Kiran tagged me to write down things that make me happy. It's funny that a cheery tag like this can actually send me into melancholic mood...
Because I wonder about what makes me happy and I wonder if the answers are taking a while to come to my mind, if I am not happy now...or is it just that I am sleepy and my brain has turned off?!
I really enjoyed reading Kiran's list. I actually wished I could have written a list like that. To know so clearly that some of those things would make me happy...that would do me good.
Shoes, perfume, bags, a gift from husband (not that it happens often - he assumes now that I don't like what he gives me anyway!), chocolates, mom's cooking...none of those would feature in my list. I used to delight in "Kit Kat" chocolates when I was a kid - it really used to make me happy. My sister used to bring it from the US when she visited and somehow we used to get a stock every few months. Now it means nothing to me. Kind of sad when those simple things don't make you as happy anymore! Well, I love mom's cooking - but I don't know if that's what would make me "happy". On second thoughts, a "thoughtful" gift from husband may make me happy - just because he thought about it and got it! See, I am taking this tag so seriously.
I can think of some moments that made me truly happy. But when it fades into memory, it all seems so fleeting and hard to attain again - it makes me sad again. So I don't even think about it. I tend to thrive on just silly jokes and laugh so hard over nothing and somehow those moments are when I would say I am happy. But yes for the purpose of this tag - there are a few things that do make me happy...
- when I catch up with an old friend and I feel like I spoke to him/her only yesterday...that warm feeling makes me feel happy.
- the other day I was about to go downstairs to make my decaff tea and come back up to the office room (where I use the laptop) after saying "good night" to B. He walked out of our room to get something and somehow we end up talking in hushed tones (so as to not awaken the kids) right there by the stair case and laughed so hard over some silly joke he made...those unexpected moments of laughter just make me really happy. I just thrive on such moments.
- when I receive a nice long hand written letter or even a meaningful, warm email from a friend - who is truly making conversation with me...it really makes me happy.
- There are a few friends with whom I talk and somehow we end up spinning silly jokes - taking off from the other person's last line - just keep spinning on and on and laughing over nothing - it happens every now and then when we talk - I love those kind of conversations. We just laugh and laugh and just enjoy ourselves so much.
- I sometimes randomly make small sketches on pieces of paper (looking at some other sketch and copying it) - occasionally I paint it in color - when they turn out well, it makes me happy.
- When I was pregnant with KB, I could not find maternity clothes that fell nicely on me - especially the sun dresses. So I got myself a sewing machine and bought a couple of patterns and sewed a few sun dresses for myself. I felt really happy when I wore them - I never had the patience to sew nor did I think I could sew at all - that unexpected piece of my own creation made me happy. (OK, so sewing a good outfit makes me happy!).
- When I sing a song and hit the high note perfectly, and I hear the reverberation I feel truly truly happy. I wish I could sing more often and well. I would be much happier as a person over all I think!
- my children make me really really really happy. When the four of us sit together as a family and play with them, I wish I could live in that moment for ever. I feel truly happy and blessed. And even as I think that I have this fear that something may take that away from me.
- If my dad was also alive and if my parents still were living in our house in Chennai and I could go back to visit them there...spend time at home...it would make me so so so happy! Sorry Poppin - I know you are shaking your head saying "What's this obsession about a home in India?!". But the image of it fills me with happiness and that it will never be - that my children can never go back to a home there - makes me sad.
Now I am moving a happy tag to a sad tag - so I better stop here. It's pretty late anyway and B wants to leave early for work tomorrow - so I better wind up now. Sorry Kiran - this is just a random list of things that make me happy. Thanks anyway for tagging me - helps me realize that there are definitely some things that make me happy! :)