Friday, April 04, 2008

To bed at 7.30pm

There is something about the moment when I take KG to her crib and put her in there for the night. Especially now that it is spring and the days are longer, it is still somewhat bright at 7.30pm when I take her in for her bed time. Sometimes a little earlier than that, sometimes a little later than that.

Downstairs KB will be busy bouncing his blue ball or changing CDs in the CD player. And there will be some music or the other playing. Until that time KG would have been playing downstairs and trying to grab any toy that KB was playing with...crawling around to visit me in the kitchen or poke at some interesting object on her way and stop right there. Suddenly her bedtime will come and I see her looking more subdued. A few minutes later, she rubs her eyes and looks obviously sleepy. I take her upstairs to her crib, turn on the lullabies CD, turn down the blinds and make her cozy under her blankets. There is something about that moment that I find so pure, so baby like. No matter what fun activity is happening downstairs, when it is her bedtime, much earlier than any of ours, she is ready to sleep. There is something tranquil about her being able to do that. To have her own schedule, to detach herself from the rest of the world at that moment and sleep peacefully. With the piano lullabies playing softly, in the dim light seeping through crevices in the windows, there is a feeling of peace when I put her in the crib. In that fleeting moment I feel a sense of bliss. As she pulls her legs forward ,lifts her back up, curls into a ball and puts her thumb in her mouth and drifts off to sleep, I feel as if I am observing something very special at that moment. I cherish now every such moment with my little baby - even more so than I did with KB - because I know this is it - our times with our children as babies.

Each day forward there is the excitement of the new, their new milestones and seeing them grow. But each passing day also means one step closer to our having to let go of them. Our little babies who are now ours totally, whole heartedly, unconditionally, will become individuals in their own right and we will be a subset in their world but not be their entire world like it is now. The loss of their innocence and the beauty of their growth intermingle in making this time sweet and heart breaking at the same time. Despite the aggravations of every day life, managing the work, dealing with people etc, I cherish this time - seeing the two children grow, interact and truly live in the moment.

16 comments:

ranjani.sathish said...

Noon,
You have captured your thoughts and feelings so beautifully !

Orchid said...

and that's all that matters really..living in the moment! looks like you have it figured out noon.

Collection Of Stars said...

That was a lovely post :)
I keep reminding myself to do just the same but sometimes falter :(

Usha said...

:) a beautiful moment captured well.

the mad momma said...

i am most envious. the bean still doesnt sleep through the night. and never goes down without a fight. ... no matter what i do.

you're right. these moments are so beautiful... hold on to them... and share them with us when you can..

noon said...

Ranjani - thanks!

Orchid - I don't live in the moment as much as I would like to...but at least I am very aware of how for both me and B these few years are going to be amongst the best in our lives...when our children are still babies and so innocent and loving...

CofS,Usha - thanks...

MM - I know what you are going through - I went through that with KB. And in some ways he is still that way. I put KG in the crib in the afternoons for her nap and I spend 10 -15 min singing and patting KB to make him nap...some days it is v quick...some days for ever!
And yes, these moments are a blessing for us...I am so aware of it this time around...and I enjoy those when I read your posts as well!

Rohini said...

Wow!!! Is this what it feels like? I can't wait to experience these little things of life...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Noon, they were wonderful and touching to say the least!

Sunita said...

You have said it so beautifully. very true :)

DotMom said...

wow. what a lovely slice of life post!

Rohini said...

The sleep ritual you have is so beautiful. I am positively green with envy ;)

Aryan said...

Lovely post noon..I can understand that bliss what you are taking about. I put aryan in thooli and switch on the song(Korai ondrum illai..he listen to that song only)he automatically keeps hands on his eyes, indicating that he closed his eyes, while his eyes will be still open!!!!
Kids are amazing...
AM

Sumana said...

hello noon,
Nice one. Very true, the way they detach themselves and know that it is time for them to sleep or nap. They are so cute in their own little worlds.

bird's eye view said...

Nice post, Noon. With Chubbocks we never managed to establish a proper bedtime ritual until he was older, but with Puds, she's been going to sleep like an angel since she was 3 months old, and it's so nice to see how quickly she snuggles into sleep. Wish my insomniac mind could learn from her!

bird's eye view said...

BTW, you are tagged!

noon said...

Rohini, Sunita, Dotmom - thanks!

Ro - Well, I know the green with envy feeling because I went through all of that (and still do) wrt KB sleep...he is such a restless sleeper...talks in his sleep, laughs and guffaws in his sleep and of course cries suddenly!

Aryan - Wow - that sounds so good to me - sleeping to kurai onrum illai...

Sumana - although lately she has been wanting to stay up later and later - even since I wrote this post...used to sleep at 7.00pm now some days it is 9.00 when she sleeps...

BEV - Gosh looks like we are in similar situations...KB & KG are like that...one sleeps so poorly, other not too bad...
BTW - will chk out the tag soon.

karmickids said...

This was a truly beautiful post. God bless you and your two...