How much is the doggie in the window...

KB is growing up in ways that are different from just recognizing objects,saying words etc. He is able to comprehend emotions and feelings - in ways that I cannot understand. I talk to B or my sister assuming KB won't be paying attention to me and later I find in subtle ways that he has heard and understood some of it too.

KB loves music - some days he asks me to play M.S.S Ganesh Pancharatnam, other days, he brings "Lagaan" CD and asks me to play it or does so himself. Mostly these days, he listens to children's song CDs. This CD is now one of his favorites. And the song "How much is the doggie in the window" is the top of his favorites list. He listens to it quietly and looks like he is very deep in thought.

KB and I have our meal time tussles as you all know by now. We go through smooth phases and then suddenly the drama starts again - I have to yell, threaten to go to the yard and not come back in unless he eats etc. He may cry in the process but the kind of whiny crying just to make my life difficult and then when I come back in, he would eat like it was no problem at all in the first place. But the other day things played out a little differently. He gave me a hard time to get started and as always was eating slowly. Very slowly. He would open his mouth like a little bird. I was losing my patience because baby girl was sitting in the bouncer and I didn't want her to start getting too impatient. As it is, she has to patiently wait 45 min to one hour while he eats. I keep engaging her as well while feeding KB. In my frustration over his pace of eating, I yelled at him to PLEASE open his mouth like a tiger and not a bird. "Big Big Big" I yelled at him.
"Small'aaa" he yelled back at me.

I just shook my head and continued to give him tiny bits of food in the spoon. Now obviously he was even more defiant. So I gave up and silently gave the food. After a while, when he asked for some toy or the other and kept dragging the whole thing, I just lost it and just sighed and put the food on the table. I told him he was driving me crazy (payitham pidikardhu yenakku unnode!). He was now upset. Pouted some, but somehow we battled on and he finished the food.

I brought the yogurt which he usually likes and looks forward to at every meal. He had a few spoons and casually said "no". I was tired of fighting him at this point. I got him out of his chair and helped him wash his mouth and let him go. I came back to the table and put my head on it and said "Mamma, very sad. That you didn't finish the yogurt". He looked at me silently, defiantly and just stood there. For a good two minutes. He then came running to me, tears streaming down and picked up the yogurt and gave it in my hand and made me give it to him. I felt like my heart would break at that gesture. He would eat just because I was sad?!

After he finished his yogurt, I made myself a sandwich and sat down to eat. The entire 15 minutes until I made it, ate it and cleaned up he just sat quietly, thinking and sulking. The first time ever. I had never seen him so quiet, sitting in one place with tears in his eyes. All this while listening to the song, "how much is the doggie". And suddenly he said "Doggie sad". I asked him "why?" and he just repeated "Doggie sad". I could not bear to see him sad. Those large eyes filled with tears. I have had him cry in protest but never looking really sad like this. I hugged him tight and told him that the doggie was not sad and that the doggie was very happy.

A little later, he listened to that song again. He was standing there listening to those words as if he was imagining all of it in his head. And he exclaimed to me "And the doggie will have a good home". I made it into a story and told him "Yeah, Aunty will take good care of the doggie. She will give him "Mum mum", "Mac n cheese", "Jooch" "Milk", and paatu paduvaa (sing songs), ellam pannuva, fun'aa irukkum doggie'ku"". Now he repeats this story like a song in itself. He is so moved by that line, he thinks about it and then comes to me and tells me all this all over again. He said this to my sister over the phone today. I just cannot believe that he is able to relate to this idea. I just wish I could get into his head and see what image he has conjured up of the doggie getting a good home. I wish I could really understand his feelings. It is trivial but I still want to know. He fights me hard at his meals. And later I see him standing in front of the CD player absorbed in thought about the doggie getting a good home. I just want to hug him tight and tell my little baby that all is well for him and for the doggie and that the world is a happy place. Well, I didn't say anything really, I held him close and listened to the song with him.

How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale

I must take a trip to California
And leave my poor sweetheart alone
If she has a dog, she won't be lonesome
And the doggie will have a good home

How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale

I read in the paper there are robbers (roof! roof!)
With flashlights that shine in the dark
My love needs a doggie to protect her
And scare them away with one bark

How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window? (arf! arf!)
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I do hope that doggie's for sale