Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Kutti girl turns one!

B and I woke up to KG calling out to us as she always does from her crib this morning. For a second we forgot that today was her birthday. I nursed her and passed the cozy bundle that she is on to B. He took her downstairs and I went back to sleep. An hour later, B brought her back into the room (this is our usual routine) when KB woke up. As she came crawling to my lap from the edge of the bed, I suddenly exclaimed to B, "Oh my God, it is her first birthday!". My excuse is that I was really sleepy when I woke up at 5.30 am because KG woke up three times unusually last night to nurse and I had to wake up to take KB to the bathroom too.

From that moment on, I have been so aware of this feeling that she is now a one year old. One! Not 3m or 6m - she is one! I can hardly believe it. When KB turned one I felt like I noticed the time passing by. With her, time just flew by. Last year this time, I was in the hospital, just having delivered her. The dramatic, lightning arrival of this little tigress! That's what we call her these days. She is bold, strong willed, confident, playful, affectionate, expressive and utterly delightful to us. And in her own way she is calm, composed and patient. I can hardly believe sometimes how she has a distinct personality at such an early age. I remember how KB's pediatrician told me during his 3m check up, "You try to remember all his infant personality traits...twenty years from now, you will think back and say, yes, he was that way even as an infant". He didn't mean that people don't change, but there is some distinct personality that is so inherent to the person that you can observe at a very early age.

During my second pregnancy, when I was about to go for the ultrasound that would also give me a hint of the gender of the baby, I had no expectations. I was OK with a girl or a boy. If I had any thoughts, it was just that I wanted the baby to be healthy. It was quite the opposite during my first pregnancy, I actually was sure it would be a girl, I only dreamed of a girl and wanted a girl child. And it turned out to be a boy at that time. For the second child, when the doctor told me (it was at 13 weeks I think, very early on) that he is 80% sure that it would be a girl, I had no feelings either way . He was a very experienced and funny Japanese doctor. Later when it was confirmed that it would be a girl baby, I just took it in stride. I didn't think much of it. It was my sister who e-mailed me saying how special it is to have a girl child and how much she enjoys having a daughter (she is now in high school). I would have been very happy had it been another boy. But now that I have kutti girl, I can see why my sister sent me that email. I love both KB and KG just the same. In fact people often tell me I have an extra soft corner for KB. I just think it has to do with his being the first child and how I feel protective towards him just because he is more sensitive compared to KG.

There is a certain bond you feel with a daughter that you just cannot explain. A feeling that comes from the common gender? A feeling that she will understand? That she already does? When I see how much she has helped me cope with the days soon after my mother left, I want to write her a letter now and show it to her later as to how she saved me from agony by being such an angel. Eating fast, sleeping on her own when she was sleepy because I had no choice but to sit and give KB his lunch. I just did not have the time to rock her to sleep the way I did when KB was an infant. She smiles at me as if knowingly and thumps me with her warm palm on my nose and cheeks. She is certainly not an easy child just because of how extremely energetic and fast she is in every thing she does. She cannot sit still for a minute. Our constant gripe is that we cannot hold her long enough to feel her cozy warmth. She asks to be carried only to squirm and jump out of our hands to grab some object that caught her attention from that vantage point. She is demanding because she needs to be watched or she will speed to the stairs and climb with squeals of delight while we come chasing behind her. She is always testing the barricades we put up for weak points and escapes to forbidden zones like the bathroom or the garage or the yard when we are not right next to her. I drop the spoon when I am feeding KB and run behind her screaming, "Oyi....oyi...KG KG KG, no, no no, no stairs" much to KB's delight. He just loves it when she is up to some mischief and I run and stop her.

DhaDHa is how she calls her brother. She came up with it on her own. That he is DHaDHa. She stresses on the DH and screams loudly for him when she hears his voice on the monitor downstairs as soon as he wakes up. She is usually awake an hour before him and is downstairs with B. Her eyes twinkle with delight when she sees him in the morning or when B comes back from work. She shows her love for people in the most expressive and outright manner. She squeals so loudly as if to welcome them. She loves playing with KB and pulling his hair and laughs with innocent abandon that makes my heart feel so full with joy. She fights with him like an equal when she wants what he has in hand. Which is usually all that she wants. The moment he loses interest, she does too. She is very aware of what his things are it seems like. If she sees his hat, she crawls to him and gives it to him. She stands freely and cruises holding on to furniture. She took one step a couple of times but has not walked yet.

She recognizes some tunes - especially "Twinkle twinkle little star". If she is eating and suddenly she hears that tune on one of KB's toys, she starts swaying her head side to side. She loves to imitate my facial expressions. If I smile and close my mouth and again smile and repeat that really fast, she does the same thing really fast. She loves fake coughs. If I notice her coughing, she gives me a smile and gives me fake coughs again and again. She loves to hide in the school bus tent and play peekaboo. After a long day when she is ready for bed, even if I am cooking or sitting at the high chair feeding KB she just drops what she is doing and comes and clings to my legs. Her silent and calm communication at that moment just makes me feel so at peace. The feeling that she knows to communicate with me knowing that I will understand her need at that moment. KB is most gracious at such times (when B is not home) and doesn't mind the interruption to his feeding. I take her upstairs and change her diaper, turn down the blinds, turn on the music and leave her in her crib. And off she goes to sleep.

I am glad to have been blessed with a daughter and like my sister wrote to me, I can already feel how special this relationship is going to be. Like different ragas, they both bring me joy and delight in their own special ways. I wonder how it was when she was not around for us, for KB, before she came into our lives last year. As I write this, I think of the time when B was trying to convince me that we should go for a second child. Providence was on my side and I am so thankful that I didn't stick to my original refusal to go for a second. All that I have had to give up for the sake of having KG, I would do so again if I had to. She really does make the family feel complete. Knock on wood. God please keep them both healthy, happy and safe.

Edited to add: I was giving KB his dinner this evening when she came and stood next to me looking at KB. As if to give me a gift on her birthday, she turned towards B who had just come back from work and took her first steps. She herself looked thrilled at her feat! Just two steps a couple of times and that was our sneak preview into her next big milestone!


ranjani.sathish said...

Dear dear R baby
Many many more happy returns of the day !!! May God bless with you a long, happy, healthy and beautiful life :-)

This was a beautiful post, a perfect gift for your daughter which she can always cherish later !!

Neera said...

Many many happy returns once again KG!! Sending much love and many good wishes for great health and loads of happiness and laughter ur way!

Such a lovely post noonoo. Our daughters really are similar. Quick to get cuddled and just as quick to squirm out :) Hugely expressive. And absolutely delightful in ways more than one.

I too am loving the mother daughter bond already. And I wondered whether her expression of understanding what I feel is just a figment of my imagination. You confirmed it isn't :)

Many congratulations to the proud parents and the adorable big brother as well.

~nm said...

Happy birthday little princess!!

What a wonderful round up you have given for her Noon. And she is looking just so adorable in ALL the pics! And so is the lil big brother! :)

noon said...

Ranjani - Thanks so much - will pass on the blessings to her! And thanks for reading/commenting so nicely on this post! Wonder if this blog will be around and if she will read all this later?! :)

Neera - Thanks so much! Will be fun when our kids meet up - esp the girls are so close in age.
And I loved your lines about "figment of imagination"! :) Well, with your comment, now I feel like it is not my imagination! :))

NM - thanks so much for your comment! I was so happy to see these comments when I logged in just now...Such sweet ones...

Anonymous said...


I have been to your blog many times earlier though this is my first comment.

A wonderful post about your daughter and the pictures are such perfect slices of her life showing her sweetness. I am sure she is such a delight to your family. I especially relate to your post as i have a older son and younger daughter combination. The way you have narrated her cooperation and communication is touching.

Enjoy these precious and innocent moments! A very happy birthday to your daughter and best wishes to your family!

- Shree

Maggie said...

She's one already! And such a doll! Happy, happy, birthday to the little darling...

Lots of love and hugs from Moppet and me :-)

S.Praveen said...

Happy Bday to Kutti gal :) Shes really really cutteeeee.

utbtkids said...

Happy birthday dear baby. Wishing you a healthy and happy life.

One??!! So soon??!! Are you sure Noon?!!

Preethi said...

Happy birth day dear kutti girl!! I really loved the pics.. you look adorable, especially the one with your li'l bro! And congrats on the first 3 steps.. {Applause} Hugs to all 3 of you!
Noon, this was such a heart warming post, in Noonie style.. loved it..

Preethi said...

I meant to say first steps but said first three steps.. oops!! hehe!!!

ddmom said...

Happy Birthday Dear Kutti girl. Hope you had a fun filled day, and here's wishing you many many years of happiness and best of health.
Noon, such a beautiful post, especially the para on bonding with daughters.
Both your kids are adorable. Loved the pix with KB looking over her and the one where both the kids are sitting next to each other. And the curly hair one.. ok.. all of them.. just too cute.

K 3 said...

She is so precious!!! Such an angel!!

Hope you had a great day, kutti. Here's to many more fun filled days!

Hugs! K 3 Aunty.

DotThoughts said...

dear kutti baby (no, now a toddler, no?)

Many, many happy returns of the day to you! Love and kisses and hugs. Noon, the first picture was so beautiful that I could not take my eyes away from it. I had to force myself to actually read the post and it turned out to be such a delight. I have said is before but there is something about your posts. some amgical quality that just reaches out to you. And now, here is my favorite line of the post-
Like different ragas, they both bring me joy and delight in their own special ways

I don't have a second child, but reading this line, makes me want to!

Anonymous said...

Hi de-lurking first time though am a regular reader. Just could not resist. You have such lovely kids. Please sutthi pottufy to both of them.

A very Happy Bday to Kutti paapa. Gold bless them.

I have a 16 month old daughter and so relate to the feelings on the Mom-daughter bonding. Lovely

Enjoy your lovely family. Nothing else matters:)


noon said...

Shree: Thanks so much. Always a pleasure when someone delurks and leaves a comment - nice surprise.
And esp when it is a warm comment. How old are your kids?
Thanks for your wishes.

Mags - thanks a lot...eagerly waiting for your big news!

Praveen - thanks! Shall pass on the compliments to her!

UTBT - thanks...I know what you mean..with her time just went by so fast and she is one...she took more steps today and she is so thrilled!

Preethi - thanks so much. How do you like NC so far? Where in NC? Heard Chapel hill is lovely with green tress all over the place..Keri too I think..you are so lucky - while moving is hard it is nice to experience so many places!

Mona said...

happy birthday, kg!
gorgeous pictures, noon.

Aditi's Album said...

Wishing KG a very happy birthday as she turns one. The post was wonderful and I could relate to all that you mentioned about mother-daughter bonding. As you sister says, it really is special...KG's pics are so very cute. I feel like giving her a big huggy for being such a darling daughter.

BangaloreMom said...

Hey R baby!!

MANY MANY happy returns of the day, sweetie!! Did you know I thought of you when I was out shopping in Chennai and saw these incredibly tiny, beautiful pattu pavadais?

Noonie, beautiful post!

Poppins said...

Belated wishes..

Happy birthday KG sweetie, Noon she's gorgeous !

artnavy said...

Many Many happy returns

A very touching post

lots of love to both

Anonymous said...

Hi Noon:

My kids are now 7&3/4 yrs (son) and 5 yrs (daughter) - much older to yours. The pic of brother bending over his baby sister reminded me of a similar pic of my son and daughter when my daughter was under 1.

You pen your emotions very beautifully and so many of us who have those feelings but can't express as well as you do connect to it instantly! Great blog!

- Shree

Collection Of Stars said...

Belated birthday wishes to little KG :)
Lovely post and KG looks so cute.
And yes, we are blessed to have daughters. I feel the same with KT - she is almost like a little friend/companion to me now.

The Gypsy said...

Oh and congrats on Kutti girl turning one and taking her first steps!I will come back to read the post.
HAppy birthdayyyyyyyyyyyy baby girl!

noon said...

DDmom - thanks! I left you a comment on your b'day post yesterday. SO much of what you have written about Dlittle is so similar to KG isn't it?
Thanks for all the nice words..

K3 Aunty - thanks! :) Had a nice time - low key - our neighbors daughters came by and we all played...well my brother played with them and I watched and enjoyed!

Dottie - thanks for your sweet wishes for KG. Oh don't even get me started - if you so much as hint you would like to have a second I will start to strongly encourage it - so I will just keep mum for now! :) And thanks a ton for your compliment about my writing - coming from an awesome writer like you, I feel quite thrilled about it! Thanks!
And my goal is that at least in the next four months I have to smoehow get the oven working and bake a cake and send you a picture and get a pat on the back! :)) Just so I get rid of this mental block when it comes to baking!

Sweha - thanks for delurking and commenting! 16m daughter - pretty close in age our daughters then...
Why don't you blog? Will be fun to read about her too...

noon said...

Mona - thanks!

Aditi - thanks! Shall pass on your tight hugs to KG! I kasakki (crush/hug) her a lot!

BM - thanks! It's good you wrote or I would have emailed you reminding you to wish! :) Thanks girl for thinking of her when you looked at those pavadais...I put a pavadai on her for the first time yesdy - looked so cute - but KG her boss brother told me - no no, take that skirt out...he had never seen her in somehting like that - he thought it would be bothersome for her I think!

Poppins - thanks! Her Ayusha homam is on July 3 - so you are early per her star birthday! :)

Art - thanks so much!

Shree - similar age diff too. Son and daughter. My cousin has kids this age and she always like to wink and brag about it - to tell me she has crossed the difficult first five years! :) So you have earned your bragging rights too!

And thanks a lot for your nice words about my writing...feels so good to know that you like it...

CofS - Thanks...yeah, I can't wait to see how it grows when she is slightly older and can understand more...

Gypsy - have done the quirks tag - have to find it. I have been so bad about doing tags...really bad!

Aryan said...

Happy birthday KG...YOu look so cool..and cute..HUGS to you...
Very good post..No words to describe...
Indeed my favourite KB is also a sweet big brother....
Enjoy the days ahead noonie family

noon said...

Aryan - thanks...you have always been so nice about reading and commenting. Hope you are enjoying your MBA! :)

Cantaloupes.Amma (CA) said...

Such lovely pictures ... I remember reading your blog for the first time when you wrote about KG's birth and now she is already one !!!
God bless the little one !!

Mama - Mia said...

noon - read your comment on BMs blog and HAD to jump here!! and what a treat this post was!!

belated happy birthday to the l'il angel!!

all the photos are SO adorable!! especially the ones of KB and KG together! he seems like such an understanding and indulgant bada bhaiyya!! :)

god bless!!



noon said...

CA - And look at you in that time - two kids now! Isn't it nice...we have been through all this together....

Abha - thanks for visiting and commenting...nice to see you here...
Yes he is really a sweet brother to KG...

Mystic Margarita said...

OMG! How did I miss this one? Wishing the little princess a very very happy birthday!

It's such a beautiful post - your love and adoration for KG shines through each and every word!

I'm so sorry I'm late in wishing the doll, but I think the google search criteria on your blog is still deactivated (we did that before the shower, remember?), so blogrolling doesn't show updates.

Once again, here's wishing a world of happiness to KG and her loving family. Here's to many many more birthdays to come! :)

Usha said...

Happy birthday Kutti.
May you continue to bring these special blessings to your family in your special ways.
Loved all the photos but my favorite is where she is doing the krishna pose. She has very expressive eyes.

noon said...

MM - I mailed you - thanks !

Usha - Thanks! I know you like the Kutti Krishna pose.. :)

Trish said...

OMG,noonie..this is such a sweet post and KG is just adorable.I love her pic with the backpack!
And congrats on her first steps..I am sure..now she must be an even bigger riot!!:)
And doesnt it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when she pats you with her warm hand,when you are so harried?
Muaaaaaaaaaaaaahs to KB & KG!

dipali said...

Such a delightful child! Both your kids are beautiful:)
Many happy returns to the birthday girl.
Wonderful post, Noon!