Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Shantha swaroopini - 3

I was initially thinking I would stop at part 2. But there are a couple of things about her that I forgot to mention that I am sure I would delight in remembering when she is much older. So I had to continue on with this thread.

KG has a way of dealing with anger - both hers and mine. It amazes me when I witness "inherent nature" right in front of me in my two kids. There is only so much nurture can do in shaping a person's personality. When we were in NJ visiting my cousin, KG was constantly climbing up and down the stairs and refusing to come down to what ever it was I was calling her for. When I yelled at her, she just screamed "I want fruit snack and joooooos". A totally irrelevant comment said in a complaining tone. She doesn't know how to respond to my adult way of yelling with a string of words said rapidly, but she deflects it with randomness. She just throws you off and makes you ask "What?". She does this so often - just say something - sometimes funny also - that you just loose that heat of your temper a little bit! KB on the other hand would take my words seriously and respond like a lawyer with an argument addressing exactly what I said in yelling at him!

How can I post about KG's personality without mentioning how she is the biggest fan and biggest "pest" her brother has?! Right from learning her ABC's to learning about dinosaurs and to "inventing" dinosaurs she has learned every bit on her own from just being around her brother. We read to her but I never had to sit with her and show her her letters or numbers. When/how she learned it without going to school I don't know but I think it is totally thanks to her brother. What ever he does, she has to do. If he drops a pencil on the floor by chance, she has to also drop something - if she doesn't have anything in her hand, she will pick one up and drop it just like her brother! If he watches "Scooby-doo" she has to also watch it. She used to watch "Star wars" with him and know all the main characters at age 2.5 when KB was totally crazy about it. She used to pretend to defeat imaginary bad guys with her light saber just like her brother KB. I had to buy her a light saber because KB insisted I do so! And now that he has moved on from "Star wars" to "Scooby-doo", she too has moved on and sings the Scooby-doo title song one that she learned on her own. She sings a big song on "Triceratops" dinosaur from just listening to a "Dinosaurs" music CD in the car because KB catches on to the words of every song and sings along. If she messes up some words, of course, her perfectionist brother argues with her saying, "KG, you know to say three, it is three sharp horns upon it's nose, NOT "gree""! We love her baby talk and if she sings the words wrong, we make no attempt to correct her. But KB doesn't allow that. He was a born thatha, always pronouncing the words correctly! So he doesn't let his sister get away with it if he thinks she is capable of saying some word the correct way. Which by the way KG pronounces as "Kerect" and so both me and husband always say "Oh, yeah, KG, you said it the "kerect" way!".

KG also gets on KB's nerves by breaking toys, tearing pages in books, ripping things apart etc! His "lift the flap" books from when he was a baby - most of the flaps would be totally intact and in good condition. Unless a few tore from over use. But KG on the other hand was not interested in what was under the flap. She was interested in the flap itself. She would try to rip it first. And for a long time, she did not want us to read any books with long sentences. KB used to read 20 page books back to us verbatim at age 2.5. No kidding. KG on the other hand at 2.5 was still absolutely not interested in long story books. Just wanted to look at the pictures and she wanted us to tell her the story in Tamil/English mixed in colloquial style. All of a sudden in the last few months she loves to listen to story books. Thanks to KB she even listens to "Dinosaur encylopedia" and "Magic tree house" books and asks us to tell her Jack & Annie stories. Like her brother she even invents dinosaurs. Though she can't tell us details of its anatomy and diet and location where the fossils were discovered etc like KB does, she still does a pretty good job of making it up. She told me yesterday, "Mamma, I invented a dinosaur. It is called Loxtasaurus. It is like a snake and it is taller than a dinosaur. It eats spiders"!

People including my husband sometimes tease me that I do have a little extra soft spot for KB. It is so hard to explain...I just love them both the same but in different ways. KB, I feel protective of even now because I feel like he needs me more and is more sensitive. KG, I am so grateful to, because she needs me less emotionally but I give my heart to her because she has helped me so much already by just being her. KB had to deal with our stumbling and learning as first time parents. KG benefited from it. With KB we had no yard sticks to compare him to for learning milestones. KG - we compared her to KB but with the ease that comes with second time around, not worrying but just noting the differences. KG enriches both KB's and our lives with her easy temperament. KB makes us feel love, joy, anxiety - all emotions - as intensely as he does. KB's intensity and perfectionist attitude is complemented by KG's carefree and daring attitude. KB is bold and confident when it comes to talking to new people. KG would be shy and take longer to warm up. KB (at age three) made it so difficult for me to leave him in a new preschool. KG is about to start preschool in September. Yet it is KB who I worry about because he is going to start Kindergarten in a Montessori environment which is new to him. They are both so different. But when B asked him yesterday, "KB, are you excited that you will have five days holidays after your summer program ends and your kindergarten starts? You will be home with Mamma?". He said immediately, "Daddy, I am excited because I can play with KG!". Even today if someone asks him what his favorite thing to do is, he would say "Playing with my sister"! On Raksha Bandan day, I pray to the powers that be, "Please, let them be as bonded as they are today and be there for each other always!" and "God hope their spouses get along really well"!

I was going to post photos - instead decided to make it per interest. So if you would like to see the photos I was going to post pertaining to this post, please mail me at wondernoon@gmail and I will send you the link. I still havent' put it up, but will do if any one mails me!


Praveen said...

Can I see the pics please?

bitsofchocolate said...

Nurture is probably 1% - nature triumphs 99% - especially in the "not so nice" characteristics

Sometimes the outwardly strong/nonchalant kids are more vulnerable inside

Aryan said...

Hey..such a warm post..I can totally relate KB with aryan..Hey I know it was KG's post..but she is cool little tigress...she knows to handle everything, even ur anger...Aryan and KB chooses to do the same when someone is angry.....

LOl..on dinaosurs eatuing spider!!!!!

ranjani.sathish said...

Hey pics please !!!

mnamma said...

What an adorable character!!! Loved the way she diffuses anger - I have been seeing the same with Lily. SHe calls out "amma" in her sweetest voice and just gives me a kiss when I am angry with her :) The Anna-thangai relationship is so heart warming!!! May they remain like this always!! And Pictures pretty please!! Will send you an email.

noon said...

Praveen - will surely send the link once I post it.

PV - only 1% is nurture you think?

Aryan - Thanks! I suppose Aryan too logically breaks down your argument! :)

Ranj - shall send it.

Mniamma - yes, only if you mail me a long one with all the news! :)

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