Thursday, January 24, 2008

Thank god for little mercies...

I should in fact title this as "Thank god for big mercies". I have written a few posts (incidentally I just noticed this is my 75th post - it could well be my 100th - I would not know since I have deleted quite a few of my old posts) on how kutti boy gives me a hard time when it comes to feeding him his meals. I felt (much as I am truly scared of jinxing it!) I should also write a post on how grateful and happy I am that so far baby girl has been so good to me when it comes to feeding her solids. SO FAR! Knock on wood! Run folks, please do knock on wood for me! :))

When my mom was getting ready to leave, I had knots in my stomach. I was not afraid of the work really - I was anyway doing most of the baby care on my own. But the biggest help she gave me was watching baby girl while I fed KB his meals. Baby girl would be upstairs with my mom while my mom watched sun TV or read her books. Another huge help was just having my mom around when baby girl was sleeping - I could use that time to take KB out to the park or to the shop with me. My mother's leaving meant I would have to feed KB while also taking care of baby girl. It takes 45 minutes minimum to give him each meal and sometimes one hour - I have made that my cut off - I just stop then. I used to feel so bugged and worn out at the end of the day when I just thought of having to go through the feeding battles again the next day. And how on earth will I find the patience to feed one more child? What if she too took one hour? I was letting my imaginations run wild...that I would fling the cup of cereal having lost my temper - like one of those vile mother-in-law type characters that I caught a glimpse of on Sun TV serials. I talked to my friends over and over that week if I should hire a nanny for a few hours and go through the pain of picking her up and dropping her off. I talked to my one friend who managed on her own as to how she did it. The difference was that she had a ton of family members within a mile of where she lived. So that didn't count in my opinion. She could* get a break if need be where as I could not. Yet another friend told me that I would be reaaaally stretching myself very thin if I tried to manage both kids on my own especially considering B comes home past 8.00pm each day. Her children are 14m apart and she followed her mother to India (for 6m) when she left! I was so afraid. My mother (while she herself is quite the worry worm in my opinion) again told me what her father would have told her : don't worry, you will find a way. God will show you the way. Another close friend's mother, a very spiritual person, said the same thing to me "God will show you the way, don't worry". I jokingly asked her if God would physically come and help me out.

And really there is some merit to facing the battles only when you need to. I worried myself sick that week as to how I would do it. If I could do it. If the children will cope. And in this regard I feel so grateful to baby girl for helping me out. Well, both the children really. KB has been very patient and accommodating when I have to nurse baby girl. I heard from so many people that the first child gets jealous and pinches the second one etc. None of that so far with KB. He follows me to the room and does his own thing or plays with baby girl while I nurse her. Only very rarely if he is terribly hungry or tired has he given a hard time asking me to attend to him right then. Baby girl - oh dear - she has been an angel so far with respect to feeding her and making her nap. I just wish I could tell her and make her understand how thankful I am to her for this. If she were to take as long as KB did when he was 7m old for solids, I would be going nuts really. She opens her mouth wide, eats quickly and when she is full she just turns away and shuts her mouth tight indicating she is done. And I stop. Game over. Simple. I just cannot even believe it - that it can** be this simple. And naps - with KB - may be it's a first child thing - I used to put him on my lap, sing to him and after he went into deep sleep, gently, slowly lift him and put him in the crib. He would wake up in 15 min or so. Start over. After some 7m of this, finally I had to do a modified Ferber treatment to get him to nap in the crib during day time and to sleep through the night. This is not to put him down in any way - he has been so supportive and amazing in his own way. This is just to show how different it is with the second child. With baby girl, I just let her play downstairs until she starts scratching her eyes, ears to indicate she is sleepy. I then take her upstairs to the crib, make her snug under her comforters, pull down the shutters and turn on the music and leave the room.
Thank you God, Thank you! Thank you baby girl for being so good. Please do continue to be this way! And KB you too - please continue to love your sister the way you do now. You have adjusted so well to this new addition to our family - I am filled with pride and joy at this. I will allow you your meal time battles just a little for having been so good to us parents and to your little sister!

On that happy note, I complete my 75th post - if such numbers mean anything! :)

18 comments:

ranjani.sathish said...

Hi Noon !
Congratulations on reaching so far and may you continue to do more and more wonderful posts like now :-)

I perfectly agree with your mother about the fact that God helps in some way coming in the form of our kids who very surprisingly cooperate with us when we least expect it ! I think HE also helps us by making us think creatively and out of the box, that we surprise ourselves at solutions that we arrive to previously thought of us as "monster" problems. We might not have come up with such solutions, if we had someone else to help us out.

Good babies - KB and kutti girl for helping your mom out in your own little ways!!

Poppins said...

Congratulations Noon. I love reading you so much !! KG does sound like a harrassed mother's dream come true, sleeping and eating well. Knock on wood a million times.

I knew somehow that she wouldn't trouble you for the eating part. Mostly because of how chubby she looks and because I knew your breastfeeding was going well. Maybe I felt that KG was a lot like Poppin (when she was a baby that is) in that respect, generally someone who enjoys her meals.

KB is so so sweet, his affection so unbelievable. Good bless Noon, you're an inspiration to me, managing both of them on your own so well.

DotMom said...

It's amazing how you manage two children all by yourself in this country. Not just on pysical level, but more on emotional/mental level. I have rapped my desk a zillion times to break any bad spells :) And if it makes you feel any better, Chip also takes 30-45 mins to eat dinner.

Congratulations on the 75th. I really enjoy reading your posts. Your writing is so simple and straight and direct. Very unpretentionous and very honest. Here's to 750 posts!

Lavs said...

Numbers always mean something, congrats on the 75th post. I hope and pray that Kutti boy soon stops troubling during meal times. I can imagine how tough it must be for you, do not worry…Rainbow is just around the corner.

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

Managing 2 babies all by yourself.... thats truly amazing. You know,I read somewhere that it is easily equivalent to 2 jobs.
Isn't it amazing that both kids are helping you in their own little ways and making your life easier (well ... atleast not tough). Well done on the sleeping habit!!

Tharini said...

Tagged Noonie..
http://winkiesways.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-little-time-machine.html

Shobana said...

Woohoo!!! Isn't she the angel of a baby that all parents pray for? I am glad that she is so supporting and co-operating in her own way. And I am sure that KB will also learn to be more responsible as time goes on. Don't fret much. Congrats on the 75th.

Preethi said...

Congratulations on the 75th post.. and congratulations for managing so well :) And loads of hugs to both KB and KG for being such angels!!! Now I am off to knock on wood!

noon said...

Hi Ranjani
Thanks...I keep thinking I should stop blogging - for the main reason that it takes up so much time - since it is so addictive. Both to write and read other blogs.
I don't know if I can take any credit here - if the kids had not cooperated, I could not have managed. I have only them to thank for this.

Poppins - thanks so much. Baby girl - yes, god am so scared as to when this will change but so far I feel so grateful to her for being a easy baby. I have other things to do deal with with her - like her Eczema - I have to go to difft dermatologists, try difft creams, she is allergic to milk and I have to watch what I give her - but at least the problems are different so I am able to manage. And yes KB - my god - he is like an adult sometimes - so patiently he comes and gives the ball to her even if he is doing something else - he goes and says hi to her if she is getting bored etc. Thanks for calling me an inspiration - really , it's not me, it's the kids! And partly it's just that I don't have much of a choice but to manage!

noon said...

Dotmom - the emotional part is the hard part for me. Esp on rainy or cold days - you look out at 4.00 pm, it is almost dark, a lone walker taking his dog for a walk if at all...quiet...just me and the kids. And if the one friend who lives within walking distance is not free - I have to somehow find that small window of time when both kids are awake/fed to take them out in the car (if it is raining out) and return before hte little one is ready for her evening nap. The isolation on such days is the rough part...
Thanks for the compliments. Feel embarrassed - didn't mean to draw attention to myself with the no 75 - nevertheless, can't deny it feels good to have people say they enjoy reading what I write !:)
750 - wow - I will be happy if I get to a 100! :)

noon said...

Lavs - Thanks! Speaking of rainbows - we saw amazing rainbow outside our window yesdy. It was so lovely! :)

CA - Thanks - I will tell my husband that - hey am working two jobs, you only one! :) Sleep habit for Ranju - partly it comes with experience and partly it's her...

Tharini - tagged for the memories post? Didn't see my name there - but assume that's what you mean...

noon said...

Shobana - Thanks for visiting..
Yeah - I keep thanking her for being supportive! About KB - I feel bad - he is really very responsible in most ways - he is incredibly supportive in fact - meal and naps - well he really is not able to eat fast - may be his throat...don't know...and naps - I think partly it comes with first time parenting - when he was a baby if he cried longer than 2-3 min, we would pick him up - until he was 7m and I decided to sleep train him...and in general like me he seems to be a restless sleeper...so I guess I have passed it on to him - picky eater-restless sleeper combo! :)

Preethi - thanks so much! And yes, do pray it doesn't change! :)

Rohini said...

I always believe the children sense how much their moms can take and behave accordingly. I think that's why second kids usually do end up being easier on their moms

Aryan said...

Hey congrats for 75th post...Cool that you could make the baby girl sleep soon.. I am still struggling with Aryan ..same way..putting him in lap..
Aryan's mom

Usha said...

Congratulations - and it is even more special because you managed 75 posts while managing two babies. Your patience is amazing because you don't just record what the kids are doing but also bring your perspective to a related issue of parenting a child and do such a neat job of it.
I am sure you appreciate the fact that you are having a complete experience with the kids being temperamentally so different.
Looking forward to many hundred posts on KB and the Chella ponnu.

noon said...

Rohini - yeah I think so too...but sometimes it is not the case - second child is more difficult which is actually really hard on the parents...since they get used to first being easy. Two of my friends are going through this and are in a state of shock as to how difficult kids can be!

Aryan - you should read one of my earlier ferber posts - you should try it out - it does work!

Usha - thanks - sweet compliment really. You must enjoy reading all our posts - from the perspective of one who has been there, done that and done it well! :)

bird's eye view said...

I don't know if it's the difference between the first and second or boy and girl - my elder one is a boy and my daughter, like yours, is super cooperative when it comes to eating and sleeping - she learnt to go to sleep on her own once put to bed, whereas Chubbocks still needs a bit more hand-holding in both areas.

Tharini said...

Congratulations Noonie! Numbers do mean something, esp when it is with reference to such open and heart-ful posts, such as yours.

I know what you mean by being thankful. Its funny, but these small small things go a long way in ensuring our survival during these crucial younger years, isn't it? I'll go bump my head on wood for you ok, don't worry. :)

Bless the little doll and her Prince Anna for being such a team for you!