KB will turn three on Aug.3.08. I wanted to write down things about him for myself because by next year he would have changed so much that I would forget so many little details about him. And I find that I have so many things to write about him that this post is going to be very long. So I decided to post it in two or three parts. I don't expect you to find it all very interesting but it's out there for you in case you do find it interesting!
I think back to the day I saw the two lines on the home test. I distinctly remember B coming back from work and me telling him about the home test and I felt blood rushing to my face. Me, a mother?! I could not believe that I was going to enter that world - the other side - from being carefree to becoming responsible for another human being. I was going to experience the miracle of feeling a life growing in me and giving birth - it really felt exhilarating for that one instant. There are very few instances in my life when I have felt that kind of exhilaration. KB, my little baby who brought me into that wonderful world of motherhood first - he is now going to be three. So much has happened since he came into my life. The best being the arrival of his dear sister KG and the saddest being the passing away of my father and B's mother. And KB has been with me already sharing in his own way such important moments in my life. KB, my first born, my heart, my inspiration in kindness and compassion - is now a little boy!
When KB was born, tons of people who saw his picture emailed me or called my mother or B and told us that he was a carbon copy of me in looks. My friend just could not stop raving to my mother as to how could it even be possible for a newborn to look so exactly like his mother! And this trend continues even now - so many people who see him say, "Gosh, he looks JUST like you!". I just cannot see the resemblance at all - though I believe he does resemble me. There is also a lot of my personality in him according to B. Well, he is just like you in every thing B says. That scares me a lot. I don't want him to be like me in a lot of things - but I hope I learn to accept it if that is the case!
KB also takes after my father in some things. My father was a very sociable and jovial person. He had the habit of making friends out of co passengers during a journey by striking a conversation even with the most serious looking ones. KB does the same. If I take him to Kohls or Target with me and I pause to look at some clothes, he walks to the nearest person and says, "Excuse me"...and the person says, "Yes? Hiii?". KB then says, "This is KB and that is my sister KG. And Daddy has gone to office!". And if they are kind enough to ask him more questions, he gladly tells them his whole life story. "I like to read books. I like to read "When Daddy travels" book" and on and on he goes. My father was an extremely clean person. KB takes after him in that. Sometimes it borders on obsessive and it really upsets me at times. If a small drop of paint touches his finger, he will make me wipe it with wet tissue or water, if not, he will not continue what he was doing. And when I am feeding him his meal, if a drop of food is stuck to his chin, I have to wipe it, if not he will not open his mouth for the next spoon of food. My father always remembered people and incidents well. He could tell me events that happened in his childhood down to the finest detail. KB too suddenly talks about some incident that happened six months back about which we never talked about since it happened. I guess this is how my father makes his presence felt in my life.
KB is kindness and compassion personified. Well, he does have moments when he yells at KG - but that too is largely my fault - he sees me yell at her sometimes - so he too shouts out her name when she grabs his balloon or pen etc. But say if B and I are in the midst of an argument and I am on the verge of tears and I thump my palm on my fore head and plonk on the sofa looking sad, he comes to me and gives me a hug and says "I will give you a hug...don't kochi (yell) Daddy, mamma!" And he gives me a kiss. With his eyes nearly tearing up, he asks me to bend down to his level and he rubs my fore head because that's where I hit myself when I sat down. If KG grabs something from him, he will shout and scream - things he learned from having to deal with this constantly - but he still will not be violent with her. And many times, he will give her what she wants and look at me and say "Kutti baby wants my balloon" like he is much older than her! If he even over hears a conversation about his cousin or someone being sick, he will just worry about it and ask about it over and over. And if I even hint of some pain, he will just keep asking about it until I tell him I am OK. He is so compassionate and kind that I sometimes worry that he will get hurt if he continues to be that way even when he grows up. But let's hope that he will continue to be that way because the world does need more of those!
KB has a thoughtful look in his eyes most of the time and often spaces out to imagine situations we tell him about or that he reads in his books. He loves to read and has an amazing memory for the books he reads. He knows his alphabets but doesn't know to read yet. But he can read every page of a book like "Me too Iguana" verbatim. Even if I miss one word and say "Iguana saw Lion getting his hair trimmed", he will correct me and say "Iguana saw Lion getting his MANE trimmed" stressing on where I went wrong. He does the same with his music CDs. He knows the order of songs in all his favorite CDs and as soon as one song is about to finish he tells me which one would be coming next. He has some favorite songs that he likes to listen to many times in a day but in general he will not let me stop a song in the middle and forward it to his favorite song. His current top favorite is "There's a hole in my bucket, Dear Liza". He will tell me "Indha song mudinjutom, appram we can play that song". He still has not caught on to the TV bug but I figured once he joins school, if he asks to watch some good programs on TV, I will let him watch for a little while - until then I just let it be.
(To be continued).