk about some story or sing some song while having food in his mouth. Two other things - he used to open his mouth just a tiny bit for each spoon and he really (even now) cannot ingest too much food at once or he tends to gag. I have a very strong gag reflex to (as commented upon by my dentist, that it is stronger than he has seen in most people) and he is the same way. So if I try to shove more food than he is comfortable with, he just pukes it out. In all, this has been a battle of sorts for both me and KB. It wasn't as much of a problem before baby girl arrived - I would grit and bear and sit through what ever time it took to feed him. Now I am less patient and also have less time. And I also have baby girl who is spoiling me with her amazing - zip, zap, done mode of eating! In all this, both B and I discovered that the main reason why baby girl finishes her food fast is just from the simple fact that she opens her mouth much wider.
B has been working late for the past two weeks. As it is, he comes home around 8.00 - 8.15pm from work. The last few weeks he has been coming anywhere from 9 - 11.00 pm. You can imagine the drain on me mentally to suddenly be alone until bedtime. He would be tired when he got home, so naturally he would just go to bed. He was just not available for me most of the time even when he was home. And I think KB too missed him a lot - the one or two hours at night when he spends time with his dear daddy.
One morning, I think on Jan 13, I gave KB his lunch. Usual dal/rice/vegetable combo.
He kept asking me for some book or the other, ones that were not in the basket under the dining table - so I had to keep getting up to go get him the ones he wanted. And he asked for some CD or the other to be played. He then asked me to warm up his food again. I just lost my patience (partly because I was really exhausted mentally from feeling like I am doing all the work for the kids) and yelled at him. Yelled is an understatement. I was sounding like a maniac, I am ashamed to say. I told him very loudly, "Open your mouth - BIGGG'aaa"! "Don't open it like a little bird, open it like a tiger...AAAAAAA...appdi open pannu, big big big" I shouted at him. He was really angry, upset and started yelling back at me and crying saying "SMALL'aaa" and he was in tears. I usually hug him right away if I even yell at him mildly - but I was so upset, tired of so many months of my hoping that he will get better at eating and nothing really changing...I just had no patience that day. I was myself hungry (I should have had some juice at least, but I didn't) and baby girl was sitting the bouncer and I had to eat, then feed her and then make the kids take their nap. I just let him cry it out.
For the first time, he sulked and looked really sad. After he ate, he just sat on the "moda" stool by the CD rack and looked outside and sat very quietly looking really sad. He just looked outside the window and kept listening to music that was playing. I wrote about this in this post. KB normally after lunch is a very happy and extra energetic and immediately hops on his chicco train and goes for a round and then pulls up near baby girl and pulls her hand or plays with her...to see him looking so quiet and sitting in one place for so long was really scary for me. It was all too heart breaking for me.
That night, he asked me to read this book called "When Daddy goes away" - about a father who has to travel on work and comes back home. That's when I realized it was a culmination of two things - my yelling too much at him and daddy not spending any time with him for a few days all of a sudden. I was so nervous about his behavior that day that I called my sister (the pediatrician) and asked her if kids can get that upset or depressed...B got very mad at me for using the word depressed. He said I was being so paranoid and dramatic. We got into an argument over this. This wasn't helping the situation any. The next day B emailed me some links about making meal times pleasant for your child. Somehow those two days became somewhat emotionally charged at home. It is amazing how just the previous day I complained to B that KB is such a fighter and that he is just not afraid of anything I say to him and will only do what he wants...and here I was so worried that he was suddenly not fighting me back instead looking so sad and down. I just could not take it. It was too heart breaking for me. I hugged him and kissed him and that night I just made him have as little as he wanted for his meal. I even let him skip dinner the next day.
Somehow in all this drama, we both seem to have emerged the better. I am now more aware that a)he is now more grown up and he can express emotions more like an adult - not cry loudly but look sad and feel sad. He was missing his father and conveyed it by asking me specifically to read that book a few times. b)if he is not able to eat fast, it is not fair to push him to do so at any point - does not matter if I have been patient for two years, I am not allowed to push him unfairly before he is able to do it on his own willingly.
KB too seems to have gone through some learning experience in this. That he can actually open his mouth just a little wider. He sees his sister eating her meal so fast and I also tell him - just to make him feel good - to tell her "Samatha sapadnum. Big'aa vai thorandhu sapdanum" (You should be good and eat well. You should open your mouth wide and eat). After she finishes, I tell him "See, just like you told her, she opened her mouth big'aa and she ate fast"! Somehow I think this has had an impact on him. It may just be that he is more grown up now. But I have a feeling seeing his sister eat fast along with the emotional show down we had the other day is making him put more of an effort in this regard. It is heart breaking - he is such a good kid really. He is so sensitive to the fact that he has really pushed me to the limit. He now even shows his dad how big he can open his mouth even when he is not eating! And while I give him food, he starts opening his mouth like he used to - small...and then he opens it wider more consciously and says "Aaa"...
Every day now we cheer and celebrate and immediately call his dad and I tell B on the speaker phone "Innik KB evvlo fast'aa saptudhu theriyuma? Big'aa thorandhudhu" etc and B applauds and KB again talks to him and says "KB chamatha Sapturthu inniku"! (KB ate fast today). It is just sheer joy really - this break through. That he is making an effort itself feels like a prize for me! And that is actually showing results - can't tell you how good it feels! KNOCK ON WOOD! If it stays at half an hour per meal, I will be very happy! Let's see - 30 min on good days and 40 min on not so good days is how it is now. If it averages out to 30 min per meal, I will be so happy. All this may seem like a bit too much detail and drama to someone who has not had a difficult/slow eater. But I am sure that anyone who has had to put in a lot of time and effort to feed their child will totally relate to this new found joy of mine! I just feel blessed with such good children, Lavs! :)
Monday, January 28, 2008
The object of my affection - tag
Object that brings back fond memories…Tharini tagged me on this one.
When you are asked about something that brings back fond memories, your mind scans through several years of events as if you are looking through one of those flip photo books to see your past in action all over again. College, school, childhood…photos? Letters? Patti’s necklace? Appa’s pooja tumbler? Pink Salwar from 9th grade? Gosh, the list is suddenly long. So many things bring back fond memories. I only have a few tangible objects with me here. So many others that I wish I had preserved. But for the sake of this post, I decided that it was this that brought back a wistful feeling, a tug in the heart and a longing for that wonderful feeling of togetherness and family, those carefree moments in your childhood. My “Sapadu thattu”. (Eating plate).
It is a small little round “ever silver” plate with my father’s initials inscribed on it. I am not sure if this is done all over India. But in the south, especially in my mother’s times, it was customary to send a whole lot of vessels – both silver and stainless steel – as part of the bride’s “seer” (gifts). These would include all vessels needed to set up a home as well as those used for performing important rituals. The vessels usually have the initials of the bride (with her new last name) or the groom inscribed on it. I wonder when my plate was purchased. I assume my grandmother bought it for my mother during my mother’s wedding. It has soft rounded edges and a clean and heavy look to it. I have managed to take it with me through all the many places I have lived in so far.
I don’t eat in this plate anymore. My mother uses it when she stays with me. I don’t even pause to look at it too often. But now that I am pausing to do so, it brings back such fond memories. And the pain of longing for something that is now only a part of your memory. When I was a child (I think I was in second grade then), we lived in this large rented house with a verandah that spanned the entire house pretty much. It had beautiful red tiled flooring. The kitchen and the dining rooms were separated from the rest of the house at a lower level – three steps leading to those rooms. We had a large dining table with six chairs. My dad would sit at the head of the table and I would sit next to him and my siblings in the other chairs. On many days however, especially for dinner, if my dad was not around, we preferred to sit on the floor with the dining table behind us. We would all gather in this small space and sit down with our respective plates. We knew not to mix up plates or the sitting spot for each person. My mother would serve us hot delicious food and we would all eat together.
Weekends meant brunch around 10.30 a.m. On those days my father would also sit down along with us. He loved food and had a taste for good food. He loved steamed vegetables and much to my mother’s annoyance he would often quip, “Indha pavakai’ya appdiye steam panni sapta first class’aa irukkum”. (If this bitter gourd were to be steamed and eaten, it would be delicious). It was said partly to irritate her because she would unfailingly retort that he could eat that when he went out with his friends to some five star hotels and she would only serve fried vegetables at home! He never wasted any food and would completely clean up his plate. I was the slowest eater (KB clearly takes after me!) and would talk and laugh and sit at my plate of food forever. I loved telling my sisters about “school tales” and would laugh non-stop at any joke they made. My sisters used to call me “Motorbike” because I would laugh like one. Loud gurgling laughter interspersed with moments of breathlessness! Sundays were the best because my mother would invariably make “Thengai thogayal” (coconut chutney) which I loved and she would also make golden fried “urulakazhangu” (aloo). I would eat well on days she made aloo or okra – the other days, I would always look for an escape route – if my mother got a phone call, she would have to go up the three steps to the other end of the house where the phone was. In the five or ten minutes she was on the phone, I would make a tight fistful of the dreaded healthy vegetable (like beans or plantain) that I had been asked to finish and run up the slopy hill in the backyard and throw it into the other side of it where the crows would come and eat their find. My father would sometimes help me out so I wouldn’t get chided but would gently say, “Green vegetables Sapadnum…appo dhan strong’aa iruppe” (you have to eat green vegetables, only then you will be strong). There was so much chatter and laughter in those 20 – 30 minutes and it would be followed by a group clean up. Later, my dad would lie down and read the newspaper. I would lie down next to my father who invariably fell asleep reading the newspaper. There was a cloth “easy chair” in our living room and I would climb on it upside down and do a flip-flop. I would paint randomly and laboriously arrange the painted sheets in order of “favorites”. I would also note down what the favorites order for my sister was.
I could go on about the memories that this one tangible piece – the “thattu” – from my childhood days brings back to me. I wish I could relive the happiness and the absolutely carefree state it was then. My parents shouldered everything – the children only had to eat, study and have fun. It makes me wonder if we can be that way to our children. To let them experience childhood without the burden of all that it takes to give them that. Especially in today’s world where one has to be careful about every thing – where they go, what they do, who interacts with them, what they see on the Internet…. I remember those days and for a second wish I could talk to my father again. I remind myself that my mother is a phone call away and I feel extremely grateful for that suddenly.
I also feel that food is such a strong part of childhood memories and I want to make sure we have family meals together no matter how rushed we are, no matter how many piano and tennis lessons my children have to go to. I hope we are able to do this as a family. I hope there is just as much laughter, just as much “fried urulaks” (oh nothing can beat tasty fried aloo!) and silly conversation and sure hope my children don’t rush into adulthood with all the exposure they get in today’s world. It reminds me – I should get them each a good plate when they are ready to eat on their own. One that will last forever and will bring them back to their childhood when they look at it!
I tag - Aryan (please let mom talk just this once Aryan), DDmom (why are you missing for so long?!), Cantaloupe, Madmomma, Poppins, Ranjani, SS.
When you are asked about something that brings back fond memories, your mind scans through several years of events as if you are looking through one of those flip photo books to see your past in action all over again. College, school, childhood…photos? Letters? Patti’s necklace? Appa’s pooja tumbler? Pink Salwar from 9th grade? Gosh, the list is suddenly long. So many things bring back fond memories. I only have a few tangible objects with me here. So many others that I wish I had preserved. But for the sake of this post, I decided that it was this that brought back a wistful feeling, a tug in the heart and a longing for that wonderful feeling of togetherness and family, those carefree moments in your childhood. My “Sapadu thattu”. (Eating plate).
It is a small little round “ever silver” plate with my father’s initials inscribed on it. I am not sure if this is done all over India. But in the south, especially in my mother’s times, it was customary to send a whole lot of vessels – both silver and stainless steel – as part of the bride’s “seer” (gifts). These would include all vessels needed to set up a home as well as those used for performing important rituals. The vessels usually have the initials of the bride (with her new last name) or the groom inscribed on it. I wonder when my plate was purchased. I assume my grandmother bought it for my mother during my mother’s wedding. It has soft rounded edges and a clean and heavy look to it. I have managed to take it with me through all the many places I have lived in so far.
I don’t eat in this plate anymore. My mother uses it when she stays with me. I don’t even pause to look at it too often. But now that I am pausing to do so, it brings back such fond memories. And the pain of longing for something that is now only a part of your memory. When I was a child (I think I was in second grade then), we lived in this large rented house with a verandah that spanned the entire house pretty much. It had beautiful red tiled flooring. The kitchen and the dining rooms were separated from the rest of the house at a lower level – three steps leading to those rooms. We had a large dining table with six chairs. My dad would sit at the head of the table and I would sit next to him and my siblings in the other chairs. On many days however, especially for dinner, if my dad was not around, we preferred to sit on the floor with the dining table behind us. We would all gather in this small space and sit down with our respective plates. We knew not to mix up plates or the sitting spot for each person. My mother would serve us hot delicious food and we would all eat together.
Weekends meant brunch around 10.30 a.m. On those days my father would also sit down along with us. He loved food and had a taste for good food. He loved steamed vegetables and much to my mother’s annoyance he would often quip, “Indha pavakai’ya appdiye steam panni sapta first class’aa irukkum”. (If this bitter gourd were to be steamed and eaten, it would be delicious). It was said partly to irritate her because she would unfailingly retort that he could eat that when he went out with his friends to some five star hotels and she would only serve fried vegetables at home! He never wasted any food and would completely clean up his plate. I was the slowest eater (KB clearly takes after me!) and would talk and laugh and sit at my plate of food forever. I loved telling my sisters about “school tales” and would laugh non-stop at any joke they made. My sisters used to call me “Motorbike” because I would laugh like one. Loud gurgling laughter interspersed with moments of breathlessness! Sundays were the best because my mother would invariably make “Thengai thogayal” (coconut chutney) which I loved and she would also make golden fried “urulakazhangu” (aloo). I would eat well on days she made aloo or okra – the other days, I would always look for an escape route – if my mother got a phone call, she would have to go up the three steps to the other end of the house where the phone was. In the five or ten minutes she was on the phone, I would make a tight fistful of the dreaded healthy vegetable (like beans or plantain) that I had been asked to finish and run up the slopy hill in the backyard and throw it into the other side of it where the crows would come and eat their find. My father would sometimes help me out so I wouldn’t get chided but would gently say, “Green vegetables Sapadnum…appo dhan strong’aa iruppe” (you have to eat green vegetables, only then you will be strong). There was so much chatter and laughter in those 20 – 30 minutes and it would be followed by a group clean up. Later, my dad would lie down and read the newspaper. I would lie down next to my father who invariably fell asleep reading the newspaper. There was a cloth “easy chair” in our living room and I would climb on it upside down and do a flip-flop. I would paint randomly and laboriously arrange the painted sheets in order of “favorites”. I would also note down what the favorites order for my sister was.
I could go on about the memories that this one tangible piece – the “thattu” – from my childhood days brings back to me. I wish I could relive the happiness and the absolutely carefree state it was then. My parents shouldered everything – the children only had to eat, study and have fun. It makes me wonder if we can be that way to our children. To let them experience childhood without the burden of all that it takes to give them that. Especially in today’s world where one has to be careful about every thing – where they go, what they do, who interacts with them, what they see on the Internet…. I remember those days and for a second wish I could talk to my father again. I remind myself that my mother is a phone call away and I feel extremely grateful for that suddenly.
I also feel that food is such a strong part of childhood memories and I want to make sure we have family meals together no matter how rushed we are, no matter how many piano and tennis lessons my children have to go to. I hope we are able to do this as a family. I hope there is just as much laughter, just as much “fried urulaks” (oh nothing can beat tasty fried aloo!) and silly conversation and sure hope my children don’t rush into adulthood with all the exposure they get in today’s world. It reminds me – I should get them each a good plate when they are ready to eat on their own. One that will last forever and will bring them back to their childhood when they look at it!
I tag - Aryan (please let mom talk just this once Aryan), DDmom (why are you missing for so long?!), Cantaloupe, Madmomma, Poppins, Ranjani, SS.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thank god for little mercies...
I should in fact title this as "Thank god for big mercies". I have written a few posts (incidentally I just noticed this is my 75th post - it could well be my 100th - I would not know since I have deleted quite a few of my old posts) on how kutti boy gives me a hard time when it comes to feeding him his meals. I felt (much as I am truly scared of jinxing it!) I should also write a post on how grateful and happy I am that so far baby girl has been so good to me when it comes to feeding her solids. SO FAR! Knock on wood! Run folks, please do knock on wood for me! :))
When my mom was getting ready to leave, I had knots in my stomach. I was not afraid of the work really - I was anyway doing most of the baby care on my own. But the biggest help she gave me was watching baby girl while I fed KB his meals. Baby girl would be upstairs with my mom while my mom watched sun TV or read her books. Another huge help was just having my mom around when baby girl was sleeping - I could use that time to take KB out to the park or to the shop with me. My mother's leaving meant I would have to feed KB while also taking care of baby girl. It takes 45 minutes minimum to give him each meal and sometimes one hour - I have made that my cut off - I just stop then. I used to feel so bugged and worn out at the end of the day when I just thought of having to go through the feeding battles again the next day. And how on earth will I find the patience to feed one more child? What if she too took one hour? I was letting my imaginations run wild...that I would fling the cup of cereal having lost my temper - like one of those vile mother-in-law type characters that I caught a glimpse of on Sun TV serials. I talked to my friends over and over that week if I should hire a nanny for a few hours and go through the pain of picking her up and dropping her off. I talked to my one friend who managed on her own as to how she did it. The difference was that she had a ton of family members within a mile of where she lived. So that didn't count in my opinion. She could* get a break if need be where as I could not. Yet another friend told me that I would be reaaaally stretching myself very thin if I tried to manage both kids on my own especially considering B comes home past 8.00pm each day. Her children are 14m apart and she followed her mother to India (for 6m) when she left! I was so afraid. My mother (while she herself is quite the worry worm in my opinion) again told me what her father would have told her : don't worry, you will find a way. God will show you the way. Another close friend's mother, a very spiritual person, said the same thing to me "God will show you the way, don't worry". I jokingly asked her if God would physically come and help me out.
And really there is some merit to facing the battles only when you need to. I worried myself sick that week as to how I would do it. If I could do it. If the children will cope. And in this regard I feel so grateful to baby girl for helping me out. Well, both the children really. KB has been very patient and accommodating when I have to nurse baby girl. I heard from so many people that the first child gets jealous and pinches the second one etc. None of that so far with KB. He follows me to the room and does his own thing or plays with baby girl while I nurse her. Only very rarely if he is terribly hungry or tired has he given a hard time asking me to attend to him right then. Baby girl - oh dear - she has been an angel so far with respect to feeding her and making her nap. I just wish I could tell her and make her understand how thankful I am to her for this. If she were to take as long as KB did when he was 7m old for solids, I would be going nuts really. She opens her mouth wide, eats quickly and when she is full she just turns away and shuts her mouth tight indicating she is done. And I stop. Game over. Simple. I just cannot even believe it - that it can** be this simple. And naps - with KB - may be it's a first child thing - I used to put him on my lap, sing to him and after he went into deep sleep, gently, slowly lift him and put him in the crib. He would wake up in 15 min or so. Start over. After some 7m of this, finally I had to do a modified Ferber treatment to get him to nap in the crib during day time and to sleep through the night. This is not to put him down in any way - he has been so supportive and amazing in his own way. This is just to show how different it is with the second child. With baby girl, I just let her play downstairs until she starts scratching her eyes, ears to indicate she is sleepy. I then take her upstairs to the crib, make her snug under her comforters, pull down the shutters and turn on the music and leave the room.
Thank you God, Thank you! Thank you baby girl for being so good. Please do continue to be this way! And KB you too - please continue to love your sister the way you do now. You have adjusted so well to this new addition to our family - I am filled with pride and joy at this. I will allow you your meal time battles just a little for having been so good to us parents and to your little sister!
On that happy note, I complete my 75th post - if such numbers mean anything! :)
When my mom was getting ready to leave, I had knots in my stomach. I was not afraid of the work really - I was anyway doing most of the baby care on my own. But the biggest help she gave me was watching baby girl while I fed KB his meals. Baby girl would be upstairs with my mom while my mom watched sun TV or read her books. Another huge help was just having my mom around when baby girl was sleeping - I could use that time to take KB out to the park or to the shop with me. My mother's leaving meant I would have to feed KB while also taking care of baby girl. It takes 45 minutes minimum to give him each meal and sometimes one hour - I have made that my cut off - I just stop then. I used to feel so bugged and worn out at the end of the day when I just thought of having to go through the feeding battles again the next day. And how on earth will I find the patience to feed one more child? What if she too took one hour? I was letting my imaginations run wild...that I would fling the cup of cereal having lost my temper - like one of those vile mother-in-law type characters that I caught a glimpse of on Sun TV serials. I talked to my friends over and over that week if I should hire a nanny for a few hours and go through the pain of picking her up and dropping her off. I talked to my one friend who managed on her own as to how she did it. The difference was that she had a ton of family members within a mile of where she lived. So that didn't count in my opinion. She could* get a break if need be where as I could not. Yet another friend told me that I would be reaaaally stretching myself very thin if I tried to manage both kids on my own especially considering B comes home past 8.00pm each day. Her children are 14m apart and she followed her mother to India (for 6m) when she left! I was so afraid. My mother (while she herself is quite the worry worm in my opinion) again told me what her father would have told her : don't worry, you will find a way. God will show you the way. Another close friend's mother, a very spiritual person, said the same thing to me "God will show you the way, don't worry". I jokingly asked her if God would physically come and help me out.
And really there is some merit to facing the battles only when you need to. I worried myself sick that week as to how I would do it. If I could do it. If the children will cope. And in this regard I feel so grateful to baby girl for helping me out. Well, both the children really. KB has been very patient and accommodating when I have to nurse baby girl. I heard from so many people that the first child gets jealous and pinches the second one etc. None of that so far with KB. He follows me to the room and does his own thing or plays with baby girl while I nurse her. Only very rarely if he is terribly hungry or tired has he given a hard time asking me to attend to him right then. Baby girl - oh dear - she has been an angel so far with respect to feeding her and making her nap. I just wish I could tell her and make her understand how thankful I am to her for this. If she were to take as long as KB did when he was 7m old for solids, I would be going nuts really. She opens her mouth wide, eats quickly and when she is full she just turns away and shuts her mouth tight indicating she is done. And I stop. Game over. Simple. I just cannot even believe it - that it can** be this simple. And naps - with KB - may be it's a first child thing - I used to put him on my lap, sing to him and after he went into deep sleep, gently, slowly lift him and put him in the crib. He would wake up in 15 min or so. Start over. After some 7m of this, finally I had to do a modified Ferber treatment to get him to nap in the crib during day time and to sleep through the night. This is not to put him down in any way - he has been so supportive and amazing in his own way. This is just to show how different it is with the second child. With baby girl, I just let her play downstairs until she starts scratching her eyes, ears to indicate she is sleepy. I then take her upstairs to the crib, make her snug under her comforters, pull down the shutters and turn on the music and leave the room.
Thank you God, Thank you! Thank you baby girl for being so good. Please do continue to be this way! And KB you too - please continue to love your sister the way you do now. You have adjusted so well to this new addition to our family - I am filled with pride and joy at this. I will allow you your meal time battles just a little for having been so good to us parents and to your little sister!
On that happy note, I complete my 75th post - if such numbers mean anything! :)
Thursday, January 17, 2008
How much is the doggie in the window...
KB is growing up in ways that are different from just recognizing objects,saying words etc. He is able to comprehend emotions and feelings - in ways that I cannot understand. I talk to B or my sister assuming KB won't be paying attention to me and later I find in subtle ways that he has heard and understood some of it too.
KB loves music - some days he asks me to play M.S.S Ganesh Pancharatnam, other days, he brings "Lagaan" CD and asks me to play it or does so himself. Mostly these days, he listens to children's song CDs. This CD is now one of his favorites. And the song "How much is the doggie in the window" is the top of his favorites list. He listens to it quietly and looks like he is very deep in thought.
KB and I have our meal time tussles as you all know by now. We go through smooth phases and then suddenly the drama starts again - I have to yell, threaten to go to the yard and not come back in unless he eats etc. He may cry in the process but the kind of whiny crying just to make my life difficult and then when I come back in, he would eat like it was no problem at all in the first place. But the other day things played out a little differently. He gave me a hard time to get started and as always was eating slowly. Very slowly. He would open his mouth like a little bird. I was losing my patience because baby girl was sitting in the bouncer and I didn't want her to start getting too impatient. As it is, she has to patiently wait 45 min to one hour while he eats. I keep engaging her as well while feeding KB. In my frustration over his pace of eating, I yelled at him to PLEASE open his mouth like a tiger and not a bird. "Big Big Big" I yelled at him.
"Small'aaa" he yelled back at me.
I just shook my head and continued to give him tiny bits of food in the spoon. Now obviously he was even more defiant. So I gave up and silently gave the food. After a while, when he asked for some toy or the other and kept dragging the whole thing, I just lost it and just sighed and put the food on the table. I told him he was driving me crazy (payitham pidikardhu yenakku unnode!). He was now upset. Pouted some, but somehow we battled on and he finished the food.
I brought the yogurt which he usually likes and looks forward to at every meal. He had a few spoons and casually said "no". I was tired of fighting him at this point. I got him out of his chair and helped him wash his mouth and let him go. I came back to the table and put my head on it and said "Mamma, very sad. That you didn't finish the yogurt". He looked at me silently, defiantly and just stood there. For a good two minutes. He then came running to me, tears streaming down and picked up the yogurt and gave it in my hand and made me give it to him. I felt like my heart would break at that gesture. He would eat just because I was sad?!
After he finished his yogurt, I made myself a sandwich and sat down to eat. The entire 15 minutes until I made it, ate it and cleaned up he just sat quietly, thinking and sulking. The first time ever. I had never seen him so quiet, sitting in one place with tears in his eyes. All this while listening to the song, "how much is the doggie". And suddenly he said "Doggie sad". I asked him "why?" and he just repeated "Doggie sad". I could not bear to see him sad. Those large eyes filled with tears. I have had him cry in protest but never looking really sad like this. I hugged him tight and told him that the doggie was not sad and that the doggie was very happy.
A little later, he listened to that song again. He was standing there listening to those words as if he was imagining all of it in his head. And he exclaimed to me "And the doggie will have a good home". I made it into a story and told him "Yeah, Aunty will take good care of the doggie. She will give him "Mum mum", "Mac n cheese", "Jooch" "Milk", and paatu paduvaa (sing songs), ellam pannuva, fun'aa irukkum doggie'ku"". Now he repeats this story like a song in itself. He is so moved by that line, he thinks about it and then comes to me and tells me all this all over again. He said this to my sister over the phone today. I just cannot believe that he is able to relate to this idea. I just wish I could get into his head and see what image he has conjured up of the doggie getting a good home. I wish I could really understand his feelings. It is trivial but I still want to know. He fights me hard at his meals. And later I see him standing in front of the CD player absorbed in thought about the doggie getting a good home. I just want to hug him tight and tell my little baby that all is well for him and for the doggie and that the world is a happy place. Well, I didn't say anything really, I held him close and listened to the song with him.
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I must take a trip to California
And leave my poor sweetheart alone
If she has a dog, she won't be lonesome
And the doggie will have a good home
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I read in the paper there are robbers (roof! roof!)
With flashlights that shine in the dark
My love needs a doggie to protect her
And scare them away with one bark
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I do hope that doggie's for sale
KB loves music - some days he asks me to play M.S.S Ganesh Pancharatnam, other days, he brings "Lagaan" CD and asks me to play it or does so himself. Mostly these days, he listens to children's song CDs. This CD is now one of his favorites. And the song "How much is the doggie in the window" is the top of his favorites list. He listens to it quietly and looks like he is very deep in thought.
KB and I have our meal time tussles as you all know by now. We go through smooth phases and then suddenly the drama starts again - I have to yell, threaten to go to the yard and not come back in unless he eats etc. He may cry in the process but the kind of whiny crying just to make my life difficult and then when I come back in, he would eat like it was no problem at all in the first place. But the other day things played out a little differently. He gave me a hard time to get started and as always was eating slowly. Very slowly. He would open his mouth like a little bird. I was losing my patience because baby girl was sitting in the bouncer and I didn't want her to start getting too impatient. As it is, she has to patiently wait 45 min to one hour while he eats. I keep engaging her as well while feeding KB. In my frustration over his pace of eating, I yelled at him to PLEASE open his mouth like a tiger and not a bird. "Big Big Big" I yelled at him.
"Small'aaa" he yelled back at me.
I just shook my head and continued to give him tiny bits of food in the spoon. Now obviously he was even more defiant. So I gave up and silently gave the food. After a while, when he asked for some toy or the other and kept dragging the whole thing, I just lost it and just sighed and put the food on the table. I told him he was driving me crazy (payitham pidikardhu yenakku unnode!). He was now upset. Pouted some, but somehow we battled on and he finished the food.
I brought the yogurt which he usually likes and looks forward to at every meal. He had a few spoons and casually said "no". I was tired of fighting him at this point. I got him out of his chair and helped him wash his mouth and let him go. I came back to the table and put my head on it and said "Mamma, very sad. That you didn't finish the yogurt". He looked at me silently, defiantly and just stood there. For a good two minutes. He then came running to me, tears streaming down and picked up the yogurt and gave it in my hand and made me give it to him. I felt like my heart would break at that gesture. He would eat just because I was sad?!
After he finished his yogurt, I made myself a sandwich and sat down to eat. The entire 15 minutes until I made it, ate it and cleaned up he just sat quietly, thinking and sulking. The first time ever. I had never seen him so quiet, sitting in one place with tears in his eyes. All this while listening to the song, "how much is the doggie". And suddenly he said "Doggie sad". I asked him "why?" and he just repeated "Doggie sad". I could not bear to see him sad. Those large eyes filled with tears. I have had him cry in protest but never looking really sad like this. I hugged him tight and told him that the doggie was not sad and that the doggie was very happy.
A little later, he listened to that song again. He was standing there listening to those words as if he was imagining all of it in his head. And he exclaimed to me "And the doggie will have a good home". I made it into a story and told him "Yeah, Aunty will take good care of the doggie. She will give him "Mum mum", "Mac n cheese", "Jooch" "Milk", and paatu paduvaa (sing songs), ellam pannuva, fun'aa irukkum doggie'ku"". Now he repeats this story like a song in itself. He is so moved by that line, he thinks about it and then comes to me and tells me all this all over again. He said this to my sister over the phone today. I just cannot believe that he is able to relate to this idea. I just wish I could get into his head and see what image he has conjured up of the doggie getting a good home. I wish I could really understand his feelings. It is trivial but I still want to know. He fights me hard at his meals. And later I see him standing in front of the CD player absorbed in thought about the doggie getting a good home. I just want to hug him tight and tell my little baby that all is well for him and for the doggie and that the world is a happy place. Well, I didn't say anything really, I held him close and listened to the song with him.
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I must take a trip to California
And leave my poor sweetheart alone
If she has a dog, she won't be lonesome
And the doggie will have a good home
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I read in the paper there are robbers (roof! roof!)
With flashlights that shine in the dark
My love needs a doggie to protect her
And scare them away with one bark
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I do hope that doggie's for sale
Monday, January 14, 2008
Is pre school at age 3 necessary?
I am on the look out for preschools for KB now (he is 29m now). The one good Montessori I like has a super long wait list. May get an afternoon slot in Sep 08 (KB turns three on Aug.3). I was thinking of getting him in some preschool when he is around 2.5yrs old. Mainly because I want him to get an opportunity to meet other kids and socialize and generally know what it means to do things at set times and the concept of "teacher" and so on.
The good schools are too expensive - anywhere from $550 to $670 per month just for three half days! I don't know what the chains charge - Mulberry kids type places - I don't think they are too much cheaper. I was told by several people to avoid these chains only because they have higher turn over of teachers and they shift students from class to class more often and kids tend to fall sick more. It seems incredible to spend that kind of money for your kid to just go and socialize (I mean this only for age 3). But I don't have too much choice - I don't have time to take KB out on play dates - the schedule just doesn't work out easily. I have to go in that tiny window of time when both kids are fed and have taken their naps and it has to be before baby girl's sleep time in the evening since she naps in the evening also. B comes home only around 8.00pm plus on most evenings. It is easier for me to drive the kids to some local shop or take them for a walk in the stroller than plan a play date with someone - just because I don't know exactly when I can make it.
My friend here says it is a waste of time to put them in preschool at age 3. In her experience, her child did not benefit at all that one year. She regrets having woken her up early in the morning to rush her to school and drag her second child for the drop off pick up. She says I would be better of waiting till KB is four - so he can have a relaxed life until then - wake up late and eat more peacefully/slowly. KB wakes up by 7.00 am anyway - so that may not be an issue. But the thought of rushing his meals and also dragging baby girl along just for the car ride is not appealing.
I cannot take KB to mommy and me classes now because I can't leave baby girl alone while I participate in the class (required). School is the only option.
All these thoughts going in a loop in my head. Is it worth it or not? Or is it best I put my effort into meeting with a couple of friends twice a week and just having KB play with his little sister rest of the time...take them to the library etc more often? Just for one more year. Money saved and less chance of falling sick most importantly. Even as I write this, I know I will be very nervous wondering if I am doing the right thing if I kept him home till he turned 4.
Just sharing my confusion with you - hopefully some of you will comment and tell me your perspective in this matter!
The good schools are too expensive - anywhere from $550 to $670 per month just for three half days! I don't know what the chains charge - Mulberry kids type places - I don't think they are too much cheaper. I was told by several people to avoid these chains only because they have higher turn over of teachers and they shift students from class to class more often and kids tend to fall sick more. It seems incredible to spend that kind of money for your kid to just go and socialize (I mean this only for age 3). But I don't have too much choice - I don't have time to take KB out on play dates - the schedule just doesn't work out easily. I have to go in that tiny window of time when both kids are fed and have taken their naps and it has to be before baby girl's sleep time in the evening since she naps in the evening also. B comes home only around 8.00pm plus on most evenings. It is easier for me to drive the kids to some local shop or take them for a walk in the stroller than plan a play date with someone - just because I don't know exactly when I can make it.
My friend here says it is a waste of time to put them in preschool at age 3. In her experience, her child did not benefit at all that one year. She regrets having woken her up early in the morning to rush her to school and drag her second child for the drop off pick up. She says I would be better of waiting till KB is four - so he can have a relaxed life until then - wake up late and eat more peacefully/slowly. KB wakes up by 7.00 am anyway - so that may not be an issue. But the thought of rushing his meals and also dragging baby girl along just for the car ride is not appealing.
I cannot take KB to mommy and me classes now because I can't leave baby girl alone while I participate in the class (required). School is the only option.
All these thoughts going in a loop in my head. Is it worth it or not? Or is it best I put my effort into meeting with a couple of friends twice a week and just having KB play with his little sister rest of the time...take them to the library etc more often? Just for one more year. Money saved and less chance of falling sick most importantly. Even as I write this, I know I will be very nervous wondering if I am doing the right thing if I kept him home till he turned 4.
Just sharing my confusion with you - hopefully some of you will comment and tell me your perspective in this matter!
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Hello, this is baby girl!
Hello all – You have seen my photographs, you have heard about me but mamma has never given a chance to let me talk to you all. Well, I grabbed the pen from her and decided I would write a few lines. Oh, well the keypad, let’s say.
I turned six months old on Dec 17.08 and mamma decided to wait till Dec 31.07 to give me my first taste of solid food. Hellou I hear that a lot of my pals out there got to taste solids when they were four months old. And she finally really got me started on two solid meals a day only on Jan 5.08! My brother seems to have instilled a dread of feeding solid meals in her that she postponed it until she couldn’t do it anymore without being struck by severe guilt. And she is not telling you this and let me tell you she is a paranoid believer in jinxing things even just by thinking about it. But I will tell you – pretend you didn’t hear it. She is secretly enjoying feeding me solids because this is an utterly new feeling for her. I mean, my brother took about half an hour for one tablespoon of solids when he was 6m old. Me on the other hand, I am taking pity on her and give her such joy when she turns around to see the time – only 15 min and I am done with two tablespoons of cereal! Mamma – don’t you just love me just for this?! Now, don’t take it too easy – I may suddenly decide to make your life difficult – so just keep on appreciating me for this!
I am only six months old and she has already dragged me on three different trips – that’s 6 flights to and fro in all. I sure hope she has no plans of dragging my brother and me on any more flights for a while. I have to say though – it’s nice and cozy since daddy always holds me even when I am napping when we are on the flight. I guess I should enjoy this until I turn two. Every one in the flight tells my mom that we are such good kids on the flight. People make a big deal of ear pressure but I don’t have a problem so far since I am always sucking on my thumb. I don’t feel too much of it.
I visited every one in my mom’s family during the New Year’s Eve holiday. It was great fun. I completely forgot that back home, I used to actually be let down on the floor on a blanket to play. At my mama’s place, there was so much competition to hold me that I was constantly in someone’s arms. Every one loved cuddling me. My brother on the other hand doesn’t like being cuddled by any one other than mom at most times. Not even dad. He only allows a few people that he is very fond of and knows well to carry him. He didn’t care at all that every one paid more attention to me. I don’t know why my mom worries about this and feels so bad about it. He really doesn’t care mom and it’s his own doing you know! He will play with people but not let any one touch him. Well anyone other than his mama, grandma and our cousin brother in that house full of people. Wonder if I too will become like him in a year’s time…mamma, you keep guessing. I am not going to tell you what my plans are.
My mom’s sister and my cousin (her daughter) told my mom that I am the happiest baby on earth! I did not cry and I kept smiling and was really enjoying myself amongst all that loving bunch of people – I earned my title you know! Mom doesn’t even want to hear it for fear of – yeah that same old thing! Jinx!
My brother and I interact and play with each other a lot these days. It seems like the most natural thing to do but mom and dad go nuts over this. Mom has begun to really make use of the fact that we have each other! When I am bored and whine a tiny bit asking for some entertainment, she asks my brother to ride his train in front of me. I quite enjoy this – he is so big – he can even ride trains you know! My brother is the best brother ever I think – he loves me so much. He is constantly pulling my hand and ramming his head on me when mamma is nursing me. I am so used to this now, if he is not around, I find it strange and keep looking around for him. My brother even gives “pet names” for me – he calls me “Guluvil” and just this morning he came up with this name “Lilibi” for me. Mom and dad think he has come up with perfect names for me. I too like those names.
I don’t sleep through the night – I do wake up to feed once – around 3.00 am but I go back to sleep soon after that. I wake up by 5.15 am every morning but it’s working out well because dad likes to wake up early and feels this is a good reason to do so. I am usually singing and cooing in the dark for some 10 –15 minutes before dad really gets out of bed and comes to get me. I give such a beaming smile and laugh when he takes me out of the crib – dad just delights in this, I can see. He just dotes on me mom, you better watch out – your position in the favorites list may be getting weaker! I am at my best in the morning – too bad mom misses all of this. She sleeps late and wakes up later along with my brother – around 7.00 am. She does wake up to feed me around 6.00 am but she goes back to sleep. Dad and I have our morning time – I watch him make his coffee and grab at every thing – the coffee filter, the mug, the spoon. But he is sweet; he still carries me around and does every thing with one hand. We then come upstairs and I sit on his lap while he reads the newspaper. I keep grabbing at it – so these days he gives me something to chew on – like the empty cereal bag - while he reads. It makes a lot of noise but it is too thick for me to really bite off it – so dad gives it to me while he peacefully reads.
My aunt – dad’s sister – has sent me the “Pack n play” that my cousins used when they were my age. I am not sure what to expect of this thing. Hope mom doesn’t put me in it too often – I like being free to roll around and wander and ingest all the random bits of stuff I come across on the rug. My brother often makes a mess of his “coco krispies” and some bits of it get left behind on the rug – I love discovering those and have my mom panic and run and grab it from my hand.
Mom cannot possibly leave me on the bed and go too far away from me since I roll around in a second and come to the edge of the bed. She tells my brother to keep a watch on me – he is pretty good at this – he actually goes and tells her “Mamma, kutti baby carpet’lendhu floor’ku vandhurthu” and she comes running and puts me back in the center of the rug. I now sit by supporting my hand on the floor – though mom doesn’t often let me do this. She should remember to do this more often.
Mom takes my brother and me for a walk in the double stroller. Let me tell you, I am glad Christmas is over! I now don’t have to listen to a running commentary from him as to which “Uncle” (he refers to all the neighbors as Uncle or Aunty!) has turned the Christmas lights on and whose inflatable Santa has lost air and so on. “Santa flat ayitar” he screams to mamma and she has to say, “Amam da kanna, Santa’ku air pump pannanum Aunty”. He will keep repeating this until she says that in response. Often times, it is close to my nap time when we are returning from our walk and I start to whine having to listen to all this when I would rather be sleeping cozily in the warmth of my crib! Mom then walks really fast with the stroller so she can get home soon and make me sleep in my crib. My poor mom having to please both me and my brother – me wanting to get home and my brother wanting to stay out longer!
Wow folks, I sure can talk about myself on and on! Look how long this has turned out to be already. I better stop here or you may fall asleep – if you even got this far in the first place!
Ba-bye! Take care. See you tomorrow – like my brother says!
I turned six months old on Dec 17.08 and mamma decided to wait till Dec 31.07 to give me my first taste of solid food. Hellou I hear that a lot of my pals out there got to taste solids when they were four months old. And she finally really got me started on two solid meals a day only on Jan 5.08! My brother seems to have instilled a dread of feeding solid meals in her that she postponed it until she couldn’t do it anymore without being struck by severe guilt. And she is not telling you this and let me tell you she is a paranoid believer in jinxing things even just by thinking about it. But I will tell you – pretend you didn’t hear it. She is secretly enjoying feeding me solids because this is an utterly new feeling for her. I mean, my brother took about half an hour for one tablespoon of solids when he was 6m old. Me on the other hand, I am taking pity on her and give her such joy when she turns around to see the time – only 15 min and I am done with two tablespoons of cereal! Mamma – don’t you just love me just for this?! Now, don’t take it too easy – I may suddenly decide to make your life difficult – so just keep on appreciating me for this!
I am only six months old and she has already dragged me on three different trips – that’s 6 flights to and fro in all. I sure hope she has no plans of dragging my brother and me on any more flights for a while. I have to say though – it’s nice and cozy since daddy always holds me even when I am napping when we are on the flight. I guess I should enjoy this until I turn two. Every one in the flight tells my mom that we are such good kids on the flight. People make a big deal of ear pressure but I don’t have a problem so far since I am always sucking on my thumb. I don’t feel too much of it.
I visited every one in my mom’s family during the New Year’s Eve holiday. It was great fun. I completely forgot that back home, I used to actually be let down on the floor on a blanket to play. At my mama’s place, there was so much competition to hold me that I was constantly in someone’s arms. Every one loved cuddling me. My brother on the other hand doesn’t like being cuddled by any one other than mom at most times. Not even dad. He only allows a few people that he is very fond of and knows well to carry him. He didn’t care at all that every one paid more attention to me. I don’t know why my mom worries about this and feels so bad about it. He really doesn’t care mom and it’s his own doing you know! He will play with people but not let any one touch him. Well anyone other than his mama, grandma and our cousin brother in that house full of people. Wonder if I too will become like him in a year’s time…mamma, you keep guessing. I am not going to tell you what my plans are.
My mom’s sister and my cousin (her daughter) told my mom that I am the happiest baby on earth! I did not cry and I kept smiling and was really enjoying myself amongst all that loving bunch of people – I earned my title you know! Mom doesn’t even want to hear it for fear of – yeah that same old thing! Jinx!
My brother and I interact and play with each other a lot these days. It seems like the most natural thing to do but mom and dad go nuts over this. Mom has begun to really make use of the fact that we have each other! When I am bored and whine a tiny bit asking for some entertainment, she asks my brother to ride his train in front of me. I quite enjoy this – he is so big – he can even ride trains you know! My brother is the best brother ever I think – he loves me so much. He is constantly pulling my hand and ramming his head on me when mamma is nursing me. I am so used to this now, if he is not around, I find it strange and keep looking around for him. My brother even gives “pet names” for me – he calls me “Guluvil” and just this morning he came up with this name “Lilibi” for me. Mom and dad think he has come up with perfect names for me. I too like those names.
I don’t sleep through the night – I do wake up to feed once – around 3.00 am but I go back to sleep soon after that. I wake up by 5.15 am every morning but it’s working out well because dad likes to wake up early and feels this is a good reason to do so. I am usually singing and cooing in the dark for some 10 –15 minutes before dad really gets out of bed and comes to get me. I give such a beaming smile and laugh when he takes me out of the crib – dad just delights in this, I can see. He just dotes on me mom, you better watch out – your position in the favorites list may be getting weaker! I am at my best in the morning – too bad mom misses all of this. She sleeps late and wakes up later along with my brother – around 7.00 am. She does wake up to feed me around 6.00 am but she goes back to sleep. Dad and I have our morning time – I watch him make his coffee and grab at every thing – the coffee filter, the mug, the spoon. But he is sweet; he still carries me around and does every thing with one hand. We then come upstairs and I sit on his lap while he reads the newspaper. I keep grabbing at it – so these days he gives me something to chew on – like the empty cereal bag - while he reads. It makes a lot of noise but it is too thick for me to really bite off it – so dad gives it to me while he peacefully reads.
My aunt – dad’s sister – has sent me the “Pack n play” that my cousins used when they were my age. I am not sure what to expect of this thing. Hope mom doesn’t put me in it too often – I like being free to roll around and wander and ingest all the random bits of stuff I come across on the rug. My brother often makes a mess of his “coco krispies” and some bits of it get left behind on the rug – I love discovering those and have my mom panic and run and grab it from my hand.
Mom cannot possibly leave me on the bed and go too far away from me since I roll around in a second and come to the edge of the bed. She tells my brother to keep a watch on me – he is pretty good at this – he actually goes and tells her “Mamma, kutti baby carpet’lendhu floor’ku vandhurthu” and she comes running and puts me back in the center of the rug. I now sit by supporting my hand on the floor – though mom doesn’t often let me do this. She should remember to do this more often.
Mom takes my brother and me for a walk in the double stroller. Let me tell you, I am glad Christmas is over! I now don’t have to listen to a running commentary from him as to which “Uncle” (he refers to all the neighbors as Uncle or Aunty!) has turned the Christmas lights on and whose inflatable Santa has lost air and so on. “Santa flat ayitar” he screams to mamma and she has to say, “Amam da kanna, Santa’ku air pump pannanum Aunty”. He will keep repeating this until she says that in response. Often times, it is close to my nap time when we are returning from our walk and I start to whine having to listen to all this when I would rather be sleeping cozily in the warmth of my crib! Mom then walks really fast with the stroller so she can get home soon and make me sleep in my crib. My poor mom having to please both me and my brother – me wanting to get home and my brother wanting to stay out longer!
Wow folks, I sure can talk about myself on and on! Look how long this has turned out to be already. I better stop here or you may fall asleep – if you even got this far in the first place!
Ba-bye! Take care. See you tomorrow – like my brother says!
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Amazing courage
I saw this recently (also read the transcript) - it is truly inspiring.
Dr.Randy Pausch is a 47 year old computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, who is dying of Pancreatic cancer. He gave what is called "The last lecture" on Sep.18.2007 - about achieving childhood dreams. I found this lecture to be so inspiring, so touching and heart breaking. His courage in the face of his terminal illness is just incredible - especially considering he has three very young children. I guess it's not how long you live but how you live that really matters. God knows how much longer he will live - miracles happen and he may live longer than predicted now - nevertheless he has lived such a model life for his children thus far. They would have learned so much already from his example. Many of you may already know about this lecture but I wanted to share it with you just in case you have not come across this.
Dr.Randy Pausch is a 47 year old computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, who is dying of Pancreatic cancer. He gave what is called "The last lecture" on Sep.18.2007 - about achieving childhood dreams. I found this lecture to be so inspiring, so touching and heart breaking. His courage in the face of his terminal illness is just incredible - especially considering he has three very young children. I guess it's not how long you live but how you live that really matters. God knows how much longer he will live - miracles happen and he may live longer than predicted now - nevertheless he has lived such a model life for his children thus far. They would have learned so much already from his example. Many of you may already know about this lecture but I wanted to share it with you just in case you have not come across this.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Back from yet another trip!
Happy new year to you and you and you! :) And your family! Wish you good health and happiness in the coming year!
We went to my brother's place to attend a wedding reception, family get together and got back late Tuesday night (Jan.1). The travel alone was 11 hrs door to door - you can imagine how that would have been with two little kids in hand. I feel so bad for them - but they coped quite well. Thanks to the winter snow delays in Chicago etc, flights were delayed - I got our tickets re-routed, took a stand by flight (was confirmed for a later flight) - felt it was better than risking the Chicago route and having to spend the night there in case our flight got canceled!
I had this vague resolution shaping up in my head as we were flying back home - that I would be more patient and not loose my temper with B when I am tired of dealing with the kids. Resolutions are meant to be broken - in my case - even before I firmly made it into a resolution! :) B and I had a nice little fight towards the end of our journey. Baby girl who had been patient up to that point, suddenly was woke up because of all the sudden activity around her, lights, announcements etc and started crying - especially because the plane was beginning to land and the ear pressure was building up. KB in the mean while, as always chose that apt moment to stand on his seat and look around and play with the light switch etc and refused to sit down and wear his seat belt. I gave a glass of juice to B to hold and was trying to get KB to sit down in his seat. His highness Abdullah firmly said "No No seat belt. He wants to ninnun (stand)". I pulled at him strongly and he screamed. And baby girl also raised her pitch at the same time. I turned to B and snapped - can't you calm her down somehow?! And he in turn snapped back at me! I immediately relayed to him the exact count of the diaper changes and feedings I had done for the kids in all that time and how I am not being appreciated and instead being yelled at by him. All this in the midst of two kids who were being difficult. A good solid fight can't be let go at any time right?! :) All that cooled off when I had* to tell B about the Chinese woman behind me who asked me the kid's ages and told me "You have beautiful children". Our mood savior at that point! I had to share it with B. And we discussed how it must be KB's big eyes why she said that - since most Asian women who comment about him are drawn to his eyes because they are big. The kids cooperated well except for this last bit and we were glad to be home!
Now my cousins have also adopted KB's language after seeing him at my brother's place. They too say "Gojills" for "bath". Origin - we used to say "Jo kuli" to KB referring to taking a bath. And he changed that to "go gula". And later we twisted it to "Go Jilla" and now it is "Go jills". He wakes up in the morning and says, "Go Jills" time! :)
If I ask him, "Do you want to eat mam mam?", he answers me with another question in the same exact tone "Do you want to play water and spoon?" (his favorite game!).
These days, we are back to staging dramas for meal times. He had gotten out of it for a while. But the last few weeks, he decided to add a little excitement to our mundane lives. Every single meal pretty much we go through this little drama. I will ask him "Pupsi, eppo yenna time?" and he will continue what he is doing and nonchalantly say "Mam MAM time".
"Padutha poraya?" (You plan to trouble me?)
"Padutha poraya?"
I will ignore his repeating of my line and go towards him to get him. He will immediately say "Vendam"! (Dont' want it!).
"Ajoo, mum mum saapdanum". (You have to eat!)
Screaming, legs flailing, I carry him to his booster seat and buckle him up.
He will immediately make a funny Calvin face and say "Pidikave ille" (I don't even like it!) before even looking at what I have for him.
"That's OK. You have to eat it".
KB will then turn his face all the way to the back and I will drag it back to start giving him the first spoonful. He will resist fiercely. I will then say "Nee ippo saapadlenna naa yard'ku poiduven, varave matten" (If you don't eat now, I will go to the yard and never come back).
The first few days he used to protest the moment I opened the yard door. But last night he told me "Yardukku po".
I went out and stood there. I thought he would call out for me in about 20 seconds. No. I waited, took a few deep breaths. Nothing. After nearly five minutes, he said
"Mamma sapadrein". (Mamma, I will eat).
I come back calmly. He hands me his bib. I put it around his neck and he starts eating looking at his book like there was no fuss in the first place!
I am looking forward to more of such joys in 2008 - especially since I will be starting solids for baby girl this weekend. We did the token "Annaprashanam" for her at my brother's place - she seemed to like it. Hoping she will be an easy eater compared to KB!
You will hear more about it - as long as I continue blogging! :)
(Am not editing this post. Just wrote it quickly - feeling extremely sleepy since the kids are totally out of schedule and I have zero common nap time now - one kid or the other is always awake during the day)
We went to my brother's place to attend a wedding reception, family get together and got back late Tuesday night (Jan.1). The travel alone was 11 hrs door to door - you can imagine how that would have been with two little kids in hand. I feel so bad for them - but they coped quite well. Thanks to the winter snow delays in Chicago etc, flights were delayed - I got our tickets re-routed, took a stand by flight (was confirmed for a later flight) - felt it was better than risking the Chicago route and having to spend the night there in case our flight got canceled!
I had this vague resolution shaping up in my head as we were flying back home - that I would be more patient and not loose my temper with B when I am tired of dealing with the kids. Resolutions are meant to be broken - in my case - even before I firmly made it into a resolution! :) B and I had a nice little fight towards the end of our journey. Baby girl who had been patient up to that point, suddenly was woke up because of all the sudden activity around her, lights, announcements etc and started crying - especially because the plane was beginning to land and the ear pressure was building up. KB in the mean while, as always chose that apt moment to stand on his seat and look around and play with the light switch etc and refused to sit down and wear his seat belt. I gave a glass of juice to B to hold and was trying to get KB to sit down in his seat. His highness Abdullah firmly said "No No seat belt. He wants to ninnun (stand)". I pulled at him strongly and he screamed. And baby girl also raised her pitch at the same time. I turned to B and snapped - can't you calm her down somehow?! And he in turn snapped back at me! I immediately relayed to him the exact count of the diaper changes and feedings I had done for the kids in all that time and how I am not being appreciated and instead being yelled at by him. All this in the midst of two kids who were being difficult. A good solid fight can't be let go at any time right?! :) All that cooled off when I had* to tell B about the Chinese woman behind me who asked me the kid's ages and told me "You have beautiful children". Our mood savior at that point! I had to share it with B. And we discussed how it must be KB's big eyes why she said that - since most Asian women who comment about him are drawn to his eyes because they are big. The kids cooperated well except for this last bit and we were glad to be home!
Now my cousins have also adopted KB's language after seeing him at my brother's place. They too say "Gojills" for "bath". Origin - we used to say "Jo kuli" to KB referring to taking a bath. And he changed that to "go gula". And later we twisted it to "Go Jilla" and now it is "Go jills". He wakes up in the morning and says, "Go Jills" time! :)
If I ask him, "Do you want to eat mam mam?", he answers me with another question in the same exact tone "Do you want to play water and spoon?" (his favorite game!).
These days, we are back to staging dramas for meal times. He had gotten out of it for a while. But the last few weeks, he decided to add a little excitement to our mundane lives. Every single meal pretty much we go through this little drama. I will ask him "Pupsi, eppo yenna time?" and he will continue what he is doing and nonchalantly say "Mam MAM time".
"Padutha poraya?" (You plan to trouble me?)
"Padutha poraya?"
I will ignore his repeating of my line and go towards him to get him. He will immediately say "Vendam"! (Dont' want it!).
"Ajoo, mum mum saapdanum". (You have to eat!)
Screaming, legs flailing, I carry him to his booster seat and buckle him up.
He will immediately make a funny Calvin face and say "Pidikave ille" (I don't even like it!) before even looking at what I have for him.
"That's OK. You have to eat it".
KB will then turn his face all the way to the back and I will drag it back to start giving him the first spoonful. He will resist fiercely. I will then say "Nee ippo saapadlenna naa yard'ku poiduven, varave matten" (If you don't eat now, I will go to the yard and never come back).
The first few days he used to protest the moment I opened the yard door. But last night he told me "Yardukku po".
I went out and stood there. I thought he would call out for me in about 20 seconds. No. I waited, took a few deep breaths. Nothing. After nearly five minutes, he said
"Mamma sapadrein". (Mamma, I will eat).
I come back calmly. He hands me his bib. I put it around his neck and he starts eating looking at his book like there was no fuss in the first place!
I am looking forward to more of such joys in 2008 - especially since I will be starting solids for baby girl this weekend. We did the token "Annaprashanam" for her at my brother's place - she seemed to like it. Hoping she will be an easy eater compared to KB!
You will hear more about it - as long as I continue blogging! :)
(Am not editing this post. Just wrote it quickly - feeling extremely sleepy since the kids are totally out of schedule and I have zero common nap time now - one kid or the other is always awake during the day)
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