Sunday, September 30, 2007

Fiding!

I thoroughly enjoyed this post by The Madmomma. Her children are a few months older than mine, but the age gap between our first and second child is the same – 22m.
I often wondered how she managed while nursing her little one and now this post made me feel less alone in what I go through. It is not harrowing or difficult – just something to deal with. Managing the first child who is also still a very young child (and would have been treated really like a baby had he been the only child) while nursing the second child.
I have KG (kutti girl) down on the “Boppy pillow” and sit down to nurse her on our bed. No matter what KB (kutti boy) is doing, the moment he sees me go upstairs to nurse, he follows me. So I just tell him matter of factly, like it is some kind of team work, “KG, vaa, kutti baby’ku fiding panlam”! (“fiding” he says for “feeding”). And the little troop of three marches on upstairs for the fiding mission. I never even thought for a second about closing the door when I nurse baby girl. It would have made my life and my mother’s life hell if KB had been shut out. He simply had to be allowed in the room and I just could not even imagine shutting him out every two hours when I nurse the little one.
Now, how do I tell this little toddler that she is a tender little baby and that he should not shriek in top pitch right by her ears “kutti kutti” or hold her little feet and pull and push on it while she is nursing? I know he won’t understand, I know he wont’ stop. She just has to learn to live with her brother petting her while she feeds. And I just assume she enjoys it.
I sit there like a captive cow watching his antics and often screaming on top of my voice when he suddenly darts out of my sight, and I maw “Amma…Amma….”, calling out to my mother to keep an eye on him. He suddenly runs out of the room carrying my water jug or doing peekaboo with KG’s blanket. I have horrible visions of little Jack tumbling down the stairs and us having to rush to the ER and I raise my voice even louder “Ammmmaaa…”. If the decibel level is particularly high, the poor little child gets startled. KB suddenly rushes back in, satisfied I suppose that he has rattled me enough and jumps back on bed and acts like he has missed his little sister all that while and bends down and rams his big head towards us. I just push him aside only to have him do it again. If he rams hard enough, KG pouts in the most adorable manner and I am secretly thanking him for bringing out such a cute expression on her face. Then he sits around talking about world affairs to me: “Flower, Bee, Jooch” he says, meaning “Bee went and drank juice from the flower”. “Kitty cat. Varave ille. Maadikku. Olinju. Yengyovaa” meaning “Kitty cat did not show up on his morning walk with Patti, it went upstairs and hid far away some place”. I am happy to keep him in conversation and away from anything that will stress me out. And suddenly he spots his Crayola washable markers. And sits down to draw “spilal” (spiral). Draws a spiral rapidly and suddenly throws the yellow marker on the bed and watches the ink seep through to the beige, just laundered bed sheet while I scream “No, no no, don’t do that. Take it off KG! Take it off NOW! And he looks at me wide eyed. Pauses. And then picks it up”. And says “Messy! “. Oh really? I didn’t know!
And then he looks out the window and says “Poochandi, vaa vaa vaa”. My mom tells him that the big bad guy on the tree top way up there “Poochandi” will come and get him when he does some mischief. He invites Poochandi lovingly waving his hand looking out the window because I screamed at him for messing up the bed sheet. Clearly this tactic is not working! He then orders me to stop feeding her and put her on the pillow next to him so he can pet her! I say “Wait Kanna, baby not done feeding” He starts raising his voice – “Pillow, Pillow….PILLOOOOOW”. And when she is done nursing, I triumphantly put her on the pillow and stretch and watch him fondly playing with his little sister tenderly putting his index finger on her cheeks or doing “nochee nochee” and put his nose against hers.
Challenging as it is to breast feed a second baby when there is another older sibling to take care of, it is also a lot of fun. There is company first of all. And then it is interesting to see how the little child just copes with all this and after a few days she is so cool about it – big brother keeps mauling her and I scream and chat and she learns to cope with it all. She doesn’t seem to mind and if she minds she lets us know. The first few weeks are a little difficult though until supply/demand is established and the older also comes to terms with mamma being tied up every two hours with nursing the little one. But the benefits of breast feeding are way too many to give up on it and it is worth persevering. My point is the one mentioned in this article: “"It can't do all of the things that are being claimed for it," Dr. Kramer said, injecting a note of caution into the debate. "But it probably does some of them." And even that makes it worth it. Because once we tide through the change phase for all of us – the mother, the first and the second child – it is smooth and becomes easy. Even if you confer one of the health benefits mentioned in this article (and many more), it is worth it.

15 comments:

Kodi's Mom said...

LOL! off topic, but what I esp loved abt this post was all the KB talk sprinkled in! - from fiding to "Olinju. Yengyovaa"
and Poochandi becoming a friend! reminds me of that line in Monsters inc..."kids these days! they just don't scare like they used to." :)

noon said...

Hi Kodi's mom - thanks...
Yes, kids these days - I feel like telling him - Hellou? You ought to be scared of poochandi not invite him over so affectionately waving your little hands. He even makes the sound of his (Poochandi's) car starting as if he is driving with KB after he gets him! :)

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

I am glad you have been able to make the "fiding" interesting !!
LOL on the poochandi invite!!

mnamma said...

That is a whole new perspective for me Noon :) I am smiling away at kutti boy's antics when you are tied up and cannot do anything about it. Sure it is challenging and can also get a bit frustrating at times! I did breast feed M and N for about a year and the first few months were very very difficult. My girls do the invite thing also - They invite 'Anniyan' :) to come and take me if I don't behave :)

noon said...

Hi CA - well thankfully KB is cooperating for the most part on the Fiding...if not goodness would have been so tough.Every two hrs or three hours that too.
Yeah I love the poochandi invite too - how he waves his hand towards the window and calls out to him!

Mnamma - Oh my - yes I am so eager to read about your first year - and I didn't think about this part of it - how did you breast feed twins...got used to it I s'pose. But must have been so tiring...
Looks like then a lot of kids areofnd of their poochandi types! :) I like "anniyan"! :)

ranjani.sathish said...

Hi Noon
I enjoyed reading this post and was smiling to myself :-). But yeah can understand how difficult it must be when you have two kids so close in age and can't explain certain things to the elder one!

noon said...

Hi Ranjani,
Thanks. How was it for you? It is a whole different ball game when the older one is old enough to understand some yet not fully understand...makes it even more difficult right?

the mad momma said...

oh God noon, it's like you were sitting in my room and watching all the drama! we have the same probs. he wants to touch her feet, he wants to have her lie next to him etc... i go crazy

noon said...

Hi MM,
And that's how I felt when I read your post. And enjoyed it soo much! Felt like - wow - she goes through the same things...minus the stair case I suppose. But then you have hard marble floors there - so lots to worry there too!

Rohini said...

So did you manage to stick to feeding on demand. What if she wants a feed when you are busy with Kutti - either his meals or something else?

Aryan's Mom said...

Hi Noon,

That was cool...I really enjoyed reading it..Especially the poochandi part...

Anonymous said...

I - trying to see if anon posts -- if it does you can try again.

noon said...

Rohini - It was more like - feeding even if there is no demand - I couldn't help it - first month of course it was tough esp during lunch or eve times because I would really have to feed on demand and it would coincide with Kutti boy's meal times etc. But now I just try to stagger everything - but sometimes if I feel it will get too late for me to give KB his lunch, I end up waking up baby girl after 3 hrs and feeding her and then moving on the KB while my mom takes care of her. But my mom is leaving in Nov - then I may just collapse in a heap not knowing what to do with her when kutti boy needs to be fed!

Aryan's mom - thanks...guess poochandi has now become everyone's pal! :)

Sue said...

I don't care what you and MM say, next child is at least nine years off! (Keeping in mind current child was an 'accident', am keeping all my fingers firmly crossed. And look, no typos despite crossed fingers!)

noon said...

Sue - No typos despite crossed fingers! :) Cute..
But hey - never know - this time around you may plan it meticulously and go for it wanting a sibling for your child...and if it happens I will be eager to read your post on that one! :)