Thursday, October 25, 2007

Life can be so unfair to some...

Stories like these are ones that make me appreciate life as it is rather than feel depressed about all that it is lacking in. My aunt was visiting me the last few days. A relative of hers (related to her in-laws) was supposed to visit her at my place.
This is a young woman around age 32 who is working and stays by herself.
She was not meant to be that way when she came to the US.
She got married pretty late by Indian standards. 30 plus. She could not easily find a partner to suit her height and also have the horoscopes match well. Finally she did find someone that fit the bill and she got married. They were very happy together, went on a honeymoon in India and then he returned to the US. He had been living in the US for many years and was quite familiar with the place. No one from her immediate family resided in the US. She waited nearly 10m or so and finally got her Green card and moved to the US.
The next 40 days were one of the happiest in her life. Those spent with her husband. Being blissfully married. Until that horrible day when he just suddenly collapsed and passed away instantly of a cerebral hemorrhage. Not knowing too many people in the US and none in the immediate vicinity, she had to manage through this unbelievable tragedy on her own. Until her brother came to help her out a little later. She went with the body of her deceased husband for the cremation in India. She had bought him a nice pair of pants and shirt for their first anniversary. He was dressed in that very outfit on the day of his cremation. Until that moment she had held back her tears. And then she let go. She would not let go of his body for over an hour. They had to pry her away from the coffin to make her let go. He was cremated on their first wedding anniversary.
She is apparently one of the sweetest people my aunt has known. And I spoke to her last night over the phone - she sounds that way too. Why does life turn out this way for some people? She continues to stay on here rather than go back to India. She has found herself a job and continues to live in the same city her husband used to live in. How does one ever come to terms with something so tragic? Why, why, why?! I have not even met her and it makes me feel so terrible - how do her parents deal with this? She may eventually get over this and find another person or manage on her own. But such things scar you for life. She was shown how happy one can be with a good partner and then it was snatched away from her in the most abrupt and cruel manner. I just don't understand why such things happen to people.
I hope and pray that she is able to come to terms with this and move on in life.

12 comments:

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...
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Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

Its very unfair on the poor lady ... I just hope God gives her the strength to cope up with the situation.

Aryan's Mom said...

God will for sure give her a good life in future and hope she forgets her past and live her present life..(Easy to say,,)

DotMom said...

oh my god noon. The story sent shivers down my spine. OMG. Can you reach out to her? there are support groups to help her deal with this tragedy. She must be an unbelivevable woman to have the strength to work and live here all by herself in the midst of this calamity. My thoughts and prayers are with her. I am sure she will get through this. Life can be such a b***h sometimes.

Poppins said...

OMG, that sounds so so so sad. To be stuck in a foreign land, to be meeting her husband after so long and have such short time with him !

Makes you think that we need to make the most of every moment, that instead of finding fault with our life partners for the small things, we need to appreciate what a gift we actually have !

noon said...

CA - yeah very unfair..

Aryan's mom - well yes one can only hope...

dotmom - I know what you mean - shivers down the spine - I could not stop thinking about her all day when I heard about this...

Poppins - Totally agree - we really need to make the most of every moment!

ddmom said...

Noon, that's a story very close to heart. A friend lost her husband last year while vacationing in India. She has a girl 2 months younger to D. Her house went into forclosure as they defaulted on payment. She has never worked before and is now struggling with the idea of going to work to support her daughter.
It has been over a year since this happened, but she is unable to come to terms with it. I offered her to come stay with me for sometime till she sorts things out, but she refuses.

This lady from your post should be an amazing lady. To do what she is doing. Its an eye opener for a lot of us who take life for granted.

mnamma said...
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mnamma said...

Just thinking about it gives me the jitters Noon. It is when things like these happen that we start to have questions about our faith. Very heart-rending.

noon said...

DDmom - god - feel very very sorry for your friend. At some level - seeing it from the outside, I think the person I wrote about can deal with it better than your friend because at least she doesn't have this major responsibility along with her grief. I don't know which is better - to have a child or not to have a child in this kind of situation. With a child, at least there is something of that person in the child...to cherish. Sweet of you to offer to help her out...

noon said...

Mnamma - yes, really it can shake your belief system...

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